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Showing posts with label Blogging. Show all posts
"I am recognizing that the voice inside my head is urging me to be myself but never follow someone else." ~ Q-Tip, "Steve Biko (Stir it Up)"
For years, I wore the wrong size. I thought I was larger than I was AND I had been fed that notion growing up that wearing baggy clothing would hide my fat and draw less attention from the world. I used to lie about my size because I was ashamed to be a size 24 and wore clothing that was a size 30/32 in order to hide my body.
For me, those days of hiding and lying about my size are over. I'm still on my journey to complete self love and I know that journey is a lifetime commitment.
Now I'm a size 26/28 and I don't lie about it. I embrace it because it is me and honestly, my size does not dictate my worth in anything. My clothes fit me better -- I mean, how amazing do I look in those Lane Bryant jeans in the above pic? Baggy jeans were not a good look for me. I'm daring to step out of my comfort zone more and wearing different styles - the more fashion I try and love, the more my confidence builds.
AND... my size has actually been my strength and worked for me in a positive way. It has helped me with this blog and reaching other women who need inspiration and empowerment from someone who they resonate with. It has helped me get signed as an extended sizes fit model with State Management, it has helped me stand out in the influencer space and it has taught me how to use my voice to make change in the world.
However, these days, I am now seeing women (including bloggers) lie about their size and saying they are smaller. I see them squeezing into clothing that doesn't fit well. And it confuses me because it's evident that the clothing is too tight and ill fitting, as well as the wearer not looking super comfortable.
Girl. Why are you doing that to yourself?
I'm all for people wearing what they want but I also want to inspire women to embrace who they are, including their size. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all beautiful in our own right, no matter your size, age, gender, race and etc.
I want women to proudly wear their size and not think twice about it. I want them to not get caught up in the number and focus on being comfortable in what they choose to wear. Why? Because then you will feel good and will feel more comfortable and strong, wearing something that fits well, isn't stopping your breathing and squeezing the life out of you.
Another reason I personally don't get caught up in sizes anymore is because it is so inconsistent across the board. I wear a size 22 in ASOS, a size XXL (24) in City Chic, a 26 in LOFT, a 28 in Lane Bryant, and so on. Shoot, sometimes I have worn a size 5X at Gwynnie Bee! If I let all that get to my head, I would lose it.
So I shop by my measurements and wear what I love. I wear styles that enhance my curves, lumps and bumps. I know my body shape and know what looks good on me. I wear clothing that I feel good in and that includes those "taboo" styles like a body con dress, a crop top, shorts and leggings. As long as I feel good and love how it looks on me, I wear it.
If you love how that extra tight smaller size looks on, then I will be quiet and let you live. But it does sadden me that some women feel like they have to lie about their size, their weight and all of that vanity stuff because we do those things for others; to seek validation from others.
At the end of the day, we shouldn't be dependent on the validation of others because what counts is the validation we give ourselves.
The most important relationship you can have in life is the one you have with yourself. That relationship will determine how the other relationships in your life will go. And if you can't keep it real with yourself, how will you do so in other relationships?
Some food for thought...
Life is short. Be proud of you and all you have been able to do in your life in your body. Size ain't nothing but a number and has nothing to do with your beauty and what you bring to the world. There is only 1 you in the world so why not celebrate that?
"You gotta have the mindstate like: 'I'm so great,' and can't nobody do it like you do. Miraculous, phenomenal and ain't nobody in here stopping you." ~ Remy Ma, "Conceited"
"Create your own style… let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others." ~ Anna Wintour
Happy February! This is the month of love and I plan to love on myself extra all month long. I'm in the midst of this wonderful love affair with myself and it has been life-changing.
Two weeks into the month and already it has been incredible with New York Fashion Week, being featured twice in articles about loving yourself, being seen on the Society Plus website and having a curated "closet' on Avenue.com!
Avenue is such an amazing company. They have provided fashion options for me since I was a teenager and I even worked at an Avenue store for two years. I will always be a loyal customer because they genuinely want to offer their customer what she wants and are so open to working with bloggers above a size 22.
You can view my closet here and shop the blue cold shoulder dress I am wearing above.
Another great body positive company is Society Plus! Man, Jessica Kane, who is the queen boss over there, is amazing! And she's a size 26/28 herself so she knows our plight in shopping as a plus size woman. I am so honored to be featured on her site, wearing her gorgeous Midington skirt in red. You can view my feature on Society+ here.
