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“Let today be the day you love yourself enough to no longer just dream of a better life; let it be the day you act upon it.” ~ Steve Maraboli
Houndstooth dress and shrug: Lane Bryant
Gladiator sandals: Evans
Pearl earrings: Betsey Johnson
“I am powerful in my love for myself. The truth of my being is I love myself exactly as I am. I honor my empowered heart.” ~ Amy Leigh Mercree
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I love dresses and prints. And one of my favorite prints is houndstooth. I don't know why but something about houndstooth grabs me and I just love it. I love how it has been translated into more than just a black and white print. I have seen it fused with animal print, polka dots, vibrant colors and even paired with faux leather, which gives it an edge that I love.
Who knew a little houndstooth dress could change my life? Well, it did.
Recently, I was asked to host an event for plus size fashion retailer Lane Bryant. They were holding events in various stores, celebrating teachers and offering them a discount in-store. I was so excited because (1) I have never been asked to host anything before and (2) I was asked to host the event happening at Lane Bryant's flagship store in NYC. So this was a pretty big deal to me.
Of course, I had to wear Lane Bryant to the event so off I went to shop for an outfit. And in that dressing room, to my surprise, I stepped out of my comfort zone. All thanks to houndstooth.
See, I never wear dresses that are above the knee. We all have parts of our body we don't like very much and for me, it's my legs. I love dresses but I always do below the knee or mid-calf lengths. I envy those plus size women who can rock a mini skirt or body con knee length skirt. Their legs are smooth, roll-free and look great. No varicose veins or swollen ankles. I would love to know what they do to achieve this. I walk a lot and am active. But my legs, while they have gotten me all around the world, were not pretty in my eyes.
But what I learned in that dressing room is that sometimes we get in our own head and make the situation bigger than it is. We tend to notice things that others don't. We become our own worst enemy and critic. And I realized I was being ridiculous.
I tried on this dress first:
**6th & Lane Belted Lace Dress can be found here. I'm 5'7" and I'm wearing a size 26.**
This was out of my comfort zone because it was knee-length AND sleeveless. OH BOY, I thought the store was going to cave in. Let's not even talk about my battle with loving my upper arms, which I call my wings.
So I text this picture to a few friends and all of them said I looked great. Hmmm...these are friends who will let me know if I look a hot mess or not. So I was surprised that they all agreed.
Then I tried on the houndstooth dress. This dress was hidden on a rack and I saw a sliver of it as I glanced at the rack. As I pulled it out from the rack, I fell in love with it until... I saw it was knee length. Just as I was putting it back, something told me to try it on anyway.
I actually had a conversation with myself in the dressing room because I LOVED how it looked on me and I felt comfortable. But, um, my legs are showing!!! I had to tell myself that if I loved it, I had to go for it. Isn't that what being fearless is all about? So I bought it and wore it to the event. I also bought the first dress, too!
Gladiator sandals: Evans
Pearl earrings: Betsey Johnson
Now I did wear a shrug... baby steps, people. And my best friend told me he is tired of my "grandma" shrug. So that is my next project. Going sleeveless.
I believe everything happens for a reason. The hosting opportunity from Lane Bryant allowed me to be visible and step out from behind the laptop and it also allowed me to step out of my comfort zone. I would have never ended up in that dressing room and in that houndstooth dress if it weren't for this hosting gig. So thank you, Lane Bryant!
My legs are a part of me. And if I am on this quest to fully love myself, that means loving my flaws, too. When we don't love ourselves fully, we hinder ourselves from our full potential.
To think, this whole time, I could have been rocking so many fabulous dresses that I passed on by because of the length. And my legs have done so much for me in my life. They take me places I have never seen. They make it possible for me to see the world.
I'm a work in progress but all of these baby steps out of my comfort zone are making me feel so powerful and centered in who I am. And it was all due to a little houndstooth dress.
Added bonus: I had a date who picked me up after the event for dinner. He took one look at me and said "WOW, you look beautiful! And you have amazing legs." Well, alrighty then!
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Please check out what my fellow Ahead of the Curve Bloggers have to say about houndstooth, tweed and plaid this month by clicking HERE.
We are a plus size blogging collective that comes together once a month to post on a fashion theme. Stay in the know with Ahead of the Curve by liking us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram as Ahead_of_the_Curve_Bloggers.
