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"The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others. And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom." ~ Osho (Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously)
What started out as a day where I thought I would be body shamed and told I was wearing a "tablecloth" actually turned out to be one of the best days of my life.
I have secretly loved gingham for a long time but never had the courage to wear it. I always felt uncomfortable at the thought of wearing a print where I knew someone would have something to say.
The opinions of others can be a pain in the ass and can really make you feel crappy. Yeah, I said it. People can be mean and it's not just strangers. Family members, friends, neighbors, hell, that lady at the bus stop... someone always has something to say about my body, my health and what I wear.
I love prints but have not always been as confident in wearing them as I am now. It took a lot of work on myself and how I let the opinions of others affect me.
Over time, I realized that many opinions are fueled by a person's personal feelings about the thing they are giving their opinion about. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AT ALL.
Shocker!!!!
And I have a choice in how I let the opinions of others affect me in my life. I can accept their opinions and let it limit me or I can basically wear what I want and do whatever I want in my life. After being limited for a long time, I chose the latter. You can't live your best life if you're letting others limit you and affect how you feel about yourself.
When I went to Los Angeles with Alysse from Ready to Stare, I vowed that I would live my best life during this trip. And I did! I wore a two-piece swimsuit on the beach, I wore white and now I wore what some would say is a "tablecloth".
Well, I call it magical. And seriously, I am in love with this Gingham Fit & Flare Dress from Lane Bryant so I don't care what anyone says.
We started the day by visiting Little Damage in downtown LA to try their Black Roses ice cream. It's $7 ($6 plus $1 for one topping) but well worth the experience. We stood on line for like 30 minutes and then met up with some of our blogger friends to indulge.
It tasted alright but it's not something I am eager to try again. It tasted perfumey to me but hey, you only live once, right?
Then the rest of the day was spent at The Plus Bus Boutique for our closet sale during their Birthday celebration. It was an amazing day spent with amazing people in an amazing dress.
Plus, Alysse and I were twinning! She had on Lane Bryant's Gingham Belted Skirt with their Chambray One-Shoulder Top. Alysse is not someone who wears full skirts so she definitely stepped out of her comfort zone. I love how she made this look her own with the top, which is her style. She wore Lane Bryant's Faux Suede Mule in tan while I opted for some pull-on sneakers, also from Lane Bryant. (Mine are sold out but there's white ones still available)
So when we spied this heart mural wall while getting some elote the night before (shoutout to the Elote Man!), we knew we had to return and take some pics there in our gingham fabulousness. How fitting that we posed in front of a wall of hearts and love, wearing a print that people would surely body shame us for. How's that for sticking it to the "man"!?!
Next time someone tells me I can't wear something, I am going to keep walking and decide for myself if I want to wear that style. It is my body, my rules and my style.
And always have a kickass friend beside you as you live your best FAT life.
You can shop my look below:
Click here to read about Alysse's gingham experience and see more of what she wore from Lane Bryant.
Plus, Alysse and I were twinning! She had on Lane Bryant's Gingham Belted Skirt with their Chambray One-Shoulder Top. Alysse is not someone who wears full skirts so she definitely stepped out of her comfort zone. I love how she made this look her own with the top, which is her style. She wore Lane Bryant's Faux Suede Mule in tan while I opted for some pull-on sneakers, also from Lane Bryant. (Mine are sold out but there's white ones still available)
So when we spied this heart mural wall while getting some elote the night before (shoutout to the Elote Man!), we knew we had to return and take some pics there in our gingham fabulousness. How fitting that we posed in front of a wall of hearts and love, wearing a print that people would surely body shame us for. How's that for sticking it to the "man"!?!
Next time someone tells me I can't wear something, I am going to keep walking and decide for myself if I want to wear that style. It is my body, my rules and my style.
And always have a kickass friend beside you as you live your best FAT life.
You can shop my look below:
Flower Crown - my own
You can shop Alysse's look below:
Chambray One-Shoulder Top from Lane Bryant
Chambray One-Shoulder Top from Lane Bryant
Stay tuned to our blogs for more of our California adventures! And don't forget to follow us on Instagram and Facebook to see even more photos. @readytostare @fearlesslyjustme
Click here to read about Alysse's gingham experience and see more of what she wore from Lane Bryant.
*This post is in collaboration with Lane Bryant but all thoughts and opinions are my own. This post also contains some affiliate links and I'll earn a small commission if you shop through them. This is one of the ways I can continue to bring you inspiring content. Thank you!
A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. ~ Yoko Ono
I am not a fan of wearing white.
So when planning this trip with Alysse of Ready to Stare and we were discussing what we would wear, I was shocked when I found myself suggesting we do a white look.
Maybe the fashion gods possessed me in that moment? Yikes.
I have been on this journey of venturing outside my comfort zone for the last few years and fashion is a big part of that. Every time I wear something that I have never worn before or thought I couldn't wear, I feel so empowered and free. My confidence continues to be more consistent when I make decisions for me and not for others.
But those choices are never easy.
The day we decided to shoot our images, Alysse showed me this California Dreaming mural and she thought it would be perfect for our white looks. So thus began our journey to finding this mural and dealing with a fear that Alysse herself was trying to overcome.
