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"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Happy New Year, my favorite people! Now that the holidays are over and a new year is upon us, we can exhale and move forward. The holidays are tough for a lot of folks, me included. But we made it. We're still standing.
January is a big month for diet companies and gyms. They come at us hard with this whole 'New Year New Me' message and they make a ton of money, profitting over people buying into this notion that we have to lose weight to have a better year ahead.
I am all for people doing what they want with their bodies and I am also a big believer in movement for ALL bodies. But I also want to stress that your body, regardless of its size and shape, is incredible NOW. Our bodies enable us to live, even when we have limited mobility and disabilities. We are still able to breathe and experience life in the best way we can. I am not here to judge because I believe we are all works of art as we are right now.
I was reading a post on IG where the author was talking about how we focus on losing in the New Year, when we really should be focusing on gains. And that just made a lightbulb in my head turn on. I am a big believer in turning negatives into positives because changing my mindset has changed my life and gotten me thru some of the hardest moments I have ever experienced.
So this year, I am going to focus on what I gain while giving myself grace to know that I shouldn't overload myself with a long list of what I want to do and set myself up for failure. I am training myself to slow down and focus on 1 to 2 things at a time so I can follow through and get things done. I find when I focus on a zillion things (which is how my busy brain works), I tend to not finish everything I started and it gets so frustrating. I feel defeated and then give up entirely.
Yes, I know it's hard to believe as many people think I am someone who has my shit completely together but in all honesty, I have my moments too. I plan to create to-do lists every 3 months that are short and doable but things that I want to do and know I can follow thru on. It may be simple tasks like crocheting a dress for my niece but working on a project like that takes time, patience and consistency, which are things I want to strengthen within myself.
The biggest lesson I learned last year was the importance of showing up for myself and others. Showing up for myself meant:
- Being proactive in my self care, including taking care of my body physically by continuing to find a doctor that gets me and adding more joyful movement in my life to help with my lymphedema, as well as make me feel better and stronger.
- Being my own advocate and not being afraid to speak up for myself
- Being kind to myself and not beating myself over saying no or not doing something that I didn't feel comfortable doing (sometimes it's good to go out of your comfort zone but if you feel it's really not right, it ain't right.)
- Listen to my gut/inner voice. It is never wrong.
- Doing something nice for myself daily, even if it was something as simple as painting my nails, watching one of my favorite movies, giving someone an authentic compliment or holler on social media to let them know they are giving me life (lol) or even giving a hug to my 4-yr old niece Ashley and watching Paw Patrol with her.
- The more things you do for yourself that make you happy will build your self love and make you look forward to being present for more moments to come. It will also make you feel grateful for those moments and your life. It will remind you that you do have positive things in your life that can make you happy. Gratitude is a great way to be reminded that life is not all bad.
- Following through on things I start because it will remind me of the importance of honoring my commitments to myself and others.
Going into 2023, I am still working on this - I am a work in progress. What counts is that I am trying.
I am also someone who believes in helping people, including clothing swaps and donations. I want to manifest that into larger scale things where I am reaching more folks, mainly my plus size sisters/brothers/persons over a size 3X because we are often overlooked in so many sectors that limit us in accessing things we need for everyday life. (If anyone out there wants to partner up, pls message me!)
I also want to be open to new relationships and engaging more with people but I am treading carefully since this is not my norm. Venturing into new territory is scary but I am doing it one step at a time, while giving myself grace. I have met some incredible people in my life and want to reconnect with them.
That's all we can do for ourselves, one day at a time. We only have one life to live and after losing so many loved ones, grief and loss have taught me to appreciate my own life more. This is how I honor them... by honoring myself.
So this year, my goals are not weight loss or being a new me. My goals are what I can gain in my life to be happier, have more peace and live in gratitude as I am right now because I am pretty awesome just as I am.
If you want to lose weight, do you. You do what makes you truly happy. But just know that just because your outer changes, doesn't mean your inner will. You are YOU and that is an amazing thing. You just have to see that for yourself and lean into your beauty and who you are at whatever stage of your journey you're on.
The world is always waiting for me and for you... it is up to us to take that first step and see what's out there meant for us.
Comment or email me if you need inspiration or a quick holler. I got you! 2023, here we come!