On this crazy, adventurous, fearless road of fashion I am on, I am discovering all sorts of new things about myself. I'd like to think I am open-minded when it comes to fashion but I have realized that old habits die hard. We don't realize it when we are younger but the rules we are told as we are growing up become ingrained in our minds to the point where I personally feel like I was unintentionally brainwashed.
My mom is pretty out there when it comes to her style and I LOVE it. She still wears a red lip at 66, stays dripped in gold jewelry and loves her animal print. But she is obsessed with black because of that old fashion rule that black makes you look slimmer. Now that is true but I don't want to be stuck in a "black" rut because I am a big girl.
I have learned that you can look slimmer in other colors. Colors are not what make you look larger than you are. I personally think it's the fit of your clothes, down to the length and silhouettes you choose that affects your "look". But you have to choose what you feel comfortable in. Some girls don't mind showing their lumps and rolls and I say to that YOU GO GIRL. At the end of the day, I want to wear what I want to wear and not feel like I have to wear a certain color simply because it slims me. I don't want to be limited in fashion and no one should be.
But for some reason, I still shied away from color. Which is weird considering my love for prints. Anyway, I took a chance and ordered this blue dress from eShakti, a retailer I love because not only do they offer sizes 0 - 36W but they also offer a custom option, which I almost always go for. My bust is about 10 inches smaller than my hips, I have large upper arms, a belly and a small waist that's about 5 inches smaller than my bust so being able to customize a garment is a dream come true. You can even customize the length, the sleeves and remove the pockets. Yes, their dresses have pockets!
I call myself a freak of nature because my measurements are wacky. I also have large calves but smaller ankles and small hands but large wrists. It's strange but I digress...
I received the dress and initially thought it would not look good on me at all because of the color. But once I put it on, I fell in love with it. And after seeing my pictures of me wearing it, I fell in love even more. Blue turned out to be my color, after all...
I also found another blogger who wrote about this dress and I loved her take on it. She wore her dress with bright pink shoes! LOVE! You can see that here.
Side note: I also think my red hair with blond highlights goes well with the blue. It always amazes me how different hair colors also play a part in what colors look best on me. I change up my hair color often so for me, it's a fun way to experiment with wearing different colors and it pushes me out of my fashion box when it comes to trying new pieces. It keeps me out of that fashion "black" hole.
This dress is a keeper and I am still amazed at the fact that I thought blue wasn't "my" color.
My mom is pretty out there when it comes to her style and I LOVE it. She still wears a red lip at 66, stays dripped in gold jewelry and loves her animal print. But she is obsessed with black because of that old fashion rule that black makes you look slimmer. Now that is true but I don't want to be stuck in a "black" rut because I am a big girl.
I have learned that you can look slimmer in other colors. Colors are not what make you look larger than you are. I personally think it's the fit of your clothes, down to the length and silhouettes you choose that affects your "look". But you have to choose what you feel comfortable in. Some girls don't mind showing their lumps and rolls and I say to that YOU GO GIRL. At the end of the day, I want to wear what I want to wear and not feel like I have to wear a certain color simply because it slims me. I don't want to be limited in fashion and no one should be.
But for some reason, I still shied away from color. Which is weird considering my love for prints. Anyway, I took a chance and ordered this blue dress from eShakti, a retailer I love because not only do they offer sizes 0 - 36W but they also offer a custom option, which I almost always go for. My bust is about 10 inches smaller than my hips, I have large upper arms, a belly and a small waist that's about 5 inches smaller than my bust so being able to customize a garment is a dream come true. You can even customize the length, the sleeves and remove the pockets. Yes, their dresses have pockets!
I call myself a freak of nature because my measurements are wacky. I also have large calves but smaller ankles and small hands but large wrists. It's strange but I digress...
I received the dress and initially thought it would not look good on me at all because of the color. But once I put it on, I fell in love with it. And after seeing my pictures of me wearing it, I fell in love even more. Blue turned out to be my color, after all...
Shoes: Lane Bryant (no longer available), similar one from 6pm.com here.
I also found another blogger who wrote about this dress and I loved her take on it. She wore her dress with bright pink shoes! LOVE! You can see that here.
Side note: I also think my red hair with blond highlights goes well with the blue. It always amazes me how different hair colors also play a part in what colors look best on me. I change up my hair color often so for me, it's a fun way to experiment with wearing different colors and it pushes me out of my fashion box when it comes to trying new pieces. It keeps me out of that fashion "black" hole.
