New Year: Let's Focus on the Gains, Not the Losses!

Sunday, January 1, 2023

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Happy New Year, my favorite people! Now that the holidays are over and a new year is upon us, we can exhale and move forward. The holidays are tough for a lot of folks, me included. But we made it. We're still standing. 

January is a big month for diet companies and gyms. They come at us hard with this whole 'New Year New Me' message and they make a ton of money, profitting over people buying into this notion that we have to lose weight to have a better year ahead. 

I am all for people doing what they want with their bodies and I am also a big believer in movement for ALL bodies. But I also want to stress that your body, regardless of its size and shape, is incredible NOW. Our bodies enable us to live, even when we have limited mobility and disabilities. We are still able to breathe and experience life in the best way we can. I am not here to judge because I believe we are all works of art as we are right now. 

I was reading a post on IG where the author was talking about how we focus on losing in the New Year, when we really should be focusing on gains. And that just made a lightbulb in my head turn on. I am a big believer in turning negatives into positives because changing my mindset has changed my life and gotten me thru some of the hardest moments I have ever experienced. 

So this year, I am going to focus on what I gain while giving myself grace to know that I shouldn't overload myself with a long list of what I want to do and set myself up for failure. I am training myself to slow down and focus on 1 to 2 things at a time so I can follow through and get things done. I find when I focus on a zillion things (which is how my busy brain works), I tend to not finish everything I started and it gets so frustrating. I feel defeated and then give up entirely. 

Yes, I know it's hard to believe as many people think I am someone who has my shit completely together but in all honesty, I have my moments too. I plan to create to-do lists every 3 months that are short and doable but things that I want to do and know I can follow thru on. It may be simple tasks like crocheting a dress for my niece but working on a project like that takes time, patience and consistency, which are things I want to strengthen within myself.

The biggest lesson I learned last year was the importance of showing up for myself and others. Showing up for myself meant:

  • Being proactive in my self care, including taking care of my body physically by continuing to find a doctor that gets me and adding more joyful movement in my life to help with my lymphedema, as well as make me feel better and stronger.
  • Being my own advocate and not being afraid to speak up for myself
  • Being kind to myself and not beating myself over saying no or not doing something that I didn't feel comfortable doing (sometimes it's good to go out of your comfort zone but if you feel it's really not right, it ain't right.)
  • Listen to my gut/inner voice. It is never wrong.
  • Doing something nice for myself daily, even if it was something as simple as painting my nails, watching one of my favorite movies, giving someone an authentic compliment or holler on social media to let them know they are giving me life (lol) or even giving a hug to my 4-yr old niece Ashley and watching Paw Patrol with her. 
  • The more things you do for yourself that make you happy will build your self love and make you look forward to being present for more moments to come. It will also make you feel grateful for those moments and your life. It will remind you that you do have positive things in your life that can make you happy. Gratitude is a great way to be reminded that life is not all bad.
  • Following through on things I start because it will remind me of the importance of honoring my commitments to myself and others.

With showing up for others, to me it's like being in service to others. No man/woman/person is an island and warm, close relationships can make a difference. Even if you have that one person in your life, that gets you, that's enough. Show up for that person by saying Hi, I love you, I appreciate you or just being there to listen. I always say I know a lot of people but I have only a special few in my tight circle who are like my family. We're all spread out and at the beginning of Covid, I did isolate myself from everyone. I tend to be a loner but I also recognize that I need to nuture my relationships because I am grateful to them. They are worthy of me showing up for them as they do for me.

Going into 2023, I am still working on this - I am a work in progress. What counts is that I am trying.

I am also someone who believes in helping people, including clothing swaps and donations. I want to manifest that into larger scale things where I am reaching more folks, mainly my plus size sisters/brothers/persons over a size 3X because we are often overlooked in so many sectors that limit us in accessing things we need for everyday life. (If anyone out there wants to partner up, pls message me!)

I also want to be open to new relationships and engaging more with people but I am treading carefully since this is not my norm. Venturing into new territory is scary but I am doing it one step at a time, while giving myself grace. I have met some incredible people in my life and want to reconnect with them.

That's all we can do for ourselves, one day at a time. We only have one life to live and after losing so many loved ones, grief and loss have taught me to appreciate my own life more. This is how I honor them... by honoring myself.

So this year, my goals are not weight loss or being a new me. My goals are what I can gain in my life to be happier, have more peace and live in gratitude as I am right now because I am pretty awesome just as I am. 

If you want to lose weight, do you. You do what makes you truly happy. But just know that just because your outer changes, doesn't mean your inner will. You are YOU and that is an amazing thing. You just have to see that for yourself and lean into your beauty and who you are at whatever stage of your journey you're on.  

The world is always waiting for me and for you... it is up to us to take that first step and see what's out there meant for us.

Comment or email me if you need inspiration or a quick holler. I got you! 2023, here we come!

~ Marcy xo

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