"I am recognizing that the voice inside my head is urging me to be myself but never follow someone else." ~ Q-Tip, "Steve Biko (Stir it Up)" 

"You gotta have the mindstate like: 'I'm so great,' and can't nobody do it like you do. Miraculous, phenomenal and ain't nobody in here stopping you." ~ Remy Ma, "Conceited"

"Women who support other women are confident, generous visionaries." ~ Mariela Dabbah

Veronica and I

"Hey, that's your body. You have to own it all. Those parts you don't like aren't going to disappear in a split second." 

• Chevron Stripe Maxi from Catherines
• Cropped Jacket not available online (I found it in-store) - but you can shop shrugs and cardis here
• Patent Flat in Vivid Pink from Lane Bryant
• Geo-Deco Pendant Necklace from Catherines
• Bag and earrings were borrowed from a friend

As someone who is in the plus size fashion industry, I have to admit that it has been a challenge to truly be myself fashion-wise. I say this, because this industry can be intimidating if you are not ready for it and it's so easy to feel inadequate and compare yourself to other bloggers and people in the industry. You have to have a thick skin and be confident in what you do. Not many will admit this but I have no problem going there because like I have said many times, my main focus is always to keep it real with myself and others.

Blazer: Lane Bryant, Top: Evans Jeans: Avenue, Shoes: Payless

I'm surrounded by beautiful models, a boss who always looks glam even on an off day, stylists and plus size fashion bloggers who walk to the corner store, looking like they are going to a Vogue cover shoot.

Now with my job (Blog Editor for The PLUS Model Magazine blog), I am mostly behind the scenes and rarely seen. I'm a writer and most times, writers are people who create wonderful stories and are mostly known by their name being shown as the author of an article or piece and a small avatar where only your head is shown. And sometimes, that's not a bad thing, lol.

But when I am seen at events, I tend to freak out because I just don't know what to wear. And that throws me off because I feel like I can't wear what I want to wear because my style is not considered on the level of a "fashionista".

Most in the industry have a stereotypical view on what a fashionista is and there are many who fit this image so this stereotype is accepted with no question. And let's not get started on the fact that bloggers that are above a size 24 are a minority and rarely seen in major campaigns in magazines, retailer websites and etc. So here I am, a size 26 and I don't walk around looking flawless, wearing crop tops and mini skirts, carrying a Chanel bag and having someone professionally take my pictures daily. I don't have a personal hairstylist or makeup artist either.

Dress: Torrid, Cardi: Lane Bryant, Boots: OneStopPlus, Leggings: Eloquii, Bag: Evans

This has made me ask myself out loud many times...what about the rest of us? Those of us every day women who are living normal lives, on our hustle mode daily and don't have the income to even look at a Chanel bag because we have bills to pay and others to take care of. Those of us with 9-5 jobs, who grind daily. Those of us whose style does not match the imposed idea of what a "fashionista" should look like.

I happen to love sneakers, especially high tops. retro ones, girly ones and printed ones. I'm not a heels girl at all. I love to wear jeans when I can find a pair that actually fits. I love graphic tees, cardigans, leopard print, boots, moto jackets...hell, any jacket. I just love jackets. I love statement coats (when I can find them in my size). I love exposed zippers, crazy prints, long tunics and crossbody bags. I hate feeling uncomfortable and bulky. I'm a traveler and like to be able to glide around the world without too much baggage. I don't like wearing necklaces too much but I love Betsey Johnson earrings, pearls, hoop earrings and silver bangle bracelets. I love dresses especially print ones. I love to dress up sometimes and be very girly but prefer to be dressed casually with an edge on a daily basis. And I don't see anyone my size that dresses like me out there in the industry. I used to think that was a bad thing but now, not so much.

Maxi dress: Ashley Stewart

I have learned that it's okay to be different. It's great to look to others for inspiration but you have to stay true to yourself in everything, not just fashion. Because I have learned that people can see when you're uncomfortable, not feeling 100% confident, feeling inadequate or trying to be something you're not. You may think you conceal it well but honestly, it always shows. Body language says a lot about a person. And life is too short to not feel comfortable in your own skin and wear what you love.

