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"I love the idea of embracing your curves and loving yourself while expressing it through fashion." ~ Hayley Hasselhoff
I always say that if I can't wear an item three ways, it has no room in my closet. I hate to be one of those people who wears something once and then tosses it. I choose pieces I love and when I love them, I want to wear them over and over again. Sometimes keeping it fresh is shopping your own closet and creating new looks on your own. And you'll save some money and closet space in the process.
So on the blog in 2016, I will be talking to what I call my "three-way style" and showing you how you can take one item in your closet and wear it three (or more) ways. I follow trends, don't get me wrong. But I also like what I like and at the end of the day, I'm going to wear what I love, trend or not.
A great "three-way style" staple for me is a pair of jeans. A nice jean with some kind of detail can really go well with anything and it's not just another pair of basic jeans. My latest favorite pair of jeans are these Distressed Dazzle Jeans from Catherines.
For reference, I'm usually a size 26 but had to size up to a 28 in these. There's stretch but not 100%. However, once they're on, they fit like a second skin and are comfortable.
I love the little dazzle/distressed details and of course, they're black. I don't care what anyone says -- black jeans are a must for me. They're chic and can be dressed up or down. And these black jeans inspired me to serve some New Yorker All-Black style - all black doesn't have to be boring.
So here's look #1:
I paired the jeans with the Suprema Long-Sleeve Mesh-Trim Tee in black, the Luxe Reversible Vest and the Circle Stud Heel all from Catherines. I added the Entangle necklace from Catherines and an embellished clutch.
Why I love this look: It appears as if I'm wearing a jacket and the heels give the look a chic touch. This is a comfy and effortless look that was so easy to put together. This vest has become one of my favorite pieces. It's soft, comfortable and looks fabulous on. It's definitely a three-style piece too!
Look #2:
So I switched out the vest for the Goldtone Meteor Shower Wrap from Catherines that I cinched with the Smooth Obi Belt from Lane Bryant.
Why I love this look: A wrap can be the focal point of your outfit, pulling together basic pieces to create a polished, chic look. The belt shows off my waist and helps the wrap look like a jacket, keeping it closed and defined in shape.
Look #3:
I paired the jeans with this Fringed Tee from Lane Bryant, the Aiden D'Orsay Flats from Banana Republic and a simple black purse with a gold chain strap. I finished my look with a gold statement necklace from Banana Republic (sold out but similar here).
I tend to branch out into straight size stores when it comes to shoes and accessories. I have wide feet but sometimes I fit into regular width shoes. It's all about taking the time to try them on. Banana Republic, NY & Company and Ann Taylor are some of my favorite straight size stores to get shoes and accessories at.
I will admit that Lane Bryant has been a hit or miss for me lately so I'm happy I found a fringe piece that fits me well. This fringe tee does not have much stretch but I was able to fit into a size 26/28 with no problem.
Why I love this look: I am loving the fringe styles this season and this is a piece I can wear season to season and it will never go out of style. It's classic yet trendy (I know that does not make any sense but I'm sure you get it, lol). The camo adds some color and flats are always a great idea.
Wearing all black just gives me this extra "umph" of confidence. I don't know why but black is such a dark, powerful color so maybe that's it? I just know that these jeans will be experiencing a four-way style, five-way style and so on. I'm in love!
Please note: While this is a sponsored post, all opinions are my own.
"As long as I am breathing, in my eyes, I am just beginning." ~ Criss Jami
New Year's Eve... many of us think of it as a time for new beginnings. A do-over.
I look at New Year's as a day of reflection. I usually treat my birthday as my real "New Year's" so at this point, it's a great time to reassess where I am in life and keep pushing forward. We never stop evolving and as long as you're alive, you can always create a new beginning for yourself.
New Year's Eve also gives me a great excuse to dress up, drink some champagne and reminisce about the good times while looking forward to what's to come. It's all about enjoying that very moment and remaining hopeful for the future.