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~ Marcy xo
Shop Small: 10 Plus Size Brands to Shop on Cyber Monday That Offer Above a Size 3X
Monday, November 28, 2022
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| I'm wearing the Francesca Dress in Magenta from Igigi - LINK |
I'm a big supporter of small businesses and indie designers. These folks have kept me looking fly for many years when big brands were not offering my size or styles that I liked. Small businesses always put a personal touch into their brands, including being accessible from a customer service aspect and even including a thank you card in your package.
There are so many lists out there of Cyber Monday sales that include major brands and I wanted to give some shine to small businesses today because Small Business Saturday was not enough. Here's 10 plus size brands that go that extra mile in offering an extended size range so those of us over a size 3X can look cute and feel cute too!
1. Renee Cafaro Atelier | Public Label
What they offer: Luxury clothing that doesn't break the bank. And their fit is on point.
Sizes: 16 to 32 and custom
Promo: 30% Off Entire Order* with code CYBER – this includes pre-order/made to order items.
Fine Print: Does not apply to gift cards or Renee Cafaro Atelier Couture requests. Valid until Nov 29, 11:59pm EST
LINK: https://www.rcapubliclabel.com/
2. Igigi
What they offer: Igigi has been around for YEARS and is the place to go when you are looking for a dress for any occasion. They now offer custom, not just by measurements, but also in length, sleeves and more.
Sizes: 12 to 32 and custom
Promo: 20% off off select styles with code BLACKFRIDAY through Wednesday, December 1, 2022
LINK: https://www.igigi.com/
3. Wray
What they offer: fine art inspired clothing line that are focused on both form and function. Every garment is created ethically at fair-trade operations in India, Hong Kong, Shanghai, and Peru.
Sizes: XXS to 6XL
Promo: 25% off your purchase with code BLACKFRIDAY at checkout.
LINK: https://wray.nyc/collections/black-friday
What they offer: Fat-friendly message tees that make a statement, vintage and original clothing and accessories
Sizes: 1X to 5X
Promo: 20% off sitewide with code BFCM22 at checkout.
LINK: https://proudmaryfashion.com/
5. Hey Mavens
What they offer: Intimates and sleepwear in cute colors, luxe fabrics (think lace and velvet) and quirky prints
Sizes: XXS to 10XL
Promo: 25% off orders $75 or more + get free shipping on every flat rate domestic order with code BFSHIP at checkout.
LINK: https://www.heymavens.com/
6. C’EST D
What they offer: Unique, style-forward clothing with the mission of unapologetically designing fashion for all types of bodies and ultimately providing ‘choices’ that are missing right now in fashion industry
Sizes: XXS to 6XL
Promo: 20% off sitewide + free shipping on orders of $180 and more. No code needed. Prices reflect the 20% off.
LINK: https://www.cestd.com/
7. Loud Bodies
What they offer: Stylish and comfortable clothing that’s ethically produced and sustainable
Sizes: XXS to 10XL
Promo: Up to 50% off sitewide. No code needed. Prices reflect discount.
LINK: https://loudbodies.com/sale/
8. Nerecina
What they offer: Made-to-order, sustainably produced formalwear that makes a statement
Sizes: Custom
Promo: Cyber Weekend Sale: 25% OFF everything! Automatic discount at checkout, no code needed.
LINK: https://nerecina.com/
What they offer: premium activewear with a focus on making products with high quality materials, style, fit and functionality
Sizes: L to 7X
Promo: 20% off your purchase with code BF20 + free shipping on orders $100+ and free returns
LINK: https://superfithero.com/
10. Alpine Curves
What they offer: Plus size clothing and gear that fit the everyday woman for her outdoor lifestyle. (INCLUDING THE CUTEST SKI STUFF)
Sizes: 1X to 6X
Promo: $10 off $50, $15 off $75, $25 off $100, $50 off $200. No code necessary. Discount applied at checkout. Free shipping on all orders of $99 or more.
LINK: https://www.alpinecurves.com/default.asp
What are some of your favorite small plus size clothing brands and indie designers that offer above a size 3X? Please let me know in the comments below!
10 Black Friday / Cyber Monday 2022 Sneaker Deals That You Need to Check Out
Sunday, November 27, 2022
It's my favorite time of the year! I live by the rule, "Don't pay regular price" and I mean it. Even if an item is not on sale, I will sign up for emails, texts, ravens... I don't care. I want that welcome 15% - 20% off deal. I live to be ballin' on a budget. This is why my brother always told me I was the richest broke person he knew, lol.
