Never Be Ashamed of Your Size

Monday, May 7, 2018

"I am recognizing that the voice inside my head is urging me to be myself but never follow someone else." ~ Q-Tip, "Steve Biko (Stir it Up)" 

For years, I wore the wrong size. I thought I was larger than I was AND I had been fed that notion growing up that wearing baggy clothing would hide my fat and draw less attention from the world. I used to lie about my size because I was ashamed to be a size 24 and wore clothing that was a size 30/32 in order to hide my body.

For me, those days of hiding and lying about my size are over. I'm still on my journey to complete self love and I know that journey is a lifetime commitment. 

Now I'm a size 26/28 and I don't lie about it. I embrace it because it is me and honestly, my size does not dictate my worth in anything. My clothes fit me better -- I mean, how amazing do I look in those Lane Bryant jeans in the above pic? Baggy jeans were not a good look for me. I'm daring to step out of my comfort zone more and wearing different styles - the more fashion I try and love, the more my confidence builds.

AND... my size has actually been my strength and worked for me in a positive way. It has helped me with this blog and reaching other women who need inspiration and empowerment from someone who they resonate with. It has helped me get signed as an extended sizes fit model with State Management, it has helped me stand out in the influencer space and it has taught me how to use my voice to make change in the world.

However, these days, I am now seeing women (including bloggers) lie about their size and saying they are smaller. I see them squeezing into clothing that doesn't fit well. And it confuses me because it's evident that the clothing is too tight and ill fitting, as well as the wearer not looking super comfortable. 

Girl. Why are you doing that to yourself? 

I'm all for people wearing what they want but I also want to inspire women to embrace who they are, including their size. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all beautiful in our own right, no matter your size, age, gender, race and etc. 

I want women to proudly wear their size and not think twice about it. I want them to not get caught up in the number and focus on being comfortable in what they choose to wear. Why? Because then you will feel good and will feel more comfortable and strong, wearing something that fits well, isn't stopping your breathing and squeezing the life out of you.

Another reason I personally don't get caught up in sizes anymore is because it is so inconsistent across the board. I wear a size 22 in ASOS, a size XXL (24) in City Chic, a 26 in LOFT, a 28 in Lane Bryant, and so on. Shoot, sometimes I have worn a size 5X at Gwynnie Bee! If I let all that get to my head, I would lose it.

So I shop by my measurements and wear what I love. I wear styles that enhance my curves, lumps and bumps. I know my body shape and know what looks good on me. I wear clothing that I feel good in and that includes those "taboo" styles like a body con dress, a crop top, shorts and leggings. As long as I feel good and love how it looks on me, I wear it.

If you love how that extra tight smaller size looks on, then I will be quiet and let you live. But it does sadden me that some women feel like they have to lie about their size, their weight and all of that vanity stuff because we do those things for others; to seek validation from others.

At the end of the day, we shouldn't be dependent on the validation of others because what counts is the validation we give ourselves.

The most important relationship you can have in life is the one you have with yourself. That relationship will determine how the other relationships in your life will go. And if you can't keep it real with yourself, how will you do so in other relationships?

Some food for thought...

Life is short. Be proud of you and all you have been able to do in your life in your body. Size ain't nothing but a number and has nothing to do with your beauty and what you bring to the world. There is only 1 you in the world so why not celebrate that?

"You gotta have the mindstate like: 'I'm so great,' and can't nobody do it like you do. Miraculous, phenomenal and ain't nobody in here stopping you." ~ Remy Ma, "Conceited"


  1. Yaaaaaaas! Say it again! Size does not determine worth or beauty! love you to life

  2. I like your attitude. My sister and I (both plus size) saw you on a mattress advertisement. My sister said "OMG she looks like me--hair, face, body and all!). And she does resemble you--so it's a good thing when we see real life, real sized models out here representing us proudly. Go Marcy!

  3. I stumbled upon your blog this morning while Googling "how to make peace with my obesity." Thank you for what you are doing and all that you are sharing for those of us who struggle to feel beautiful because we are not svelte and thing. I keep thinking of my life in terms of what I will do "when I lose weight" and I am losing the here and now. That ends today. I will plan that trip, enjoy my life and be a happier person no matter what the scale says. (At least that is what I'm shooting for now!) Thank you again!