Destiny is a funny thing

Monday, February 13, 2012 New York, NY, USA

About two weeks ago, I was watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy where it was a dream sequence for the lead character Meredith Grey. She was dreaming about how life would be if her mother never got sick with Alzheimer's Disease. The underlying theme and lesson of the episode was destiny and fate: No matter how things change, if they are meant to be, they will happen in the end.

It got me thinking. Many of us spend so much time trying to control our lives, our destiny. This is why many of us end up in a job we hate or in a relationship with someone that we really don't want to be with or even end up living somewhere we really don't like. We settle because we are trying to control the scenario and go for the "sure" thing. We let fear hold us back from truly making a bold choice or decision and just going for it. Funny thing with destiny and fate is, the Universe/God will continue to throw hints your way to push you back on the right path. But we still take detours because of the decisions we make, fueled by lack of trust and fear in the unknown. So it takes many of us longer to get that dream to come to fruition than we would like it to take.

I think we all need to be accountable for the choices we make in life. Many of us place blame on other people, other situations, etc. But honestly, we made the choice. At the end of the day, we have to accept this fact before we can truly move on and make better choices. Learn the lesson and move on.

Almost four years ago, I was working at a job that I loved some aspects of but was not truly happy. I spent 7 years there and was conflicted about leaving because it was a steady income and a "sure" thing. Well, that "sure" thing turned out to not be such a sure thing. I was laid off and I feel like that was when my journey of being reborn again started. The Universe kept throwing opportunities at me but during the first year of being unemployed, I kind of blindly went through life, confused and just "winging" it. I started to travel in hopes that it would give me some clarity. Here I am at the age of 38, starting over.  It was a daunting thing to face.

Year 2, more opportunities were being thrown at me and I started writing and blogging. But still, I was not at my full potential. I kept doubting myself and second-guessing everything. Then in Year 3, my dad died. And in his death, more opportunities were being thrown at me.  I was writing more and even got a position on the production team for Full Figured Fashion Week.  I was figuring out what my "voice" was online in terms of blogging and was close to finding it.  Also, my dream has always been to write a book and become a published author. I have been a writer since I was a kid. I love books and the library is my second home. My gift is to write. But my mind and spirit were so cluttered with everything else that I could not focus on my writing. But the opportunity to write a book presented itself. It was just up to me to start writing.

Here we are, the start of Year 4.  More than ever, I feel like my destiny is to get this book published as well as take this blog to a higher level. I have some opportunities awaiting me - all I have to do is seize them. Grief has been kicking me in the ass but I cannot ignore my destiny. I have to make the right choices this time. I have to be bold and fearless. That is what life is all about. It all starts with the first chapter. Which I have written. And I push myself to write a little everyday.  I'm now on Chapter 5.

I think back to the advice my step-mom gave me after my dad died. She said "You have to do the best you can with what you have, one day at a time." Best advice ever. So I share with all of you...if you keep being detoured on your path to your destiny:

1. Take a look at the choices you are making and why you are making them.
2. Be accountable for those choices - stop playing the blame game.
3. Make a list of things you want to accomplish. No desire or dream is too small or crazy.
4. Take one goal at a time and make a plan.
5. Lastly, be bold enough to take a chance and make a choice that may not seem like a "sure" thing. Listen to that inner of voice, your intuition. She knows best.
6. Just take it one day at a time. If things don't go your way today, no worries. You will get a do-over tomorrow, God-willing. Just like my step-mom said, do the best that you can with what you have, one day at a time.

I started this blog with the intention of sharing my life with all of you in an effort to inspire someone, anyone. I'm certainly not perfect but I am willing to make myself better, one day at a time. I am willing to share my lessons along the way with all of you. That is part of my destiny and how I can truly put my gift of writing to use. It took 4 years but I think I am finally on the right path. Now to keep going and follow through with it all...that's quite another feat and story.

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