So many people ask me where to shop and what deals are out there so I decided to put together a list of my must-have sneaker sales during this hot deal weekend so you can clear out your Christmas gift list and treat yourself to something dope. I know I did!!!! (Yeah, I went a little crazy and have 4 pairs of sneakers coming my way... YIKES!) But I got some great deals and still managed to stay under my budget. With that said, get ready to shop!
Pls note, I will update this tomorrow to include any Cyber Monday deals (if they have changed - brands tend to just extend the current deal and tack on a little extra 10% or free gift on Cyber Monday).
#1: FILA
Promo: 50% off sitewide. So this means some styles are like $30. Yes!!!! If you love chunky sneakers and colorful kicks, this is a deal not to be missed. No code needed. It's applied to the price already.
The Fine Print: Valid 11/25/22 12:00am EST through 11/29/22 3:15am EST only on FILA.com. Discount is shown on category & product pages for eligible styles and will be automatically applied at checkout. Cannot be combined with any other discount or promotional pricing. All purchases are FINAL SALE and not eligible for return.
My Pick (yes, I bought these in the Coral Blush / Primrose Pink / White colorway, lol):
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| Women's Disruptor 2 Exp, Was $75, NOW $37.50 - LINK |
2: adidas
Pls note: the regular adidas site is offering 40% off sale and full price items with code CYBER at checkout.
Did you know that adidas has a store on eBay? And sometimes you get better deals there, which I found out this weekend. They are offering 50% off select items and the category is pretty vast. I bought a $75 track suit for my cousin for $25!!!! And scored these Stella McCarthy kicks I have been eyeing for a minute. They retailed at $250 and I got them for $75. I almost fainted. Best part? At checkout, eBay offered me an additional 20% thru their own deal on brands!!!! YESSSSS! Being able to stack coupons is rare so Merry Christmas to meeee!
Code: 50OFFADI - it is automatically applied at checkout but just in case you have to enter it.
The fine print: Expires November 28, 2022. Max discount $1,000. Limit one use per transaction (or cart) while supplies last. (So you can use it on more than 1 order, if you decide to go back before the promo is over!!!)
Pls note: the regular adidas site is offering 40% off sale and full price items with code CYBER at checkout.
3: Vans
I found out recently that Vans offers wide width sneakers and you can create custom kicks and clothing. So this deal is extra meaningful for those like me with wide feet who like unique shoes.
Promo: $20 off all shoes + 40% off all apparel and accessories. Not a deep deal on shoes but still meaningful, especially if you want to get some custom sneakers.
The fine print: Promo auto applied at checkout. Not valid on outlet items.
4. Skechers
Another great brand that offers wide widths and has some cute styles. My faves are the Arch Fit and Skech-Air - so comfy and cute. Their BFCB deal is 30% off your order with code BF2022 at checkout.
The fine print: *Offer valid 11/25/22 through 11/27/22 on select regular priced items at www.Skechers.com. Enter code BF2022 at checkout. Not valid at other stores and websites carrying Skechers products. Offer excludes Slip Ins, Massage fit, Hyper Craze Bounce, select accessories, prior purchases, test styles, sale or clearance items, gift cards, applicable taxes, and shipping charges. Cannot be combined with other offers or promotions.
5. New Balance
Been in the game since 1906, as well as one of the few sneaker brands that are US-based and owned, people tend to sleep on New Balance because they are known to be more function and comfort than style. However, they have really stepped up their game style-wise in the last few years + this brand is podiatrist-approved. Gotta be good to your feet and they will be good to you. Because I personally know some folks who are dealing with toe infections, heel issues and yellow, banged up nails right now and I don't know about you but I'm not trying to go that route!!!! They also offer up to XX-wide widths. Yes!
Promo: 25% off shoes, 40% off clothing and accessories all Cyber Weekend.
The fine print: Offer valid on newbalance.com from November 24, 2022 through November 29, 2022. Discount applied in cart. Exclusions apply. Can't be applied to previous purchases or purchase of gift cards and cannot be redeemed for cash or used in combination with any other offer.
My pick:
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| Fresh Foam 680v7, WAS $79.99, NOW $59.99 - 25% off at checkout FINAL PRICE: $44.99 + free ship (available in reg and wide widths, sizes 5 to 12 in 3 colorways) LINK |
6. Nike:
I'll be honest, I'm not much of a Nike fan because I have always found their sneakers to be too narrow for me. But I wanted to include them on this list as I know many folks love the brand. I will admit the custom Nike by You feature has me intrigued but I am not sold on the fit to the point of spending money on a pair. For me, fit is everything because I take care of my feet. Under Men's, they have 19 styles in wide and extra-wide but they are not cute to me AT ALL, lol.
