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"Each of us lives within a vessel that is uniquely ours and also perfectly 'real.'" ~ Jes Baker
Recently, Lane Bryant reached out to me with an amazing opportunity that I couldn't pass up.They have created a pant called The Allie Pant that has a universal fit. And get this... they wanted me (yes, me!) to partner with The Instagram Wives to show how the pants look on different sized bodies/shapes.
With me being a size 26/28, this is major! Women my size are not really seen front and center so kudos to Lane Bryant for being open to having a woman my size in a campaign. I legit want to cry as I type this because this means the world to me. Just to be seen and alongside women who are under a size 22!?! WHAT?!? Man, let the Big 22+ Girl Revolution begin! It's about time.
The Instagram Wives and I had a lot of fun shooting for this project. Sandra is a size 20, Darlene is a size 18 and Jami is a size 16. We're also all different shapes and heights. With me included, it felt like we really showcased how the Allie pant works for different bodies.
Sandra, Jami, Darlene and I all wearing the Allie Pant in black |
I was surprised that the length was a bit long for me. I requested the average length and I'm 5'7".
The waist is a little big on me but the wide elastic inner band does help somewhat in keeping the pants up. However, with a 17 inch difference between my waist and hips, I think I am still going to need a belt for these pants.
All in all, I like The Allie Pant. Kudos to Lane Bryant for making an effort to better the fit of their pants. I'm willing to try the Allie pant in different colors and prints. That's how comfortable they are. And at the end of the day, comfort is important to me.
I paired the Allie pant with their 6th & Lane Tee with Mesh Cutouts. I love this top. It's lightweight, comfortable and the mesh cutouts offer a chic detail to it. I'm wearing a size 26/28 in the top.
So make sure to check out Lane Bryant's Facebook and Instagram channels to see more of me and the IG Wives as well as learn more about The Allie Pant.
I hope this leads to more brands being open to featuring women who are above a size 22. Hey, I'm available. ;-)
Photography by M Jones Imaging
**This is a sponsored post but all opinions are my own.
"Traveling – it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller." ~ Ibn Battuta
When I was 7, my parents signed me up for Fresh Air Fund (FAF) and it was my first taste of traveling. I have never been the same since.
Stonehenge |
I stayed with a host family who lived in a mansion in Hartford, Connecticut and it was the best two weeks of my life. I remember getting on the Amtrak train on my way to Hartford and thinking, this is amazing! I felt so free as I watched from the window, seeing towns pass me by.
I was in FAF until I was 12 and during that time, I lived with a family in rural Vermont on a farm where I walked barefoot everywhere, picked blueberries, sat on rocks in a lake stream and wrote in my journal. I stayed with a family in Plattsburgh, NY where I went on a backpacking trip with them, hiking in the woods. And I got to experience the camp life in Upstate NY.
This all made me even more eager to see the world.
When I was 14, I went on my first plane ride. I was headed to Los Angeles to spend the summer with my best friend, staying with her aunt and uncle. Once that plane took off at JFK, I instantly knew I was where I wanted to be.
I love the idea of being able to get on a plane and go to different places in the world. And those palm trees in LA had me smiling all summer, fueling my dreams of traveling all over the world.
I still smile when I see a palm tree. I feel like I am 14 again, feeling fearless and free.
Martinique |
As destiny would have it, later on in my life, I would land my first full-time office job at a corporate travel company, which afforded me the luxury of traveling for free. And travel, I did.
Mexico City, Martinique, London, Acapulco, San Francisco, Vegas, Toronto, Hawaii, San Diego, Puerto Rico, Miami, Atlanta, Houston...
If you've read my short essay in Virgie Tovar's Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion, you know I struggled with traveling as a plus size person and dealing with the stares, the anxiety, the comments, etc. I let my fear hold me back from traveling. And my best friend Herman was the one who told me to just go. And I did.
A tequila farm outside of Mexico City |
I then worked for an airline for a few years and traveled some more.
Rome, Florence, Venice, Paris, Versailles, London again, Amsterdam, Brussels, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Denver, London again, Paris again...
Paris enjoying a crepe with Nutella |
Lantau Island, China |
Venice |
Paris |
Drinking a beer in Amsterdam |
Las Vegas |
Paris |
I was also single during this time in my life and all of my friends were in relationships. I learned early on that odd numbers don't work well in travel and single supplements are not awesome AT ALL.
