The Must-Do List

1:41 PM

I am the queen of lists. Have been since I was a kid. It helps me stay focused and organized. I even make a list when packing for a trip so I don't forget a thing...I plan my outfits for each day so I don't overpack, lol. So last night I decided I am going to make a must-do list. Not a to-do list...this is a MUST-do list.

I'm trying to put myself out there more. I have become sort of a recluse in the last few months and am ready to burst out of my bubble and get out there because being a recluse is so not me. The first step was attending this great event last Sunday in Manhattan hosted by Christine Arylo called A Day of Self-Love in NYC. Best part was that each person with a ticket received a signed copy of Christine's book Choosing ME before WE. At $22, that was a steal.

Christine is awesome. And I didn't realize how bad I was until that day. This was also a testament to what I always say about how when we feel good, we want to look good. That day, I had to talk myself out of getting out of bed. I just felt so sad.  Once out of bed, I basically threw something on, didn't even bother to set my hair and just pulled it back into a little ponytail (my hair is not that long, lol). To sum it up, I looked a hot damn mess. And I didn't feel so hot either. The event did make me feel better but honestly, it was a wake-up call. It really made me see that I needed to get it together.

What cemented that fact for me was when I was waiting in line to get my book signed by Christine. Here I was, getting ready to meet one of the most phenomenal people ever and when given the opportunity, I did not use it to the full ability that I should have. My friend Aja did the opposite. She went up to Christine and was chatting her away. Christine told her that she felt Aja was destined for great things and Aja was just smiling away, being that great person she is. Aja has this aura about her, this light. You can't help but smile when you're in Aja's presence. However, me...that day I was so sad. And I knew Christine felt that. She hugged me and told me to hang in there. I told her that my dad passed away 10 months ago and I have been trying to get through it. I then told her how I am writing a book and it has been hard to get through that. She left me with the parting words of "Keep writing and good luck with the book! Things will get better." My sadness prevented me from really, truly connecting with someone and having a happy empowering moment. I had so many questions about getting a book published and wanted to get some sound advice.  I was so disappointed in myself and went home feeling defeated. When I went to bed that night, I vowed to never do that again to myself. Especially when I opened up my book and saw that she signed it "Remember that no matter what, you are loved." What a powerful statement in such a short sentence.

So the next day, I got up and made the decision to never let myself go outside looking a mess ever again, lol. Also, I had to remind myself what I tell so many people...your life is what you make it. You create the life you want. Sure, we have obstacles and setbacks to face but at the end of the day, you have the power to change what you don't like and choose how you will live that day.

Back to my list...because I am trying to create the life I want to live and stop being sad over something that cannot change. My dad is never coming back in this life. He may visit me in dreams and I know I will see him again when it is my time to leave this world but for now, he is not here. But I still am and I need to live. I need to honor his legacy.

So here's a few things I have on my must-do list...

1. Go see the Freedom Sisters exhibit at the Malcolm X & Dr. Betty Shabazz Memorial and Educational Center.
2. Go to the Coffee and Tea Festival on Sat, 2/25 - tickets are $10 through a deal on Time Out NY.
3. Go to Philly and visit my friend Marie and make her go with me to do the QVC tour. She doesn't know it yet but she knows now. LOL. (this is planned for the weekend of 3/10)
4. Go to the City of NY museum with my friend Mr J, who I planned on going with back in Dec and never did. I have tickets I bought on Groupon last year that I have yet to use. SMH.
5. Go to the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta (which I will do very soon).
6. Make a conscious effort to see my friends more...even if it's a call, a lunch, something.

That's all I have for now...I don't plan too far ahead and I am trying to plan things that are doable right now. I have just put off so many things and I need to be out there, living. That is my lesson for today...as the saying goes, don't put off tomorrow what you can do today. I'm done putting off my life. The time is now. If you have a must-do list, I would love to know what is on it since I draw inspiration from others ....please share either in comments here or on the FJM Facebook page. :)

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