Promo: 25% off select styles that are up to 60% off here. Enter code CYBER at checkout.
7. Puma
I'm a fan but sometimes I get frustrated as a shopper because Puma will drop a new collection right on a sale day but then say it's excluded from the sale while promoting it alongside the sale. Not cool. Case in point, they just dropped their Paw Patrol collection and I was ready to buy some stuff for my niece Ashley for Christmas. But everything is not only regular price but excluded from the promo. No, thank you. I will wait.
On the upside, they have many styles under $50 that are cute. If you have wide feet, I suggest avoiding the leather styles and going for the suede ones. Puma tends to have a narrow fit but I have been able to wear the suede styles comfortably with a wide foot.
Promo: Up to 50% off + extra 30% off with code CHEER at checkout here.
8. Converse
Another brand I find narrow so I don't really wear them often. But my niece Angel is a fan. I just recently learned they offer a wide width custom option, which has me intrigued. I'm not completed convinced enough to buy a pair but will report back if I do.
Promo: Extra 40% off sale on selected styles with code CYBERWEEK at checkout. Ends 11/28/22 at 2:59AM EST.
9. Asics
Asics are so comfy and they are my top pick for sneakers to wear while I am exercising or doing anything active-related, including long walks.
Promo: 30% off almost everything with code CYBER at checkout.
Added bonus: Make a purchase anytime between 10/1 and 12/21 in-store or online, and receive a discount code on 12/22 to save $20 on any purchase of $75 or more, in-store or online.
10. Reebok
I have been meaning to try the Cardi B styles because they are CUTE. While they are excluded from promotions, they are marked down 40% AND the clothing goes up to a size 4X. Color me shocked.
Promo: 45% off full price styles + an extra 50% off sale styles. Use code BLACKFRIDAY at checkout.
BUT WAIT....
For Cyber Monday, they will be offering up 50% off reg priced items and 60% off sale items with code CYBERMONDAY and you can shop now if you sign up for their Reebok Unlocked program here.
So if I were you, I'd wait until tomorrow to shop or sign up for their Unlocked program!
My pick (my old school fave):
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| Freestyle Hi Women's Shoes (8 colorways avail), WAS $85, NOW $42.50 (after 50% off) LINK |
Notable mentions:
ASOS sells many sneaker brands and when they have a deal, it can be used on the sneakers too!
Promo: Up to 80% off markdowns + up to extra 30% off – surprise discount will be revealed at checkout. Enter code ALLIN at checkout to receive discount. Ends 2am EST on November 28, 2022.
My pick:
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| adidas Originals Forum Bonega sneakers (white with marble print colorway), WAS $120, NOW $60 + your surprise discount at checkout. LINK |
I discovered Solestop on a sneaker blog in 2020 and have been a loyal customer ever since. The Canadian-based company offers a vast selection of brands such as ASICS, New Balance, Hoka, Vans and adidas. Their prices are great and they ship fast. They also have hard-to-find styles, which is great for sneakerheads looking for certain styles that may be sold out in US.
Promo: Extra 40% off select regular priced items here and extra 20% off sale items here. Code BF2022.
So that's my roundup! Did I forget to mention your fave brand? Pls let me know in the comments and I will find out what deals are out there. I got you! Happy shopping!
“If you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone.” – Maxwell Maltz
Recently, I checked something off my bucket list. I booked myself a room on the Queen Mary 2 transatlantic cruise liner, going Westbound from Southampton, UK to NYC for next May. It'll be my first time on a cruise and of course, I had to go BIG.
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| My attitude now - tee from Fashion to Figure (old) |
As someone who has spent most of her life more single than boo-ed up, I could never get on a cruise because single supplements were out of my budget. All my friends have significant others and I am always the odd one out. Thankfully Cunard, who owns the QM2, recently added single rooms to the ship and the price is comparable to a double occupancy room. They're also very accommodating to solo travelers and will give you tailored itineraries daily, offering you the choice to go at it alone or mingle with other guests at meals and activities. Go Cunard! Read more here.