Back to the dressing up part, I have been wanting to wear a tulle skirt for a long time. But I'll be honest and say that I haven't seen one I truly love. So when planning my outfit for this third installment of our #CurvasenNYC New Year's Eve holiday fashion collaboration, I wanted something fun and bold. And I found it in the form of a red tulle skirt, which I fell in love with at first sight. Yes!
Dana of Who's That Girl Dana?, Darlene of Suits, Heels & Curves and I decided to show our versions of glitz and glam as dictated by our individual styles. We partnered with plus size fashion brand Torrid for this third and final collaboration, showcasing our New Year's Eve party looks.
As you can see, I opted for fun and sparkly whereas Darlene went for a glam and modern black look with a touch of fur and Dana went for a beautiful, "Old Hollywood" look in blue. I love how we all complement each other and are ready to hit some parties and dance the night away.
I paired this red Tulle Mesh Midi Skirt from Torrid with the Makeup Face Tee from their new Torrid Insider collection and the Sequin Open Front Jacket, which I love so much as well. I have been trying many sequin pieces this season and this is the first one I am keeping. The sequins are not heavy or like weapons (you don't even want to know) and the jacket is ponte so there's stretch and it's comfy. I finished off my look with the Phone Clutch Bag and gold flats (my own).
I had so much fun in this outfit that I couldn't stop smiling and laughing. That's when you know you have found the perfect outfit. It's not about just looking fierce but more about how happy it makes you feel. You can look dope but be uncomfortable and that shows.
Honestly, this whole look is comfy and easy to move around in. So I can get my dance on as I wait for midnight and feel amazing while doing so.
Shop my look from Torrid:
Be sure to check out Dana's and Darlene's New Year's Eve looks over at their blogs:
Who's That Girl Dana? - www.whosthatgirl524.wordpress.com
Suits, Heels & Curves - www.suitsheelsandcurves.com
If you missed any of our previous installments of our #CurvasenNYC holiday fashion series, you can find them below:
You can also see what we are up to this holiday season by finding us on social media via the hashtag: #CurvasenNYC
What do you plan to wear for New Year's Eve?
**While this was a sponsored post, all opinions and comments stated are my own.
"Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love." ~ Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
This year I started putting myself out there on the dating scene after taking a break to take care of myself during my grieving. And let me tell you, dating is not easy, especially when you're looking for a relationship after 40.
This is me on a daily basis when it comes to dating |
I've been single for about two years and decided I was ready to jump back into the dating pool. I started putting myself out there more and decided that this time I would do things differently.
I have spent years, one failed relationship after another, not really knowing why things never ended well. And after losing my dad and brother and going into therapy for bereavement counseling, I actually learned more than I thought I would.
I became more self-aware and more accountable for my choices in life. I realized that I wanted love so badly that I settled. And I stayed with men that I should have left as soon as I saw the first red flag. From cheating to being stood up all the time to even owing me money, these are the men I ALLOWED into my life. And if my ex is reading this, I still want my $150 back. I'm still working on letting that go because I know I will never see that money.
Sure, they were jerks BUT I chose to be with them. And we NEVER have to be with someone who doesn't treat us as we want to be treated. I learned that I always have a choice. Making those choices may not seem easy but when you get to a point in your life where you know you're worthy of a great partner and deserve that, choosing who you want to be with becomes very easy.
When you're secure with yourself and are not trying to be with someone just because you're lonely or afraid of being alone for life, you make better choices in who you choose to be with. Because you will not stand or settle for any less.
I'm fine with being alone. I don't NEED to be with someone. However, I WANT to be with someone. I want to share my life with someone. I even still have hope I will have a biological child. Some people think I am crazy since I am 45 but I believe anything is possible. I do plan to adopt as well but having my own child has been a dream in my heart since I was a teenager.
I always thought I'd be married with a couple of kids by now. And for a very long time, as the years sped by, I started to feel like a failure. My dad never got to walk me down the aisle or see his future grandchildren. And I sometimes feel like I am the only one who is single in my world.
