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If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. ~ Katharine Hepburn
I have made no secret of my love for prints. I think that may come from me being a young child in the 70's where my mom dressed me up in printed bell bottoms and denim that had all kinds of colorful patches on it, lol.
One of my fave prints is stripes. And I grew up with the fashion rule about stripes burned in my brain... big girls shouldn't wear stripes because it will make you look bigger especially horizontal stripes. Mind you, the majority of stripes out there in fashion are horizontal. Ugh.
As I evolve in my style and become more comfortable with being me, I find I am breaking more fashion rules. I hate feeling like I am in this struggle with myself to either conform to the rules that were told to me so many years ago OR just be me and wear what I love.
I am choosing the latter. Life is too short to hold yourself back from being happy. Part of my happiness is wearing something I love and feel good in. I embrace who I am and that I am different. I feel like it's empowering to stand up and be YOU. No need to compare yourself to others or copy someone else. I always tell myself to let someone else's style inspire me but not let it consume me. No one else is like you and I think that's pretty awesome. Everyone should celebrate their uniqueness and be proud of who you are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I am wearing the heck out of this pink jacket (also from Lane Bryant). I can't help it. It's my magical jacket where wonderful things happen when I wear it. Plus, as I have said before, it is always nice to have a statement piece in a pop of color. I think the pink goes perfectly with the black and white stripes.
I continue to feel free and empowered with every outfit I dare to wear, no matter what rule I am breaking. As I always say, change your mindset, change your life. After having the worst year of my life, things are turning around. Did I do anything special? Nope. I just changed my mindset, stopped worrying about the small stuff and appreciating everything I have. I may not be rich in money but I am rich in love and happiness. I'm in a better place and that's what counts.
You can buy my dress here - it's on sale!
Shoes here and jacket is unfortunately sold out. :-(
I'm a summer baby. My birthday is August 19 and August is usually hot and humid where I am. The irony of that is I HATE THE SUMMER. Ugh.
I dread the summer because I don't like to be hot, red-faced and sweaty. It is not a good look AT ALL.
But in the last year since my brother died, I have been undergoing a major transformation of self. I'm grieving but also reevaluating my life and how I live it. Time is precious and I want to enjoy every second of it. Life is not perfect but it can be an adventure, if you want it to be.
I live in a beach town so summer is an exciting time when tourists descend on our little place in the world, fighting for the perfect beach spot. Sure, it can be annoying with all the crowded buses/trains and not being able to eat a slice of pizza in peace with so many people there. I can't even visit my favorite coffee spot in peace. But I will admit, the energy is incredible. People look so happy and free. And I decided that this year, I will grin and bear it because the positives outweigh the negatives. Why not feed on that energy and use it to my advantage?
So I am challenging myself this summer to accomplish some things and enjoy the summer, even though I'm sure I will be suffering in silence, lol.
One thing I want to do this summer is wear more white. I have not worn white pants since high school and that was about 25 years ago. White has always been my fashion enemy. I have it burned in my brain that white will make me look fatter and I don't want to look like a marshmellow on the street.
The weather has been wonky this year. Last week, it was in the 50s and today, it's 85 degrees. I decided to conquer this fear of white in baby steps. Enter the "white jacket"....
Summertime is definitely in the air and I don't mind it at all, for a change.
You can buy this moto jacket at Lane Bryant here.
I dread the summer because I don't like to be hot, red-faced and sweaty. It is not a good look AT ALL.
But in the last year since my brother died, I have been undergoing a major transformation of self. I'm grieving but also reevaluating my life and how I live it. Time is precious and I want to enjoy every second of it. Life is not perfect but it can be an adventure, if you want it to be.
I live in a beach town so summer is an exciting time when tourists descend on our little place in the world, fighting for the perfect beach spot. Sure, it can be annoying with all the crowded buses/trains and not being able to eat a slice of pizza in peace with so many people there. I can't even visit my favorite coffee spot in peace. But I will admit, the energy is incredible. People look so happy and free. And I decided that this year, I will grin and bear it because the positives outweigh the negatives. Why not feed on that energy and use it to my advantage?
So I am challenging myself this summer to accomplish some things and enjoy the summer, even though I'm sure I will be suffering in silence, lol.