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| The Britannia Single Oceanview Room, which I booked - Photo: Cunard |
Traveling solo is actually something that I love doing. It's just something empowering about going somewhere by yourself and having that freedom to do things on your time. You get to do what you want, when you want at where you want. There's places I want to go to that my friends have no interest in visiting such as the Antarctic Peninsula and Easter Island.
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| First time showing off my upper arms in Los Angeles - California Dreaming Mural |
But as someone who suffers from generalized anxiety disorder, traveling solo has pushed me beyond my self-imposed limits. Sometimes I win and sometimes I don't. But it has not stopped me from traveling. I have learned to not let my anxiety limit me in seeing the world. I also learned that traveling my way may look different but it is still okay.
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| My first solo trip in 1998 - Martinique |
What I mean by that is I travel at my own pace and don't feel like I have to adhere to a certain schedule or see certain places because everyone else has. As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy. It's so easy to get caught up in the word of social media and feel that FOMO. But you have to ask yourself, is it what you truly want? Because in all honesty, you don't see the behind the scenes happenings on social media. The true things happening behind the pic or video - are they truly enjoying that moment or just trying to get the perfect pic to pretend they are? We'll never know but that's okay because what matters is what makes YOU happy. And that may look different than what your favorite influencer is doing.
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| Cancun |
Your life is your life. And you should live every single minute the way you want. This is what traveling has taught me. For me, that also means, not feeling a way about asking for a selt belt extender or having to use a wheelchair at times at the airport if my legs hurt from my lymphedema. I tell myself, I will probably never see these people again so if they want to stare, have at it. If I see someone recording me on their phone, I start recording them and let them know that. I grew tired of feeling like it was my fault and being upset, which affected my trip. It's their problem, not mine. So I refuse to carry their burdens and let it weigh me down and affect my traveling experience.
I remember being in the emergency room last summer for an extreme nose bleed from getting whacked in the face by accident by a flying suitcase falling from my closet (another story, for another day, lol). And as I was getting checked in, the person at the desk yelled out to me, "How much do you weigh?" as I sat in a room full of people. I yelled back to her "That's not appropriate to ask someone that loudly in front of other people because it's my business. If you want to know, you can ask me when I am in a private room, waiting to be seen by a doctor and you can ask me, not yell at me." She actually came out and apologized, saying she didn't realize as she was rushing to check multiple people in.
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| Before I climbed 268 steps to touch Big Buddha - Po Lin Monastery, Lantau Island, China |
Sometimes you have to let people know that it's not right to treat people a certain way. Periodt. This is something I think about when I travel and have to deal with rude flight attendants (which I am happy to say has been rare) and people acting funny if they have to sit next to me. Their problem, not mine. And I have learned to not be afraid to speak up and advocate for myself. But it does take time to build up the courage to do, I won't front. One day at a time.
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| Venice |
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| Champ Élysées in Paris |
No, not anymore. I learned how to turn on my mental blinders and just be unbothered. It took a long time to make that a habit but being fearless doesn't happen in a day. However, if you commit to it and try one day at a time, it becomes the norm for you. You take your power back and trust me when I say, it feels so good. You feel free. You don't hear the comments or see the stares. You just live in the moment where it's just you enjoying your life. Because at the end of the day, you can't force someone not to stare or change others. But you can change how you react to the situation and how you let it affect you. This is a reminder I tell myself on the daily.
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| Going out to dinner in Anaheim, California |
With this way of thought, I feel like I can do anything and go anywhere. I admit, I may have days where I am anxious about leaving my hotel room by myself but I work on taking that first step out. If I don't, that's okay. I give myself grace and don't beat myself up over it. And sometimes, I may end up leaving the room later in the day or maybe just venturing out into the hotel. Any step out of the room is a win.
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| At the Su-Style Expo in San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I'm not perfect. No one is perfect. But you are you. And you are worthy of living your best life and that includes traveling and seeing different places. And how that adventure looks to you is for YOU, no one else. If you never want to leave the country, that's okay. Explore your country. Explore your city, your state, your province. You do YOU.
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| Grand Canyon SkyWalk |
That's what traveling solo has shown me. It has helped me to become a better person, ultimately living a better life where I continue to grow and heal.
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| Roaming the streets of Paris |
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| Drinking at a tequila farm outside of the pyramids at Teotihuacan |
My QM2 adventure is still 9 months away but I cannot tell you how excited I am. Am I terrified about getting on a cruise liner by myself and being at sea for 8 days straight, crossing the Atlantic. HELL YES. But will I let that stop me from going? HELL NO. Shoot, I'm already planning my outfits. And I plan to live my best life during that trip, one day at a time.