Alysse admitted to me that she hated to drive, especially in big cities and in major traffic. Well, everyone knows LA traffic is crazy. She knew going in that this would be a major huddle for her to overcome as I don't drive. Yeah, I'm a true New Yorker. The subway is my car.
Watching Alysse spend 5 days driving in LA traffic, where we had so many places to visit and go, even venturing into Orange County, I was in awe. Just as I wore that two piece swimsuit in public at Venice Beach, she made the choice to drive in traffic despite her anxiety about it.
The best thing about our friendship is that we get each other and we support one another. That support becomes empowerment for both of us. We are not afraid to tell the other if we are freaking out or need a moment. We have that unconditional love for each other and give each other a safe space to not feel guilty or judged for our fears.
So when planning this trip with Alysse of Ready to Stare and we were discussing what we would wear, I was shocked when I found myself suggesting we do a white look.
Maybe the fashion gods possessed me in that moment? Yikes.
I have been on this journey of venturing outside my comfort zone for the last few years and fashion is a big part of that. Every time I wear something that I have never worn before or thought I couldn't wear, I feel so empowered and free. My confidence continues to be more consistent when I make decisions for me and not for others.
But those choices are never easy.
The day we decided to shoot our images, Alysse showed me this California Dreaming mural and she thought it would be perfect for our white looks. So thus began our journey to finding this mural and dealing with a fear that Alysse herself was trying to overcome.
Alysse admitted to me that she hated to drive, especially in big cities and in major traffic. Well, everyone knows LA traffic is crazy. She knew going in that this would be a major huddle for her to overcome as I don't drive. Yeah, I'm a true New Yorker. The subway is my car.
Watching Alysse spend 5 days driving in LA traffic, where we had so many places to visit and go, even venturing into Orange County, I was in awe. Just as I wore that two piece swimsuit in public at Venice Beach, she made the choice to drive in traffic despite her anxiety about it.
The best thing about our friendship is that we get each other and we support one another. That support becomes empowerment for both of us. We are not afraid to tell the other if we are freaking out or need a moment. We have that unconditional love for each other and give each other a safe space to not feel guilty or judged for our fears.
After watching her be fearless in her driving, Alysse empowered me to rock this white look and not stress about it. I don't like to get dirty and I was always told white makes you look fatter. I thought, well, if she can conquer her fear of driving in heavy traffic and big cities, I can wear white.
And you know what? The world did not come to an end. I didn't get dirty and I certainly didn't look bigger. I actually looked amazing!
Ironically, the pink bottom part of the wall was dirty and it bothered me at first. I didn't even want to shoot near the wall. And then I was thinking about me wearing white and not looking great. It was in that moment that I had to change that conversation with myself.
I told myself that the dirty wall was actually cool because it represented the grittiness of LA against the prettiness of the mural -- LA is beautiful despite being gritty. And I told myself that I can look great in whatever I wear because I know how to dress my body lovingly and I know my style.
Once I changed how I was talking to myself, I became happy and so confident in my Burnout Floral Fit and Flare Dress from Lane Bryant. It did help that the dress was comfortable and had stretch. I paired the dress with Lane Bryant's Faux-Suede Mule in Taupe to give some color to the look. I added a necklace and purse I've had for years, to finish the look. I'm wearing a size 26/28 in the dress and a size 9W in the shoes.
I love a fit and flare dress because it shows off my waist and offers room for my hips. Those days of me hiding my upper arms are over too! My wings are free!
This was yet another moment during our LA trip where I lived fully and pushed through my anxiety and ventured out of my comfort zone. And it was because of Alysse, who conquered her own fear of driving in big cities. Our friendship continues to inspire me to live my best life NOW.
During our mission to find this mural, we ended up seeing so much street art in Los Angeles that it became a mini street mural tour too!
Alysse said best in her blog post about our California Dreaming adventure:
Click here to read about Alysse's California Dreaming experience and see what she wore from Lane Bryant.
This was yet another moment during our LA trip where I lived fully and pushed through my anxiety and ventured out of my comfort zone. And it was because of Alysse, who conquered her own fear of driving in big cities. Our friendship continues to inspire me to live my best life NOW.
During our mission to find this mural, we ended up seeing so much street art in Los Angeles that it became a mini street mural tour too!
Alysse said best in her blog post about our California Dreaming adventure:
So what's the lesson? Travel. Wear white. Get lost. Face your fears. And never let anyone else tell you what you can do.
You can shop my look below:
You can shop Alysse's look below:
Tie Front Fit and Flare Dress from Lane Bryant
Tie Front Fit and Flare Dress from Lane Bryant
Stay tuned to our blogs for more of our California adventures! And don't forget to follow us on Instagram and Facebook to see even more photos. @readytostare @fearlesslyjustme
Click here to read about Alysse's California Dreaming experience and see what she wore from Lane Bryant.
*This post is in collaboration with Lane Bryant but all thoughts and opinions are my own. This post also contains some affiliate links and I'll earn a small commission if you shop through them. This is one of the ways I can continue to bring you inspiring content. Thank you!
