Irreplaceable? I don’t think so.

Friday, December 3, 2010

I’m not a Beyonce fan at all. But as I walked thru a shoe store looking for a pair of boots a few months ago, I was miserable. Near tears. Thinking of him. I took a deep breath and tried to hold back the tears. Then it happened. Beyonce’s Irreplaceable came on overhead in the store. And once I heard “To the left, to the left”, I couldn’t help but laugh. Thank goodness for God and the universe. Always there to help you when needed. I sat there, trying on boots and laughing as I listened to the lyrics.

Now I have that song on my MP3 player and listen to it all the time. It makes me feel empowered. It also reminds me that he is not irreplaceable. I can and will find someone better. Maybe I already have. You never know. That’s the beauty of life and its surprises.

Now I wasn’t crying because I missed him or want him back. Hell no. But it still hurts because of what he did. Sometimes it’s hard to let go but you have to. So hearing this song made me realize that he really is not worth any of my time and I just need to let go. He lied. He cheated. Can’t change the past but I can control my present.

It hurts like crazy when a relationship ends, especially if it ends on a bad note. We think the pain is unbearable but in reality, it is. It makes us stronger and is a blessing in disguise. Sometimes we have to go through the bad to get to the good. Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s hard to be patient. We ask “Why?” and we want love NOW. We don’t want to wait. We don’t want to kiss a bunch of frogs before getting to our Prince Charming/Cinderella. But even though you THINK you’re ready, God and the Universe know better. You have to trust in that. Faith is everything.

I recently met someone great. He tells me he’s never been in love. Can you imagine that? Living your whole life and not ever being in love. Well, I actually think it’s a blessing for him because when he does find love, it’s going to be that great love. That is the journey God put him on. When he does find love, he will appreciate it so much to the point where he will make sure he will do everything he can to keep it and not take it for granted. He will be ready and he will get knocked off his feet.

I admire him so because it takes a certain level of maturity to say out loud that you have never been in love. Too often, people use those three little words quickly without realizing the intent and meaning behind them. We meet someone who we have an instant connection with and are in lust with so we think we are in love. But honestly, if you were in love, it would be more than a connection or physical connection. Love is looking at the person as they are and being happy with them as is. Love is being at someone’s side no matter what. Love is being considerate of each other. Love is something that should be treasured and not just insinuated or mistaken for lust.

This someone great has made me think of love and its importance. And I wish more people were like him. If we weren’t so quick to claim love with someone, we’d save ourselves a whole world of heartache. It’s like I said in my last note, we have to take our time and build. Love is life lasting so it takes time to grow.

This brings me back to the patience factor. Many of us are so impatient and that just wrecks our faith in waiting and trusting in God’s time.

The best advice a friend ever gave me was to stop looking for love and let love find you. And she can back that up with her own experience. She stopped looking in her mid-30’s. She was done. She had not had the greatest luck in love. And when she least expected it, she met the man who would become her husband. She wasn’t looking and even as he pursued her, she was still resistant to the idea of love. He hung in there because he knew he had found love. Now they are married with two beautiful children.

Sometimes we don’t know that what we need is right in front of us because we’re too busy either focusing on the wrong person or being closed off to the possibilities to see what is in front of us. But the Universe/God knows what we need. We may think we know but really that is our desires talking, In the end, what you want is not necessarily what you need.

So have a little faith…trust in a higher power’s timing and be happy NOW. Right this moment. You don’t need someone else to fulfill you and make you happy. You can do that all on your own. And when you least expect it, Mr or Ms Right will appear and knock you off your feet (as Ms Keri HIlson sings in one of my fave songs).

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