Do you love to travel or want to travel more? Where do you want to go? Let me know in the comments below or on social media. I'd love to chat about it! xo, Marcy
Why, hello 2021!
While I am not relieved yet that 2020 is gone (it still felt like 2020 with all the stuff going on in the first 2 weeks of the year), a new President is in the White House today and I just found out that a major plus size brand has expanded their sizes on some items.
So today is one of those days where I am feeling hopeful for the world and the closets of women over a size 3X/24.
Without further ado... that brand is is LANE BRYANT.
Yes, you read right. Lane Bryant has been around since 1904 and now in the year 2021, I spied about 50ish items on their site that go up to size 38/40.
This was my face at first - Wuuuuuut?!?:
Then I got up out of my chair...
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| And walked around my living room as if it was my runway. I had to channel my inner Velvet D'Amour. See, I always get extra happy when I see brands offering above a size 3X and 24. I recognize that I have some size privilege as I am a 26/28 and can sometimes fit into a 3X on top and there are mega brands like Old Navy and Target that offer a 4X. But I know personally how clothing options dwindle dramatically once you are looking for sizes 4X and above. And I want ALL women to have access to clothing. It's a basic need, y'all. So Lane Bryant offering up to a size 38/40 is MEGA! I'm still in shock! I remember a few years ago, while at a Lane Bryant breakfast event at Full Figured Fashion Week, during Q&A with top heads of the brand, I asked if they would ever expand beyond a size 26/28 and one of the execs said NO so quickly and then went on to the next question. I was stunned at the abruptness, to say the least. Times have changed and I AM HERE FOR IT. I will always have love for Lane Bryant despite that question moment. Last year in Sept 2020, I had the honor of being a part of a social media campaign for Hispanic Heritage Month and I do believe that with this expansion, they are making an effort. You don't see many mainstream plus size brands using women my size in campaigns so it was a big deal for me to be included.   With that said, I really want brands like LB to know that the women above a size 3X and 24 do shop and that we support their efforts. Here's some of my favorites that are available in up to size 38/40: FULL DISCLOSURE: There is no size chart I could find on the site with the measurements for the larger sizes. So as always, shop with caution. If an item has spandex, there's stretch. If it's 100% cotton and looks woven, chances are there's no stretch. Be mindful of that when shopping.        You can view what I found on the site in up to size 38/40 here. I'm not sure if there are more items hiding but if the item number increases, I will post a follow-up here on the blog. There is no special category or mention on the site. I simply found it via word of mouth from ShaKera of The Real Sample Size (thanks, sis!). Honestly, I am excited they included some Livi items and I feel like this assortment is a good start. You get two claps and a runway walk for this new development, LB. Thank you! If you are on a budget and the prices are making you cringe, simply use code JANGIFT. If you spend $75, you will get $25 off your order; $50 off $150 and $75 off $225 and more. Free shipping kicks in on orders of $99 or more. Will you be shopping from Lane Bryant's new expanded sizes? Let me know below in the comments! **This blog post was NOT sponsored by Lane Bryant and all opinions and statements are my own. However, the product links in this post contain affiliate tags and I'll earn a small commission if you shop through them. This helps me continue to bring you amazing content. And your prices won't be affected at all.** |
Pretty much all the honest truth-telling there is in the world is done by children. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes
With everything going on in the world at the moment surrounding the Coronavirus pandemic, social distancing has forced many people to reflect, me included.With Women's History Month and International Women's Day both happening this month, March is always a time that I reflect on the women in my life who have inspired me to be a better person. And being home, practicing social distancing has me in double reflection mode.
I'll be totally transparent and admit that I have been practicing social distancing for a while now, since my niece died over a year ago.
As many of you know, my oldest niece Teá passed away in August 2018 at the age of 18. And she was my biggest cheerleader. She loved fashion and wanted to be a fashion designer.
When you lose a child in your life, it hits deeper than other losses. Losing my dad and brother were different. Still painful but different. Losing a child forces you to truly see life can end at any time. And for me, it was so much easier to retreat into my cave and not engage with others as I tried to figure out how to deal with the tragic loss.
Fashion and style has always been one of the major driving forces in my relationship with my nieces. Those two things helped all of us build confidence, connect and honestly, feel happy.