One thing I want to do this summer is wear more white. I have not worn white pants since high school and that was about 25 years ago. White has always been my fashion enemy. I have it burned in my brain that white will make me look fatter and I don't want to look like a marshmellow on the street.
The weather has been wonky this year. Last week, it was in the 50s and today, it's 85 degrees. I decided to conquer this fear of white in baby steps. Enter the "white jacket"....
Y'all know I love me some moto jackets and so of course, I had to have this white moto jacket from Lane Bryant. I was iffy on it at first but once I put it on, I realized I was really digging it. I didn't melt or burst into flames so that's a good sign. And I did not look like a marshmellow. Hmmm...
I probably won't get to wear this jacket much right now as summer appears to be well on its way quickly. And this jacket is a ponte knit so it's a little heavier than I'd like for any temps above 60 degs. But this is a jacket that can be worn season to season and never go out of style. Those are the true investment pieces.
As we speak, I am looking for a nice pair of white cropped denim jeans and shorts. And I am determined to wear them this summer. I'm deprogramming myself about white by subtly adding white pieces to my wardrobe that have hints of color (like the Lela Rose watercolor dress and top from Lane Bryant that I blogged about here) and once I am comfortable, I will do all white.
It's all about baby steps and challenging yourself to go outside your fashion box while staying true to your style. My dad used to always say that if you try to do something, it doesn't matter if you fail or not because at least, you tried. And you can always keep trying until you get it right.
Summertime is definitely in the air and I don't mind it at all, for a change.
You can buy this moto jacket at Lane Bryant here.
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Please check out what my fellow Ahead of the Curve Bloggers have to say about Summer by clicking HERE.
We are a plus size blogging collective that comes together once a month to post on a fashion theme. Stay in the know with Ahead of the Curve by liking us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram as Ahead_of_the_Curve_Bloggers.
"Grief is like the ocean; it comes on, waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim." ~ Vicki Harrison
Letting go is not easy. For me, I tend to hold onto things, people and feelings.
When my dad died four years ago, it was the first time I lost someone dear to me. And I didn't know how to handle it. I am just now feeling like I am grieving. I spent the first year in a fog and then held a lot of things in. Looking back now, I know that I didn't allow myself to grieve because that would mean I was accepting that my dad was gone. I held onto the idea of him and wouldn't let go.
Then my younger brother Danny died last year. He died a month after the third anniversary of my dad's death and this really rocked me to the core. My brother was younger (he was 40 when he died) and he was my only sibling. He was my mother's only son. He was a father to three beautiful daughters. He was a husband. He was so many wonderful things. When I lost him, I left like I lost a limb. I have lost a part of me that I will never get back.
I have to tell you... I'm tired. So tired. Sometimes I feel so tired that the exhaustion weighs me down. Some mornings I don't want to get out of bed. I just want to stay under my covers, close my eyes and tune out the world. So then I don't have to face that they're gone. But then I think of them and the realization settles in. They're gone.
Looking back five years ago, I would have never thought I would be in this place. My dad was supposed to live until his 90's. He was supposed to walk me down the aisle and play with his grandchildren. My brother was supposed to live to see his daughters graduate and get married. He was supposed to be a grandfather. But that is not the case. And I was not prepared for this.
We all know we are going to die one day but you never REALLY think about it. Well, I never did. I was spending my time taking life for granted. But now I see that one minute you're here and the next minute, you can be gone. And you don't know when. You can't do anything about it, either. That is some terrifying shit, let me tell you.
Sometimes my anxiety overcomes me and I'll be honest, I start to freak out. I have to remind myself to breathe and relax. I tell this to my mom when she has her anxious moments. REEELLLLAAAAXXX. She gives me a dirty look (lol) but she admits later that it helps.
I think the positive in this situation is that my mom and I have each other. Our relationship is so strong and solid right now. I love her so much that I can't even think about when she will die. I often wonder who will go first between the two of us. I don't want to think about it but with my dad and brother gone, it's something we have to not only think about but talk about. We have to make preparations so we are not taken by surprise. The key is not letting it consume us to the point where we don't enjoy the moments we do have, right now.
My wish is for her to live another 20-30 years and hopefully, I will live another 40. But for now, I am trying to figure out how to let go of this anger I feel and try to live in a better space without having this pain dictate my steps.