I was also featured in La Voz Hispana Newspaper in a feature about wearing red and loving your curves on Valentine's Day. Special thanks to the author Marta Rivera for including me.
Lastly, I was honored to be included in a feature by Alysse Dalessandro of Ready to Stare all about being single and happy on Valentine's Day. You can check that out here.
Stay tuned to the blog tomorrow to hear about a project I launched this week, which is near and dear to my heart. Hope you are enjoying this month of love and showering yourself with extra love and self-care now and all year round. I know I am! :-) #beinspired #befearless
"When women support each other, incredible things happen." - Anonymous
I've been in this place in my life where I am evolving and growing. It's crazy. Just when you think you know what you're doing or think you know the industry, something happens to change your perception and enlighten you.
This lookbook I am about to discuss with y'all has changed my life and outlook on the plus size community and industry on a whole.
I am a big believer in creating opportunities for myself. I spent a long time complaining and being resentful that others were getting opportunities and I was being turned down and passed over. Then one day, I realized that I needed to get out of this pity party because at the end of the day, I am in control of my life. I can make things happen.
Why not create opportunities for myself and others?
My biggest gripe has always been that there is not enough representation of women my size in campaigns and in the media. I yearned to see bodies like mine. In talking to many in the industry, I have heard an array of reasons why diversity hasn't fully taken its place in the plus size industry. From fat phobia within brands run by straight size people to the masses not being ready to see larger bodies, I have had so many conversations about this.
However, those conversations did not change the fact that I, as a size 26/28 woman, often feels ignored by the plus size fashion industry. Hell, sometimes I feel excluded by my own community including the activists. It often feels like I straddle the line between the fashion community and the activists and feel like I have to choose a side. But why should I?
I love fashion and dressing up. I also love speaking out against fat bias, discrimination and lack of support. I want to join the fight in pushing size diversity to the masses and bringing attention to what's going on in the world. I mean, Marilyn Wann is my hero and has been for years. But I also love showing my outfits of the day and talking to women about fit and style, especially those above a size 22. This is when the idea of creating a style book came about.
Bloggers put out lookbooks all the time to promote a brand, a trend or season. It's a great visual way to show the products on a non-model body, gain exposure and provide some style inspiration. So I thought, why not use a lookbook as a way to introduce a group of bloggers over a size 22 to the masses while offering their quotes on confidence, body image, style and fit? And it was then that the Style 22+ lookbook was born.
So I began creating my dream list of bloggers I wanted to include in this lookbook. I tend to follow a lot of bloggers because of my current job at PLUS Model Magazine and tend to gravitate towards bloggers who are not only stylish but fearless, genuine and down-to-earth. I tend to not look at numbers or how fancy images are.
Images can be strong on their own when the person in the image is exuding confidence and true happiness from within while knowing that while they are not perfect, they are beautiful. I also wanted to show bodies that you normally do not see in the media or campaigns like those apple shaped girls who carry most of their weight on top.
And I wanted this lookbook to be different. So not only did I ask the women to submit images of them wearing their favorite looks that showcase their style, but I also asked them to answer questions from which I pulled quotes from and placed throughout the lookbook. The quotes talked to topics such as confidence, inspiration, body image, shopping, fit and more.
The lookbook is almost like a mini book that introduces these fabulous women who are all different in style but have the same intent... to live fully in the bodies they are in now, happy and confident. It shows that women above a size 22 can be happy and dress to the nines.
This lookbook taught me the importance of community. It taught me the importance of support. It taught me the importance of having a tribe. Most of all, it taught me that my purpose is bigger than I could have ever imagined.
In the blogger world, there are those who are all about themselves... ME, ME, ME. However, if any change is going to be made in the industry on a whole, we need to support, help and teach each other. We should never view each other as competition because at the end of the day, I believe that there is room at the table for ALL of us.
It's so easy to compare yourself to others and resent their successes because you wonder why you didn't get that opportunity. But honestly, if that opportunity was meant for you, it would be yours. Again, it's about creating your own opportunities and putting your best foot forward. Never giving up and being true to your purpose.
We are all unique and should showcase that. There's no one else like you in the world so why would you think you're competing with someone? The only person you're competing with is yourself.