My nieces inspire me on so many levels because they have made me into the woman I am today. When I look at them, I see my reflection and that reminds me to keep pushing through.
I'm better because of them. They have taught me patience and compassion. They have reminded me of my beauty and greatness. They encourage me to keep my confidence consistent. They also remind me to be present and live fully in the moment.
Basically, my nieces, my "little women", are an important part of my life. They are like my lifeline.
They are the ones who encourage me to be different and celebrate who I am.
My late niece especially. She was all about creating her own trends and not being a slave to what the industry offered. She wore what she loved and boy, did she love fashion!
When my nieces were babies, I worried so much about them and always tried to lead by example but it hasn't always been easy, especially being on a journey of my own.
This journey included me finding out who I was, learning to love myself unconditionally and in turn, being who I was 100% through my style.
Fear had always been the deciding factor when I wanted to wear something bold that was so me. Fear of what others would say or think.
And my nieces see me in a different light than I do. So seeing myself through their eyes was so imperative to me during my journey because it showed me that I was my own biggest critic.
While there were times in my life where I just wanted to blend in with the background and not have a spotlight on me because of that fear of how others would look at me, my nieces always reminded me that I should embrace my uniqueness and own my space. That the only opinion that should matter is the one I have for myself.
They instilled in me the importance of the story I tell myself and how important it is to create a narrative that will uplift me and not bring me down.
Part of my uniqueness is my love for sneakers, especially adidas. I have been known to incorporate sneakers into my looks, even wearing sneakers with a gown on the red carpet.
Growing up in the 80's, the Run-DMC song "My adidas" became my "Rocky" anthem. To this day, when I hear that song and I'm wearing adidas, I walk taller with my head up high, with a pep in my step. I forget I'm a fat girl. I'm just me, rocking my style and my adidas.
Being plus size, not every store carries my size, so to be able to shop for sneakers and not worry about my size not being offered is MAJOR. I feel included, especially since I'm a shoe size 9, which is considered average.
What I love the most about adidas is how they celebrate women. This year for Women's History Month / International Women's Day, they are partnering with iFundWomen to support women entrepreneurs in sport. They want to create opportunity and visibility for women in the sport industry through access to funding and expert coaching. You can find out more here.
Sneakers have been part of my DNA since I was a kid and to be able to feel like everyone else and wear the same things as everyone else gives me peace in a world where I constantly stand out, sometimes for the wrong reasons.
I just want to exist, live my life to its fullest with lots of laughs and fun with my little women. But the world isn't that kind at times, with some expressing their opinions about me existing in a fat body.
I did not set out to be an activist but living in a fat body makes me one every time I choose to walk out the door and into the world.
My nieces remind me that while there are some who will react negatively to my existence, the majority of the world sees me as someone who inspires them to own their space.
They also remind me the importance of my work of encouraging my audience to celebrate who they are and step into the power of their personal style no matter what size or age they are.
I think about Teá every time I get dressed. Even after her death, she continues to take every step with me in this journey to living the best life possible.
I'm so thankful for the little women in my life for just being in it.
Suvana turns 18 this year in May and will be able to vote for the first time. She is a gifted artist who loves to wear all black, has a collection of combat boots and watches Steven Universe.
Angel will be 14 in June, a few days after the six-year anniversary of the death of her dad. But that child has so much light and color that I know she will make him proud. Her Tik Tok videos kill me every time.
Ashley will be 2 in May and is already showing that she has a stand out personality and is so independent. She loves to try on my adidas and walk around in them. Serenity is three weeks old and I cannot wait to see the woman that she becomes.
Man, these kids make me want to do incredible things so they in turn will want to do the same. Plus, I want to always be the cool Auntie, lol. The next generation looks so bright and I hope I live long enough to see all them blossom into their ultimate greatness.
At the end of the day, they remind me daily that we all have a story. Let's make sure it's a story worth living.
Here's some links to check out while you're home!
My favorite collection from adidas - Superstar! CLICK HERE
My newest pair of kicks - trying out the Advantage style CLICK HERE
The tee I'm wearing - it's a men's tee (wearing a size 3X)! CLICK HERE
And the next 2 pairs I am eyeing:
Superstar kicks in a snake print - YES!!!
Superstar kicks in a heart print - OMGOSH!!!
**This blog post was sponsored by adidas but all opinions and statements are my own.
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