But in therapy, I learned that acceptance is key. Everything happens for a reason. I've had a pretty good life despite the failed relationships and no husband and kids. I've traveled the world. I've seen amazing things. Honestly, I look back and know I could not do a fraction of those things if I was married with kids. This I know now and I had to be honest with myself. We don't always stay on the path we start on and we have to go with the flow and just remain hopeful.
I went back on the online dating scene six months ago and it's been okay. I've met some nice guys and some not so nice guys. However, instead of meeting my soulmate, I instead continue to learn more about myself and how I deal with men. I've learned that sometimes being too honest upfront is a bit much for men. I also learned that words mean nothing when it comes to actions. Someone can tell you everything you want to hear but if they don't make time for you or show interest, they are not interested.
I put a lot of value into words and sought that validation that comes from words. Sure, it's nice to hear how beautiful you are or how much someone is into you, but I realized that I was hearing more words than seeing actions. And after a while, words are not enough. You want to see action and thoughtful gestures, which if a person is really into you, no gesture is too grand.
I learned to not stand still and give too much of my time away when a guy is not interested. Just because I like him does not guarantee that he will like me back. And I have to accept that. Me getting frustrated or feeling hurt over a guy not being interested is a waste of negative energy. I just accept it and move on. No hard feelings. It just wasn't meant to be.
That was a MAJOR change for me because I was that girl that would be so frustrated and upset when a guy I liked didn't like me back. And I spent a lot of time in my feelings, having a pity party and refusing to accept it. Meanwhile, he has moved on to the next girl who he does like.
Sure, I've been disappointed but it's beyond my control so all I can do is put myself first and keep it moving. Rejection is part of life. At least I gave it a chance to see what would happen.
I also learned that I don't need to try too hard or chase a guy or even jump through hoops to prove myself to him. All I have to be is myself, because I think I'm pretty awesome, lol. And know my worth enough to know that I am a good woman and any man would be lucky to have me. The right man will see me and accept me for who I am.
I recently met someone who I think is amazing - not perfect but such a nice guy. Who knows what will happen? What I do know is that my life goes on no matter what. Life never stands still so I won't. I will still enjoy all the moments I can, whether I am single or not. Because we never know when it's our time to go so I don't want to waste or lose a single minute. It's like what Mandy said in the above quote... I will never put my life on hold to wait on love. Hell no.
All I want is to be loved by a good man who's honest, loyal, funny, humble and romantic, preferably in the tri-state area (lol). Now I have other attributes I look for but at the same time, I have come to accept that I will never find the perfect man. But if I can find someone who has most of the qualities I am looking for, that's good enough for me.
So for now, I will put myself out there, hitting my favorite spots, traveling, interacting with the world and still checking out my options online. We'll see what happens. I have a feeling my Mr Right will show up when I least expect it. I just hope my hair looks good when that happens.
"Anyone can get dressed up and glamorous, but it is how people dress in their days off that are the most intriguing." ~ Alexander Wang
So in this second part of our #CurvasenNYC collaboration, Dana of Who's That Girl Dana?, Darlene of Suits, Heels & Curves and I have partnered with plus size fashion brand Avenue to show off our favorite cozy casual holiday styles, featuring 'not so ugly' Christmas sweaters! YAY!
Me with Darlene (middle) and Dana (right) |
If you missed the first part of our fashion series, you can click here to check out our Holiday Dresses installment, featuring looks from Fashion to Figure.
As I mentioned before, this collaboration is so important to us that we show plus size women out there that style knows no size. We're three different sizes, shapes and heights. Not to mention, we're all fierce and fabulous Latinas living in the big city.
I'm so happy that we included Avenue in this series because honestly, for me, I feel like Avenue doesn't get as much love as the more trendier brands out there. And Avenue has been around WAY before these other brands came on the scene.