All of the women in this lookbook are amazing. And they inspire me to keep going. We've already been featured in Buzzfeed, The Curvy Fashionista, Estrella Fashion Report, Daily Venus Diva, PLUS Model Magazine and Dressing Room 8. And it is not over.
This lookbook has me excited for 2017. Because I am so ready to see where this takes me. I have big dreams and ideas that I am going to make happen. I'm already working on the next lookbook, which will be about body love.
I want to show the world that you don't have to be naked to be body positive. I want to show the world that an activist can also be a fashionista. I want to show that all bodies are beautiful. I want to tell the world that fashion is for everyone. And style isn't dictated by size.
Madonna recently spoke about how she's a rebel and rebels are fighters. She then said:
"At the end of the day, it's the rebels who change the world."
That's what I am... a rebel. I will never give up on my mission to support ALL women and inspire them to know that they are beautiful and worthy at ANY SIZE. And health and fashion/style should never be in the same sentence.
Click here to check out the Style 22+ lookbook. Or view it below. And stay tuned for other body diverse and positive projects from yours truly. :-)
Special THANK YOU to the amazing women who joined me in the Style 22+ Lookbook Project:
ShaKera of The Real Sample Size
Amanda W. of Bella Moxie
Meshel of The Muffin Queen's Closet
Ashley of Simply Curvy
Lisa of MustangSallyTwo
Amanda K. of The Koker Chronicles
Meagan of This is Meagan Kerr
Corissa of Fat Girl Flow
Amanda A. of Fashion, Love & Martinis
Emily of Authentically Emmie
Rebecca of The Plus Side of Me
All of them are incredible women that are leaders in this big girl revolution taking place. Yes!
"As long as I am breathing, in my eyes, I am just beginning." ~ Criss Jami
New Year's Eve... many of us think of it as a time for new beginnings. A do-over.
I look at New Year's as a day of reflection. I usually treat my birthday as my real "New Year's" so at this point, it's a great time to reassess where I am in life and keep pushing forward. We never stop evolving and as long as you're alive, you can always create a new beginning for yourself.
New Year's Eve also gives me a great excuse to dress up, drink some champagne and reminisce about the good times while looking forward to what's to come. It's all about enjoying that very moment and remaining hopeful for the future.
Back to the dressing up part, I have been wanting to wear a tulle skirt for a long time. But I'll be honest and say that I haven't seen one I truly love. So when planning my outfit for this third installment of our #CurvasenNYC New Year's Eve holiday fashion collaboration, I wanted something fun and bold. And I found it in the form of a red tulle skirt, which I fell in love with at first sight. Yes!
As you can see, I opted for fun and sparkly whereas Darlene went for a glam and modern black look with a touch of fur and Dana went for a beautiful, "Old Hollywood" look in blue. I love how we all complement each other and are ready to hit some parties and dance the night away.
I paired this red Tulle Mesh Midi Skirt from Torrid with the Makeup Face Tee from their new Torrid Insider collection and the Sequin Open Front Jacket, which I love so much as well. I have been trying many sequin pieces this season and this is the first one I am keeping. The sequins are not heavy or like weapons (you don't even want to know) and the jacket is ponte so there's stretch and it's comfy. I finished off my look with the Phone Clutch Bag and gold flats (my own).
I had so much fun in this outfit that I couldn't stop smiling and laughing. That's when you know you have found the perfect outfit. It's not about just looking fierce but more about how happy it makes you feel. You can look dope but be uncomfortable and that shows.
Honestly, this whole look is comfy and easy to move around in. So I can get my dance on as I wait for midnight and feel amazing while doing so.
Shop my look from Torrid:
Be sure to check out Dana's and Darlene's New Year's Eve looks over at their blogs:
Who's That Girl Dana? - www.whosthatgirl524.wordpress.com
Suits, Heels & Curves - www.suitsheelsandcurves.com
If you missed any of our previous installments of our #CurvasenNYC holiday fashion series, you can find them below:
You can also see what we are up to this holiday season by finding us on social media via the hashtag: #CurvasenNYC
What do you plan to wear for New Year's Eve?
**While this was a sponsored post, all opinions and comments stated are my own.
"I'll never be the size that has single digits and my thighs will always touch when I walk but I'm okay with that." ~ Sugar Jamison, Dangerous Curves Ahead
But this year, I'm in the spirit. I miss my dad and brother but I know they would want me to celebrate and be thankful this holiday season. I am feeling great... my confidence is consistent... And I am really getting into fashion more for myself than just admiring it from a-far.