This last year has been so hard and I think that's because not only am I finally grieving for my dad but now I am also grieving for my brother. I suffered a bad bout of depression after New Year's and thought I would never make it out. All I wanted to do was sleep. But my strength, my faith and my inner fighter brought me out of it. I go to therapy every week and I am just now feeling comfortable enough to go to a bereavement group.
One baby step at a time.
But I will say that what's different now is that I am hopeful. I know things are going to be okay. I just remind myself to be kind to myself. And strive to be strong, secure and happy for all the days of my life.
I have survived losing half of my immediate family in a span of three years. Yeah, I'm definitely a survivor. And that makes me smile. Because I know my dad and Danny are smiling along with me.
Oh, but how I miss them. I miss them more than words can say.
"People will stare. Make it worth their while." ~ Harry Winston
I was trained from an early age to wear black because it's "slimming". My inner fashionista felt stifled because I love color and prints. So I struggled with myself because there were times I was fearless enough to wear a bold color (like this yellow skirt I wore to the homecoming dance in high school) or a crazy print (like those red and white palm print shorts I wore during the summer I was 15). And then there were times where my anxiety of attracting unwanted attention kicked in and I would wear all black.
Even today, twenty-something years later, I still have my little issues that I am conquering one outfit at a time. Like wearing white pants (on my to-do list), wearing skirts and dresses above the knee (check, sort-of) and the one I conquered recently... wearing printed pants.
For years, I have looked at printed pants with such admiration and awe. I love leopard print and would secretly wish I could pull off some leopard print pants. I love stripes and florals, too. In the past few years, I have upped my fashion game simply by letting go of my anxiety over wearing certain things. It not only comes with time but also with a change in mindset. I always say, "Change your mindset, change your life". It is so true. We can't control how others act but we can control our opinions and thoughts about ourselves and how we react to others.
So I decided the time was now. When I saw this pair of black and white palm print cropped pants at Lane Bryant, I went for it. And when I put them on, they fit so well, it was magical. Seriously. This was so long over due.
I love the beach and while it was still a little chilly out on this particular day, it was fun to take some pics on the new boardwalk. Rockaway Beach is still being renovated and rebuilt after Superstorm Sandy hit the peninsula almost three years ago but it was nice to see what's to come in various finished areas of the boardwalk.
I love this outfit and you best believe I will be rocking these pants ALL SUMMER in different outfits. These pants are versatile like that, which I love. And there's a heavier feel to the fabric with stretch which is nice for me since it provides some support and keeps the "jiggle jiggle", while I am sashaying around, looking flawless.
And let's not talk about this jacket, which I have worn in so many outfits already. My next blog post will talk to this jacket again and how I paired it with a dress. It's always great to have a jacket in a bold color to give your outfit that extra stylish element. My 15-yr old inner self is saying "This jacket is dope!".
On my way to fashion freedom and fearlessness, baby!
Shop my look here:
- Pink Moto Jacket from Lane Bryant - SOLD OUT - Similar one here
- Lena Printed Smart Stretch Crop Pant from Lane Bryant - Available in sizes 14-28, click here
- Solid Sateen Shirt in Black from Catherines - Available in sizes 0X-5X - click here
- Patent Flat in Vivid Pink from Lane Bryant - Sizes 7W-12W - click here
"If you splurge, do it on an item that's fun, because you'll feel good whenever you put it on." ~ Lela Rose
When I heard that Lela Rose was designing a capsule collection for Lane Bryant, I was overjoyed. I love Isabel Toledo very much but most of her collection, while beautiful, was simply not my style. I love color and prints -- and that's what Lela Rose is all about.
The 11-piece collection didn't disappoint when I first saw it. I immediately saw a few items I wanted. However, I was skeptical about getting it off the rack because being at the end of the size range at LB can be hit or miss. So I got two items in-store and three online. I always look for stretch because Lane Bryant only goes up to 28 and while I am usually a 26, there are times where I don't even fit into a 28 in LB.