Avenue was personally my saving grace back in the 80's and 90's, when a girl needed some plus size fashion in her life and some basics like jeans, bras and underwear. So, yeah, I'm an 'OG' Avenue customer, lol.
Avenue was personally my saving grace back in the 80's and 90's, when a girl needed some plus size fashion in her life and some basics like jeans, bras and underwear. So, yeah, I'm an 'OG' Avenue customer, lol.
Even now, the brand continues to deliver when it comes to denim, outerwear, wide width/calf boots, basics and even, special occasion styles. Best part of it all, they offer up to a size 30/32. In a time when many brands stop at a size 24 / 3X, that means the world to women like me above a size 24.
We decided to head to the Parkchester section of the Bronx, where there was a Holiday scene up, including a little red house dubbed The North Pole and Santa Claus sitting inside the house. I know I said last time that I am a grinch during the holidays but dammit, I have to admit... I am a sucker for Santa and never miss an opportunity to talk to the man. I'm a grown adult and still act like I'm 8 when I see him. Even though I had to tell him that I was not trying to sit on his lap - that's where I draw the line.
The Christmas sweaters that Avenue is offering this year are awesome. And it allowed all three of us to choose a sweater that reflects our personality and humor.
For me, since I am the selfie queen, of course, I chose the 'sELFie' pullover sweater.
I love that it has some sparkle in the fabric and it's a decent fabric weight as well. It fits me true to size (I'm wearing a 26/28) and while the length is a little short for me, I can deal.
I'm probably going to wear this sweater A LOT this month - real talk. I love it that much! And I had so much fun that day - I'm really enjoying this mild winter weather we are currently experiencing in NYC as well as the holiday season at the moment. So I am going to ride this festive wave for as long as it lasts!
Shop my look from Avenue:
Be sure to check out Dana's #naughty sweater look and Darlene's fun Oh Deer! sweater look over at their blogs:
Who's That Girl Dana? - www.whosthatgirl524.wordpress.com
Suits, Heels & Curves - www.suitsheelsandcurves.com
Stay tuned for our final installment in our #CurvasenNYC holiday fashion series launching on Friday and featuring New Year's Eve party looks from another one of our favorite retailers that will be revealed later.
You can also see what we are up to this holiday season by finding us on social media via the hashtag: #CurvasenNYC
What are your some of your favorite cozy holiday looks?
**While this was a sponsored post, all opinions and comments stated are my own.
I love that it has some sparkle in the fabric and it's a decent fabric weight as well. It fits me true to size (I'm wearing a 26/28) and while the length is a little short for me, I can deal.
I'm probably going to wear this sweater A LOT this month - real talk. I love it that much! And I had so much fun that day - I'm really enjoying this mild winter weather we are currently experiencing in NYC as well as the holiday season at the moment. So I am going to ride this festive wave for as long as it lasts!
Shop my look from Avenue:
- Selfie Pullover Sweater
- Virtual Stretch® Legging Jean in Medium Wash
- Faux Leather Trim Trench Coat (SOLD OUT) - Similar here
Be sure to check out Dana's #naughty sweater look and Darlene's fun Oh Deer! sweater look over at their blogs:
Who's That Girl Dana? - www.whosthatgirl524.wordpress.com
Suits, Heels & Curves - www.suitsheelsandcurves.com
Stay tuned for our final installment in our #CurvasenNYC holiday fashion series launching on Friday and featuring New Year's Eve party looks from another one of our favorite retailers that will be revealed later.
You can also see what we are up to this holiday season by finding us on social media via the hashtag: #CurvasenNYC
What are your some of your favorite cozy holiday looks?
**While this was a sponsored post, all opinions and comments stated are my own.
And in my heart, there stirs a quiet pain... ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay
Grief is not the same for everyone. This I know. Some people have strong support systems and some are able to heal with time. Some have had difficult relationships with loved ones that leads them to have conflicting feelings once that loved one is gone. And some, like myself, have had such a profound relationship with a loved one that once they are gone, it feels like you've lost a limb. A part of you is forever gone. Grief is something that not everyone likes to talk about. This I know too.