I don't aspire to fit someone else's idea of what a fashionista is. I aspire to break the rules and be me, which means being my own version of a fashionista. I believe we all are fashionistas in our own right - if you know your style and live it/breathe it, you are a fashionista. Fashion is about expressing yourself with your style. It's about making a statement about who you are with what you wear. It's another way for us to have our voices heard.

Dress, Leggings & Blazer: Fashion to Figure

As a plus size woman, every time I step out of the house, I am an activist. By living in a body that society tells me is unhealthy, ugly and disgusting, and daring to go outside and live my every day life, I am giving society the middle finger. Add dressing nice to that or wanting to be fashionable and wear what you want to wear, and you truly become a walking billboard for body acceptance. Whenever a plus size woman does something that goes against what stereotypes have been set by society, we are being activists. It's not just fashion. It's being active, eating healthy, traveling...shit, having fun. Some people think that if you're fat, you're miserable. How could you possibly be happy in a big body? Trust, you can. I didn't choose to be an activist but honestly, I'm all for breaking rules and proving to the world that I can do anything I set my mind to. I'm all for the Big Girl Revolution and fully support it.

My days of feeling inadequate are over. I used to feel some kind of way of always being overlooked in this industry because of my size and my style. But, a dear friend said to me once, "You're here because you're meant to be here." And I tell myself that every time I walk into a room or an event. Not everyone will like me and believe me, the blogger world can be clique-ish but I don't need to be a part of a clique nor do I need to try hard to be accepted. I'm here because I am meant to be here.

I may not get chosen to be in a campaign alongside other bloggers, I may not get invited to every event and I may not be as visible as others in this industry. It is what it is. But what counts is that I am comfortable with who I am and am embracing my style, despite being told by the masses that my style is not fashionable. No one's opinion matters except for my own.

And I have learned that even when you think no one notices you, someone is always watching. :-)

"Thick Chick" necklace: Candy Strike (one of the few necklaces I love), Jacket and dress: OneStopPlus

I love Audrey Hepburn. Everyone who knows me, know I loves me some Audrey.

I call my bedroom the Audrey room. There's framed Audrey movie posters, huge Audrey canvas I scored at IKEA and even an Audrey clock that my brother gave me for Christmas two years ago. I own two Audrey tees, an Audrey lunchbox, books and am now on a quest for some Audrey ballerina flats. My friend Donna actually found an Audrey Hepburn wine glass that she gifted me! I even have an Audrey luggage tag on my suitcase.

My Audrey canvas in the background

People often ask me, "Why do you love Audrey so much?" and it is assumed that I love her because she was and is still a fashion icon. Nope, that's not the reason. Don't get me wrong. I love her style and have mimicked it at times in my life. But what I love about Audrey so much is that she was fearless.

She had been through a lot in her life. Audrey lived in Europe during World War II, mostly in the Netherlands and her father was absent for most of her life. Her plan was to be a ballet dancer and she trained so well that by the time she was 15, she was dancing in secret for groups of people to collect money for the Dutch resistance. Her family starved and really suffered during the war. But she used her creative talents as an outlet and even drew as a way to pass the time. This is why she became so passionate in helping others and became a humanitarian later in life, becoming a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador.

After being told that she was too tall and weak to become a prima ballerina, she worked in theatre to pay the bills until she was discovered and became the wonderful actress that she is known for.

Audrey never gave up. She was a decent ballerina but that wasn't her calling. She was great at theatre but that wasn't her calling. All of these things just led her to her actual calling. I always believed that acting wasn't her true calling either. It was another step towards her true calling of being inspiring to others. Helping others through her own experiences and being able to make enough money to be able to help others too. Audrey was about love, persistence, kindness, gratitude and generosity. She was so thankful for her life, even the bad times. Because she knew there was always a lesson to be learned. And she knew how to live her life gracefully and with dignity.