This dress is a keeper and I am still amazed at the fact that I thought blue wasn't "my" color.
Finding My Inner Fashionista: Rediscovering Myself in Fashion and Body Acceptance
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
As someone who is in the plus size fashion industry, I have to admit that it has been a challenge to truly be myself fashion-wise. I say this, because this industry can be intimidating if you are not ready for it and it's so easy to feel inadequate and compare yourself to other bloggers and people in the industry. You have to have a thick skin and be confident in what you do. Not many will admit this but I have no problem going there because like I have said many times, my main focus is always to keep it real with myself and others.
I'm surrounded by beautiful models, a boss who always looks glam even on an off day, stylists and plus size fashion bloggers who walk to the corner store, looking like they are going to a Vogue cover shoot.
Now with my job (Blog Editor for The PLUS Model Magazine blog), I am mostly behind the scenes and rarely seen. I'm a writer and most times, writers are people who create wonderful stories and are mostly known by their name being shown as the author of an article or piece and a small avatar where only your head is shown. And sometimes, that's not a bad thing, lol.
But when I am seen at events, I tend to freak out because I just don't know what to wear. And that throws me off because I feel like I can't wear what I want to wear because my style is not considered on the level of a "fashionista".
Most in the industry have a stereotypical view on what a fashionista is and there are many who fit this image so this stereotype is accepted with no question. And let's not get started on the fact that bloggers that are above a size 24 are a minority and rarely seen in major campaigns in magazines, retailer websites and etc. So here I am, a size 26 and I don't walk around looking flawless, wearing crop tops and mini skirts, carrying a Chanel bag and having someone professionally take my pictures daily. I don't have a personal hairstylist or makeup artist either.
This has made me ask myself out loud many times...what about the rest of us? Those of us every day women who are living normal lives, on our hustle mode daily and don't have the income to even look at a Chanel bag because we have bills to pay and others to take care of. Those of us with 9-5 jobs, who grind daily. Those of us whose style does not match the imposed idea of what a "fashionista" should look like.
I happen to love sneakers, especially high tops. retro ones, girly ones and printed ones. I'm not a heels girl at all. I love to wear jeans when I can find a pair that actually fits. I love graphic tees, cardigans, leopard print, boots, moto jackets...hell, any jacket. I just love jackets. I love statement coats (when I can find them in my size). I love exposed zippers, crazy prints, long tunics and crossbody bags. I hate feeling uncomfortable and bulky. I'm a traveler and like to be able to glide around the world without too much baggage. I don't like wearing necklaces too much but I love Betsey Johnson earrings, pearls, hoop earrings and silver bangle bracelets. I love dresses especially print ones. I love to dress up sometimes and be very girly but prefer to be dressed casually with an edge on a daily basis. And I don't see anyone my size that dresses like me out there in the industry. I used to think that was a bad thing but now, not so much.
I have learned that it's okay to be different. It's great to look to others for inspiration but you have to stay true to yourself in everything, not just fashion. Because I have learned that people can see when you're uncomfortable, not feeling 100% confident, feeling inadequate or trying to be something you're not. You may think you conceal it well but honestly, it always shows. Body language says a lot about a person. And life is too short to not feel comfortable in your own skin and wear what you love.
I don't aspire to fit someone else's idea of what a fashionista is. I aspire to break the rules and be me, which means being my own version of a fashionista. I believe we all are fashionistas in our own right - if you know your style and live it/breathe it, you are a fashionista. Fashion is about expressing yourself with your style. It's about making a statement about who you are with what you wear. It's another way for us to have our voices heard.
As a plus size woman, every time I step out of the house, I am an activist. By living in a body that society tells me is unhealthy, ugly and disgusting, and daring to go outside and live my every day life, I am giving society the middle finger. Add dressing nice to that or wanting to be fashionable and wear what you want to wear, and you truly become a walking billboard for body acceptance. Whenever a plus size woman does something that goes against what stereotypes have been set by society, we are being activists. It's not just fashion. It's being active, eating healthy, traveling...shit, having fun. Some people think that if you're fat, you're miserable. How could you possibly be happy in a big body? Trust, you can. I didn't choose to be an activist but honestly, I'm all for breaking rules and proving to the world that I can do anything I set my mind to. I'm all for the Big Girl Revolution and fully support it.