So one day, my blogger sisters Dana of Who's That Girl Dana?, Darlene of Suits, Heels & Curves and I were talking about holiday fashion and what to wear this season. And then we thought why not do a kick-ass fashion collaboration series together? We're three different sizes, shapes and heights AND we're all Latinas living in the big city.
Holiday time in NYC is a magical time. Lights everywhere, trees and just festive stuff all over the place. So why not take advantage and use the "Bright Lights, Big City" as our backdrop for our first blog post of this three-part holiday fashion series featuring three of our favorite plus size fashion brands.
In this first installment, we are focusing on Holiday Party looks, all from Fashion to Figure. Whether you're going to a glam party where you are channeling your inner bombshell or going to a holiday office party to even going out with friends for drinks, FTF really has a look for every occasion.
I chose to feature a look I would wear to meet with friends during Happy Hour. I'm very low-maintenance and like effortless but chic and pretty looks. I always want to feel pretty - that is a must in my world.
The dress is kind of short for my liking during the winter so I opted to pair the dress with the Stanton Black Ponte Leggings and some tall boots. I finished my look off with FTF's Sleekster Patent Satchel, which I am in love with. FTF has the best handbags and they are so affordable.
The dress has tons of stretch so I was able to fit into a 3, even though I am a size 26/28. I fit into a 3 in the leggings as well. This look is comfortable while making me feel beautiful and look chic. I love the zipper detail at the neckline that allows me to decide how much cleavage I want to show.
So that's my take on a holiday look perfect for those holiday girly drinks with your friends and the entire look is under $125. Plus, if you take advantage of FTF’s current promotion of 30% off (code 30FOR30) you can save an additional 30% off, making this entire look well under $100. Ballin' on a budget, ladies!
Be sure to check out Dana's glam bombshell holiday party look and Darlene's fun office party look over at their blogs:
Who's That Girl Dana? - www.whosthatgirl524.wordpress.com
Suits, Heels & Curves - www.suitsheelsandcurves.com
Stay tuned for next week's look focused on a casual but cozy holiday look from another one of our favorite retailers (shhhh, it's a surprise!).
You can also see what we are up to this holiday season by finding us on social media via the hashtag: #CurvasenNYC
What are your some of your favorite holiday party looks?
**While this was a sponsored post, all opinions and comments stated are my own.
"It sounds like a cliche but I also learnt that you're not going to fall for the right person until you really love yourself and feel good about how you are." ~ Emma Watson
I have made no secret of my constant work on myself and it has not just been about my grief. I've always been confident but loving myself fully has always been hard. I tend to be very critical and I realized that I became my own worst critic.
When you're critical of yourself, you are not fully accepting and loving all of you. You are only loving parts of you. And that will not keep your confidence consistent. When your confidence is not 100% or consistent, it affects you in so many areas in your life, even your love life.
It's all about acceptance. Accepting who you are now but knowing that if you don't like something about yourself or your life, you can change it. When you accept yourself, flaws and all, and accept that no one is perfect but you are still amazing, imperfections and all, it's like a light bulb goes off above your head and your heart bursts with more love.
Because when you're critical of yourself and not fully happy, you project that onto others. But when you accept who you are and focus on the amazing things about yourself, that love for yourself will grow. It's a daily process and not easy but so worth the work. Change your mindset, change your life.
Just remind yourself daily... no one is perfect and will ever be perfect. Someone may seem perfect but you never know the backstory of their life.
I'm still single and for the first time in my life, I don't feel lonely. I feel empowered. Why? Because I am choosing to be single until I meet someone that I truly want to be with. And not just being with any man that comes along because I don't want to be alone. I'm telling you, once your confidence is on point, you will never settle for anything in life. And you will be so happy and determined to chase your dreams. At the age of 45, this is where I am and it feels so good. I don't feel alone. I feel like I'm waiting on someone wonderful to come into my life. And while I wait, I'll continue to be the best ME I can be.
So with that said, my confidence ties in with my style. I am daring to show my legs more and get my sexy on, in a classy way. You can be sexy with clothes on. It's all in your attitude.
This red leopard dress from Lane Bryant spoke to me. You know what it said? "Girl, you better wear me because I am meant to be rocked by you... you know you're fabulous and beautiful and I would look so good on you." LOL!