I was sure that the three items I got online would fit but I did get a 28 in all three, just in case. The infamous watercolor dress that many are in love with was sold out online so I had to pick it up in-store. I was happy I went in-store to try it on because that dress has no stretch AT ALL. While the skirt is full, the bodice is fitted. I tried a 28 and the underarm area was gapping out. So I tried the 26. This is me wearing the 26:
I love the dress but the no stretch factor bothers me. It didn't bother me on the level where I didn't get the dress (I did, lol). But it is something to keep in mind if you plan to get this dress. This is definitely a dress you should try on in-store, especially if you're busty on top. (For the record, I am a 46DD.)
I also tried on the Graphic Print Sateen Dress. I wasn't going to at first because online it did not excite me. But when I saw it in-store and saw that it was a heavier cotton that had stretch, I took it off the rack and into the dressing room with me.
Get this... I AM WEARING A SIZE 24!!! This is what I mean by the vast difference in stretch versus no stretch. Now this dress is slightly above the knee for me at 5'7" but it is because of my butt and hips lifting it a bit. Since I am trying to dress outside my safe little fashion box, I went for it. This dress comes with a cute pink belt.
Watercolor Tee - has no stretch but I fit into a size 28. This is the same print and fabric as the Watercolor dress. I love it so much but it is a bit tight in the hips when I sit down. It does have a nice high-low hem and can be worn with several colors so this is definitely one of those items that can create a multitude of outfits.
Crosshatch Tunic - this one has a bit of stretch but not much. The detailing on the shoulders and sleeves is nice and I like the length. I fit into size 28. I love having a simple yet pretty black top.
Unfortunately, the Print Block Sheath Dress did not fit. I thought it would have stretch but I was sooo wrong. I couldn't even get it over my head. This I got in a 28 as well.
I didn't show myself wearing the two tops because I plan to blog about them in the next week. I can't wait to show them off in a head to toe outfit. The Watercolor Tee is my favorite and I am going to have fun with that top.
Click here to shop the Lela Rose collection for Lane Bryant.
Have you tried any Lela Rose pieces? I see a few more I like so I would love to hear of your fitting experiences in a comment below. :-)
"Over the years, I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who is wearing it." - Yves Saint Laurent
Mother Nature seems to be getting nicer with this weather and I am in full spring-mode. Better late than ever! I have gladly put away my coats and snow boots. And while it is still kind of windy and chilly, it's a lot better than it was this winter.
I've started to wear shorter dresses now and show my legs off more often. I still have not gone above the knee but still, this is a major accomplishment where I am feeling fearless and so confident. I'm falling in love with my legs again, one day at a time.
I'm also learning to not be so critical of what shows in what I wear - I have a belly and it is not going anywhere right this minute so why not embrace it? It is part of me and I happen to think I am pretty freaking fantastic.
So when I tried this dress on in Catherines, instead of looking at my flaws, I instantly was drawn to how my waist looked, the length and how the color looked great on me. I am not really a "blue" girl but recently I have been embracing the color more because it's a pretty eye-catching color.
I wore this black ponte knit moto jacket from Lane Bryant because it was so windy. But it does cover the detailing at the waist and shoulders so I don't think I would want to wear a jacket with this dress going forward, despite it being sleeveless. I'm just starting to show my arms more so this will be something that is part of my journey to loving all parts of me.
I am loving these new cutout flats from Lane Bryant. As you can see from previous posts, I am a flats girl. Heels are just not my thing. (Look at my legs. OMGOSH! I can't believe I am showing them off!)
The black and white details on this dress really give it that extra chicness and accentuate my hourglass figure.
This dress feels like a ponte knit so it has stretch and feels so comfortable. I'm wearing a size 3X in the dress and size 26 in the moto jacket.
You can shop my look via the following links:
- It's a Cinch Dress from Catherines - Available in sizes 1X - 4X - click here
- Ponte Moto Jacket with Zippers from Lane Bryant - Available in sizes 14 - 28 - click here
- Cut-out Ballet Flat from Lane Bryant - Available in sizes 7W - 12W - click here
That quote from Yves Saint Laurent stays with me all the time. So many times, we let the clothing wear us when really we should be wearing the clothes. Confidence is everything. And the woman wearing this blue dress is really in a great, happy place. Showing her legs, arms and all.
**Photography taken at the Rockaway Tribute Park and the Welcome to The Rockaways Street Art on Beach 94th Street in Rockaway Park, Queens, NYC.
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