My days of feeling inadequate are over. I used to feel some kind of way of always being overlooked in this industry because of my size and my style. But, a dear friend said to me once, "You're here because you're meant to be here." And I tell myself that every time I walk into a room or an event. Not everyone will like me and believe me, the blogger world can be clique-ish but I don't need to be a part of a clique nor do I need to try hard to be accepted. I'm here because I am meant to be here.
I may not get chosen to be in a campaign alongside other bloggers, I may not get invited to every event and I may not be as visible as others in this industry. It is what it is. But what counts is that I am comfortable with who I am and am embracing my style, despite being told by the masses that my style is not fashionable. No one's opinion matters except for my own.
And I have learned that even when you think no one notices you, someone is always watching. :-)
Blazer: Lane Bryant, Top: Evans Jeans: Avenue, Shoes: Payless |
Now with my job (Blog Editor for The PLUS Model Magazine blog), I am mostly behind the scenes and rarely seen. I'm a writer and most times, writers are people who create wonderful stories and are mostly known by their name being shown as the author of an article or piece and a small avatar where only your head is shown. And sometimes, that's not a bad thing, lol.
But when I am seen at events, I tend to freak out because I just don't know what to wear. And that throws me off because I feel like I can't wear what I want to wear because my style is not considered on the level of a "fashionista".
Most in the industry have a stereotypical view on what a fashionista is and there are many who fit this image so this stereotype is accepted with no question. And let's not get started on the fact that bloggers that are above a size 24 are a minority and rarely seen in major campaigns in magazines, retailer websites and etc. So here I am, a size 26 and I don't walk around looking flawless, wearing crop tops and mini skirts, carrying a Chanel bag and having someone professionally take my pictures daily. I don't have a personal hairstylist or makeup artist either.
Dress: Torrid, Cardi: Lane Bryant, Boots: OneStopPlus, Leggings: Eloquii, Bag: Evans |
I happen to love sneakers, especially high tops. retro ones, girly ones and printed ones. I'm not a heels girl at all. I love to wear jeans when I can find a pair that actually fits. I love graphic tees, cardigans, leopard print, boots, moto jackets...hell, any jacket. I just love jackets. I love statement coats (when I can find them in my size). I love exposed zippers, crazy prints, long tunics and crossbody bags. I hate feeling uncomfortable and bulky. I'm a traveler and like to be able to glide around the world without too much baggage. I don't like wearing necklaces too much but I love Betsey Johnson earrings, pearls, hoop earrings and silver bangle bracelets. I love dresses especially print ones. I love to dress up sometimes and be very girly but prefer to be dressed casually with an edge on a daily basis. And I don't see anyone my size that dresses like me out there in the industry. I used to think that was a bad thing but now, not so much.
Maxi dress: Ashley Stewart |
I don't aspire to fit someone else's idea of what a fashionista is. I aspire to break the rules and be me, which means being my own version of a fashionista. I believe we all are fashionistas in our own right - if you know your style and live it/breathe it, you are a fashionista. Fashion is about expressing yourself with your style. It's about making a statement about who you are with what you wear. It's another way for us to have our voices heard.
Dress, Leggings & Blazer: Fashion to Figure |
My days of feeling inadequate are over. I used to feel some kind of way of always being overlooked in this industry because of my size and my style. But, a dear friend said to me once, "You're here because you're meant to be here." And I tell myself that every time I walk into a room or an event. Not everyone will like me and believe me, the blogger world can be clique-ish but I don't need to be a part of a clique nor do I need to try hard to be accepted. I'm here because I am meant to be here.
I may not get chosen to be in a campaign alongside other bloggers, I may not get invited to every event and I may not be as visible as others in this industry. It is what it is. But what counts is that I am comfortable with who I am and am embracing my style, despite being told by the masses that my style is not fashionable. No one's opinion matters except for my own.
And I have learned that even when you think no one notices you, someone is always watching. :-)
"Thick Chick" necklace: Candy Strike (one of the few necklaces I love), Jacket and dress: OneStopPlus |
I swear, 2014 has been the year of the EX.
But it depends on the situation. I have some exes where I "used" to think the breakup wasn't bad enough for a cut-off. But after this year, I have come to realize that I was discounting myself by letting those men back into my life. When you know your worth and keep it real with yourself, the honest truth may hurt but shit, it will help you to make yourself a better person. And that's all most of us want, right?
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