Fearless Inspiration: Assume Your Awesomeness5:10 PM
I'm back! I took a little hiatus from the blog because between Father's Day (which is always a tough day), Full Figured Fashion Week and the end of the school year, things got pretty hectic! Since then, I have been reflecting on many things in my life and am excited for what's to come. One thing that has been on my mind is love and the many facets of it. Let's talk romantic love first...
I've been single for almost a year. When I say that, I mean, no dating, nothing. After my last relationship, I decided I needed a time out. I needed to reflect on why I was choosing the same kind of man and ending up with the same result.
The last guy I dated was a good guy. But I think we rushed things and we ended up in different places. I wanted certain things and it seemed like he wanted the same things. But sometimes while two people may want the same things, if they are not compatible in other ways, it just won't work.
During my time out, I realized that:
1) I wasn't ready for love to come into my life because I had some issues within myself that I needed to work on. And...
2) I have never been in love.
Yes, you read that right.
In looking back on my past relationships in my life, I realized that every relationship was rushed and forced. I never gave love time to grow. I think many of us are guilty of rushing things because we want love so bad. But I have since learned that love needs to be built. If there isn't a strong foundation, love won't survive. You have to take your time and get to know someone. And not ignore the red flags. A person can put on their best face to give off a great first impression but sooner or later, shades of their real selves will appear.
One of the best lessons I have learned in my life is that time is valuable. So for me to jump into a relationship out the gate and rush things is only going to waste my time in the end if it doesn't work out because I would have invested years in someone that I wasn't meant to be with. And that's not to say that couples who meet and immediately hit off don't have a chance. But what I am saying is go in with your eyes open and really see this person for who they are and not who you want them to be.
So I did the online dating thing years ago and it didn't work for me. I kind of dismissed it as online dating sucked. But I have heard about and seen so many positive relationships that have come out of online dating ads that I was forced to really ponder this one. I also asked my male friends about their opinions, too. Ladies, having male friends is a plus. Most men think differently than what we think is on their minds.
We all want to give a great first impression but why are we trying so hard when we should just be. We know we're a catch. We know we're good people. The more you scream to the world that you are a good woman, the more the world won't believe you. The proof is in the pudding. Be that good woman at all times. Show who you are instead of telling someone who you are.