So, why do I love Audrey so much? Because she was someone who I strive to be like. She had such a wonderful heart and despite all the setbacks she encountered (even in her adult life, she suffered miscarriages, failed marriages and eventually died from cancer), she always had a smile on her face and never turned away from anyone.

Her birthday was May 4, this past Sunday and I always try to have one good adventure and do three good deeds in her honor. This year was no different. People like her are rare but they make such an impact. She will always be my hero. I'll be honoring her all month because for me, May is Audrey month.

Taken 12/7/13 - I looked up and knew that my dad was watching over me

Another great cloud shot I caught by accident

A shot of clouds I took in July 2013 - Lower Manhattan

Sunset in The Rockaways, Queens, NYC

I absolutely love this quote from Bill Blass and always think of it when I pull a piece of red clothing to wear from my closet:

Red is one of my favorite colors and a color I happen to look fantastic in. So any chance I get, I channel my inner Lady in Red. It's something about red that gives me a fearless attitude and that extra confidence that sometimes is needed when things aren't going right. Red makes me feel bolder. It's like I have an alter ego when I wear red. I guess we can call her Audrey, lol. I usually feel like this when wearing red:

I think the best gift you can give someone in the world (and yourself) are two little words that pack so much power in them:

Thank you.

I think gratitude can go a long way for yourself and others. When you are thankful for what you have in life, you will focus on those things and not dwell on what's missing. You will be more accepting of things beyond your control and not feel frustrated when things don't go your way. You will value those things more because you are thankful for them. You will make others feel good about their presence in your life by letting them know that you are thankful to have them in your life. This will help them to feel better about themselves and recognize that they too have an impact on others by being who they authentically are.

We are all human and want to know we are being appreciated. There's nothing worse than feeling like you are giving your all to a relationship/friendship and not feeling appreciated. By saying "thank you", those two simple words can change a person's day. It can show them that they are appreciated. That's not to say that those two words are the ONLY way to express gratitude and appreciation. But it's a great start.

You would think it would be easy to say those two little words. But many people have a hard time saying them. I think that with those two words, there has to be some sort of surrendering and vulnerability attached. You have to be able to humble yourself, put aside your own ego and give credit to someone else. And that is not easy for some people to do.

Giving credit to someone else does not mean you are devaluing your contribution to the world. It means you're recognizing someone else's contribution to the world. We are all here for a reason. No one person can do it all. We all have our own gifts and purpose in life. And there is nothing wrong with giving notice to someone else's presence in the world and showing gratitude.

I spent the last two days of 2013, thanking some people in my life for what they have brought into it. My heart was telling me to do that and I am learning that it is okay to let your heart rule some decisions when it feels right. I think if we spent more time appreciating the people in our lives, whether they are lifelong friends or just people you interact with on social media who inspire you, to even that person in your neighborhood who always offers you a smile and "Good Morning", we'd feel lighter and the world on a whole would be happier.

As I have blogged before, it is okay to be vulnerable and in life, we all have to surrender at some point and be accepting of things beyond our control. Saying things like "Thank You" and "I'm Sorry" are ways to practice not being afraid to be vulnerable and being more thankful in life.

I think we need more gratitude in the world. It continues to baffle me when people get suspicious or think I have ulterior motives when I say those two words or tell them how awesome I think they are. I believe in speaking life into people. It doesn't mean you're not being honest with them. It just means you're freely expressing how great you think they are. To me, it's another way of expressing gratitude for their presence in my life.

With that said, I want to say THANK YOU to those of you who read this blog on a regular basis and have gone on this journey with me. 2013 was a great year and 2014 will be even better.

If you decide to end your year, saying "Thank You" to someone for their presence in your life in 2013, I would love to hear about it. Trust me, it'll make your heart feel lighter and may inspire that person to continue doing what they're doing since someone noticed enough to say "thank you". Happy New Year, people!