This guy, who is an author who is building his career on writing relationship/self-help books geared mainly towards women, wrote something about women who say they are single by choice. He wrote that being single by choice is not possible because why would anyone choose to be single. He said we are single by chance and the status just read to me as if he were saying that women were to blame for not meeting the right guy yet and that we needed to work on ourselves and etc.
Being a single chick BY CHOICE, I was speechless. I didn't comment on the status because I learned a long time ago that everyone has an opinion and is entitled to it. You can't control what someone else thinks. You can only control how you let that opinion affect you. But that status compelled me to write about it since I am a single woman, again, BY CHOICE.
Let me just say first, that this guy is a great writer and many things he does say are valid and inspiring. He's a very spiritual and intelligent guy. I even own his book. But I have to disagree with him on this one.
Now, it's true, why would anyone choose to be alone when honestly, most of us do want love in our lives. I know I do. But...When I say I am single by choice, what I am saying is that I choose to not just be with anyone. I choose to be with someone that I think is worthy of me and vice versa. To me, being single by choice means knowing your self-worth and not settling for just anything or anyone that comes along. When you settle for any old thing, that is what you will attract and get. I believe when you know your self-worth, are doing your thing and living your life for YOU and not someone else, you will attract someone who will appreciate who you are and not treat you like crap.
We always have a choice. When my ex-boyfriend, who, in my opinion, is a bully and control freak contacts me (which he does every 3-6 months), I hit delete. His number is no longer stored on my phone but he still calls and texts every so often. I just choose to not speak to him. We all have that ex in the past that we allowed into our lives. There is nothing wrong with that. But, we cannot let that person affect how we treat the next person who comes into our lives. We also can choose who we let into our lives. Our pasts don't define the choices we make today. Right in this moment.
Do I like being single? No. I want love in my life. I want to get married one day and have children.
Do I let my single status stop me from being happy? No. Life will go on regardless and time is valuable. So I am going to spend my moments doing happy things and enjoying my life, whether I am single or not.
Am I single by choice? Yes. And when that imperfect man who is perfect for me shows up in my life, I will then choose to not be single.
It's as simple as that. And there is nothing wrong with that.
One of my best friends currently made the choice to remain single for a year to find herself and live life as a single woman on her own. To me, making a choice like that is HUGE and commendable. Because you are being accountable for you and making that conscious choice to better yourself so that when that right person for you comes along, you are ready to open your heart and let love in.
So single by chance? I don't think so. I choose to be single right now, in this moment. But the beauty of having free will and making choices is that you can always change your mind according to the present situation. So, who knows? I may choose to not be single three months from now. Life is unpredictable like that. :)
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