In the last four years where I have lost both my dad and brother, it has been the best and worst times of my life. And I feel like I'm on a constant rollercoaster ride that won't stop. When I'm at a high, it's amazing. I'm productive, empowered, driven and happy. I want to conquer the world, go on adventures and just live and be free.
When I'm at a low, it's horrible. I'm sad, depressed, don't want to get out of bed and sometimes spend days in the house, not wanting to leave my safe haven. I feel like a shadow of my former self and all I can do is weep. The pain in my heart cannot be ignored.
Image: http://avenuescounselingcenter.org/grief-hangover/ |
During the holiday season, it's especially hard for those of us who have lost a loved one. I have so many fond memories of my dad and brother this time of the year. When I looked at my brother with his daughters, I saw my dad's reflection of how he was with us growing up. You can see that love and admiration a father has for his children (in my experience). That unwavering, unconditional love that drives you to make your children happy and see them enjoy life's moments. And I don't mean material gifts. I mean, the time spent together, laughing, loving each other and creating memories that will always remain in your heart and mind.
My dad's birthday is November 10 so around late October, my anxiety starts to rise. How will I deal with his birthday and the holidays? This is what I ask myself repeatedly.
And people always ask me the same question, wanting to know how I deal with this pain I carry, especially during the holidays. And I tell them...
It's not easy. But I always remind myself to take it one day at a time. To be kind to myself. Let myself have the moment and move on. It's okay to cry and feel that pain. Because it will pass. You have to allow yourself space to have those moments but also remember to not STAY in those moments.
When I take it one day at a time and give myself a break, I don't feel overwhelmed or like I MUST get over it immediately.
That's the thing, grief does not have a timetable so why would you be hard on yourself to get over it?
Lucky for me, I work from home but sometimes grief attacks my creativity. And that's when working from home is not such a blessing. Being a writer is a gift and a curse. It's an amazing gift when I can sit at my laptop or with a pen in my hand and crank out a story or chapter for a future book in no time. But when I am at my lowest, that gift becomes a curse. I don't want to write. My creativity dissolves into a black hole and I almost feel catatonic.
Image: http://charactertherapist.blogspot.com/2010/10/t3-types-of-grief-part-4.html |
It's by no means easy. As I said before, grief has no timeline. For some people, their grief period is short and they move on quickly. But for others including me, "time does not bring relief", as Edna St. Vincent Millay also said in another poem of hers. It feels like yesterday. My brother's death is still fresh with him only being gone over a year but even four years later, I remember getting that call to inform me of my dad's passing, like it was yesterday.
What I do know and believe is that I'm strong, I'm worthy and I will live fully. I have to. Because that is the best way to honor my dad and my brother.
I have spent four years of highs and lows where I have alienated myself from the world. I have lost friends because they thought it was something personal on their part and didn't realize that it had nothing to do with them. I have lost job opportunities. I have lost time that I cannot get back. So I have promised myself to take it one day at a time and just live. Life is so short and once it's gone, you can't get it back. And even though life can be hard at times, it's yours and it can have wonderful moments. You just have to step out your door and seize the day.
I have a charm on my bracelet that I wear always and it says "Believe". That word has become the sum of my life. As long as I believe in God, myself, in life, in things getting better...basically believing in everything that is possible, it helps me with the pain.
So whenever I hear Nat King Cole's The Christmas Song, which was my dad's favorite holiday song, I don't cry as much as I used to - I instead close my eyes and remember those times when he'd be in the car, singing along with his deep voice and a smile on his face. Some tears fall but I also smile.
If you're out there reading this and understand, just know you are not alone. I am sending all of you positive vibes and virtually holding your hand this holiday season and beyond.
xoxo - Marcy
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