"There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish." —Michelle Obama
I recently visited the West Coast and it was a trip that was life-changing.
My first stop was Los Angeles, where I met up with my friend Alysse of the blog Ready to Stare. We had been planning this for a bit because we both love to travel and think it is an empowering thing to see two plus size women traveling together and having an amazing time. And that we did!
For me personally, this trip held a lot of firsts for me; one of those being wearing a two piece swimsuit on the beach IN PUBLIC and also having a photographer shoot me in that moment.
I was terrified because not only have I NOT worn a two-piece in public since I was 12 but I also have a fear of being too close to the ocean. I don't swim and after my Superstorm Sandy experience a few years ago, I love the ocean from afar.
But Alysse was with me and seeing her so comfortable in her two-piece, walking in the sand towards the ocean made me think, hey, I can do it! So I pushed forward as the anxiety within me grew. Once we were at the ocean line, I wanted to cry but I kept telling myself that I can do this. Seeing Alysse having fun in the ocean helped me so much in pushing forward.
The ocean kept rolling in and I kept thinking, oh gosh, please don't let me fall in. And it was then in that moment, Alysse showed up at my side. As we took pics together, I started to feel better, even laughing!
Photographer Rob Eves and his wife, stylist Kat Eves of Style Ethic were also amazing. Supportive and kind, they both directed me in a way that made me feel safe, confident and strong.
If you're in the LA area and looking to work with a photographer/stylist duo (or one or the other), you should definitely contact them. They both are body positive and believe in beauty in all sizes.
It also helped that I was wearing a swimsuit that fit me well. I needed a top that provided the girls with nice support and a bottom that had a skirt where I didn't show off too much. For me, modesty is a factor as I am careful with how much skin I show publicly because of my nieces and my mom.
This Longline Bikini Top from Lane Bryant has a built-in balconette bra and when I put it on, not only was I in love with the pretty marble print, but the support was amazing. It was so amazing in fact, that I ended up wearing it as a bra later that night on my flight to San Francisco, under my top. For reference, I am wearing a 46DD.
I think what I was most proud of myself during that shoot on the beach was that I didn't let anything stop me from finishing it up and doing so with a smile on my face. There were so many things going on around us that could have stopped me from standing there in my swimsuit on the beach. There was a thin model shooting on the beach near us in a two-piece. An audience grew on the pier as we continued shooting with people staring at us. People on the beach looked and stared.
Surprisingly, it didn't bother me because I didn't let it. And I was surprised at myself because this was new to me... that feeling of not caring what people were doing or thinking. Sure, I am confident but this was me in a two-piece swimsuit! It felt like I had come full circle in how I choose to let what others think of me, affect how I feel about myself.
When I asked Alysse to tell me how she felt that day in a quote for this post, she said:
"I knew going into this shoot with Marcy that swimwear was new to her and I was excited and honored to have the opportunity to share this moment with her. There's a lot of emotions that get tied to plus size swimwear. As fat women, society makes it quite clear that our bodies aren't 'bikini bodies'. Overcoming these past messages about my body and finally just putting on a bikini was a huge step in my own self love journey. It's a big middle finger to everyone who tries to police plus bodies. As Marcy and I stood on that beach, onlookers stared down on us from the pier. There was a straight size model shooting a bikini in the same exact spot. All of that could have scared Marcy away. It could have made her say, maybe next time but she didn't. On that beach, she embodied her blog name and she was truly fearless. I was in awe."
WOW! I'm telling you, when women empower and support each other, magical things can happen. And this day was indeed magical.
For some plus size women, it's easy for them to put on a bikini and go. And I applaud them for that. But for those who have a harder time, I see you and just know that it's okay to feel that way, as long as you don't let that stop you from living your best life. That day, I decided to live my best life and I hope that inspires you to do the same.
#ThisBody is made to live fully!
Special thanks to Rob and Kat Eves for documenting our magical moments on the beach on film and making us feel safe and supported throughout the process. Click here to see more of Rob's work and to contact him directly.
And special thanks to Alysse for being a great friend who supports me 100%. As plus size bloggers, it is so important for us to support one another and empower each other to be the best we can be in this industry and community.
You can shop my look below:
Drawstring Swim Skirt, Sizes 16 - 28
Knit Open-Front Cover Up, Sizes 14/16 - 26/28
You can shop Alysse's look below:
Eyelet Stripe Off-the-Shoulder Bikini Top, Sizes 36 - 46, cups C - G
Eyelet Strip Mid-Waist Swim Brief, Sizes 14 - 28
Cover Up with Fringe Hem, Sizes 14/20 and 22/28
Stay tuned to our blogs for more of our California adventures! And don't forget to follow us on Instagram and Facebook to see even more photos. @readytostare @fearlesslyjustme
Click here to read about Alysse's beach experience and see what she wore from Lane Bryant.
*This post is in collaboration with Lane Bryant but all thoughts and opinions are my own. This post also contains some affiliate links and I'll earn a small commission if you shop through them. This is one of the ways I can continue to bring you inspiring content. Thank you!
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