So wear it I did...
I paired the dress with red flats (also from Lane Bryant) and a moto jacket clutch from Pinup Girl Clothing, which is one of my fave purses at the moment. It doubles as a crossbody purse and is so me.
Honestly, this dress makes me feel pretty, happy and just amazing. The fabric is stretchy but it fits well. I love the draping on the sides of the skirt part as well as the silver bar cinching at the waist. The 3/4 sleeves are so nice and the knee length took some getting used to but life is too short to be afraid to show some leg.
You can shop my look with the below links:
Animal Print Dress with Hardware from Lane Bryant - click here
Faux Suede Ballet Flat from Lane Bryant - click here
Moto Jacket Clutch from Pinup Girl Clothing - click here
"My memories are of denim. I remember being 12 in my Levi's. Wow!" Stefano Gabbana
When I think of my pre-teen days in middle school, my memories are of denim. Like Stefano Gabbana, I remember being 12 in my Levi's.
However, the difference here is that I was a plus size kid and had to "borrow" my dad's Levi's. As a child growing up in the 80's, I was thankful for the men's department because for me, the only designer brand that offered my size 36/38 bottom some jeans in the women's department was Gloria Vanderbilt. God bless that woman.
While I loved my colored Gloria Vanderbilt jeans (She was before her time with colored denim), it wasn't quite the same as wearing regular wash denim. When I put on those Levi's, I felt normal. I felt like everyone else. I felt like I didn't have to try hard to fit in fashion-wise because I was wearing what the thinner kids were wearing.
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| 1985 - when acid wash denim was hot (and now it's back!) - I'm on the right |
A few decades later, plus size denim has evolved and there are more options. But now at a size 26, my options are still limited. And let's not even talk about the fact that I have a small waist in comparison to my bust and hips AND I have large upper calves and smaller ankles. So skinny jeans for me are no-go, even in plus sizes. Retailers seem to think all calves are one straight size. But I digress.
However, denim has played such a big part of my life because it is my go-to everyday piece. I love how I can take a pair of jeans and wear it effortlessly from day to night with a switch of shoes and an addition of a jacket or different top. Add some accessories and a hot clutch and BAM, there you go! So I refuse to give up on finding the perfect fitting pair of jeans for me. But it feels like there is still more changes to be made when it comes to offering fashion to women above a size 24.
I have made no secret for my love for Catherines. I've been a brand ambassador for them twice this year and I never endorse a brand unless I truly love the fit and quality of their clothing. They are one of two places I have been able to get denim off the rack, that fits well. And they offer up to a size 34 and 6X. Yes! So when they reached out to me to be a part of their #denimdebut campaign and gifted me some jeans, I jumped at the chance.
I opted to choose a pair of medium wash jeans from their new True Stretch line to try something new and get out of my fashion box. I usually wear dark denim because I am not comfortable showing off my lumpy thighs. But I realized I was making my lumps more visible than they actually are. We see things differently than how the world sees them, when we focus too much on the negative. This is something I am working on one day at a time.
I paired my jeans with a embellished neck tank top, black lace mixed-media jacket and suede booties, all from Catherines. I added a pop of color with this dope green bag from Fashion to Figure.
I love the silver fringe detail at the neck of this tank. It takes a simple tank and makes it FANCY. And I love all things fancy.
This jacket is the best thing I own at the moment. The sleeves have stretch so they fit my large upper arms well. And the length of the sleeves are perfect (I usually have issues with sleeves being slightly long on me). Love the mix of lace and faux leather - very chic. And this jacket looks very expensive.
Now I have yet to find a pair of jeans that fit me like a second skin but I will take what I can get. Sure, the fit isn't smooth because of the size ratio between my thighs, knees and calves. But I think I still look pretty damn good. And that's what counts.
Thanks Catherines for offering some of the best fit and quality in clothing for plus size women that I have seen to date. And that is my personal opinion (no endorsement deal at all). I think my pictures and beaming smile say it all.
You can shop my look here:
Check out Catherines on social media with the hashtag #denimdebut to see how other plus size fashion bloggers make their own denim debuts in Catherines new denim line this fall. What do you think of my look? Do you have issues finding great denim? Please leave me a comment below and let me know!
**Sponsored post disclaimer: The clothing in this post was gifted but all of the statements and opinions are my own.**
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