But that didn't stop me from going. And doing things that people told me I couldn't do.
I thrive on the thrill -- I'm not scared of heights or anything. But I panic over things like getting lost and not knowing my surroundings. I panic when I don't have a place to sleep or if I am in place where I feel uncomfortable. I'm someone who doesn't like crowds and I like to have some personal space.
I also always had major anxiety during the flight boarding because I didn't know if someone was going to sit next to me or have an issue with me sitting in their row.
But I never stopped traveling. And my dad used to say that showed my strength. Because traveling is in my blood and I never let my anxiety stop me from seeing the world.
In late 2008, I was laid off from my job of 8 years. I was given a nice settlement and thought, what do I do next? I was pushing 40 and felt like I needed a break from the corporate world. So I did something that had people thinking I had lost it -- I decided to not look for a job at that moment and just travel.
Toronto - eating some poutine |
I spent almost 3 weeks in Europe, starting in London and taking Rail Europe around all over the place. I also went to Denver to visit one of my best friends for a few weeks. LA for two weeks, Vegas for a week.... I got around. Toronto, Mexico, Los Angeles again, San Diego, San Francisco, Florida, Puerto Rico again and Atlanta.
Traveling helped me realize that the corporate world was not for me and that is what led me on this journey to start freelancing as a writer and also immerse myself more into the plus size world.
Washington, DC |
My traveling came to a halt when my dad died in 2011. A piece of me died along with him.
I did visit Washington, DC a few years after he died and it was a trip that reminded me that not only did I miss that feeling of being free but traveling can heal your soul a little too.
Then my younger brother died in 2014. I haven't really traveled since then. Haven't been on a plane. I visit my best friend monthly in the Poconos where he lives and I have been to Philly to visit my other best friend but that has been the extent of my travel.
Grief has a sneaky way of integrating itself into your spirit and making you lose sight of how wonderful life can be if you live fully. You stand still in sadness, grasping at memories of the person you lost. And you feel guilty when you try to move on without them.
I finally feel well enough again where I look at planes overhead and think, I need to be on that plane, going somewhere. That feeling of being free and seeing the world... it never went away but it was muted for a little while. While I don't have the money to travel as I did when I got laid off, I do plan to get out more.
I love traveling by train and bus too. And I'm going to start to branch out slowly and travel on a budget. Because I believe traveling can heal your spirit if you just go.
My dream is to travel cross country to the West Coast via Amtrak. Making stops here and there to visit friends and see some sights.
DC with my best friend Marie |
I also want to start inviting others on my adventures and not travel solo all the time. I think that when you invite others in, you can see the world through their eyes and appreciate the moments even more.
I love to challenge myself daily. So one of my challenges of 2017 is to travel and do so on a budget including that Amtrak trip. Get out there and see some more of the world. I know I can do it. Last year had me on this journey of believing in myself and now I know I can do anything I set my mind to.
Philadelphia - top of the "Rocky" stairs |
Life is all about taking chances, enjoying the moments and just pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone. Experiencing as much as you can and letting those experiences humble you and build your character. Traveling makes you appreciate being alive and the beauty of it all.
And the dopest thing about life is that you can start over as many times as you can until you die. Do-overs enable us to grow and be better people. This is my travel do-over. And I can't wait. Why should I wait until I am thinner or richer? The time is now.
"The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page." ~ Saint Augustine
"If they don't give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair." ~ Shirley Chisholm
I hear plus size women all the time griping how they wish they could shop at straight size stores or how hard it is for them to shop in plus stores and sometimes, even though I love my fellow plus sisters, I look at them like this:
Listen, I feel your pain but if you're under a size 24, in my eyes, you have an abundance of fashion accessible to you. Try being outsized in not only the straight size world but the plus size one too! Then you will understand why I am giving y'all the Anna Wintour resting bitch face with an undercover side eye under my sunglasses.
If you're a size 18 and under, you can even shop at straight size stores! And I am not mad at you. You go, Girl and shop! But please recognize that my fashion struggle is very different than yours.
For example... recently, GabiFresh launched her latest swimwear collection with SwimsuitsForall. And I loved the whole collection. However, I can't wear any of it because it stops at a size 24. And I love me some GabiFresh - so I hope she will expand on her sizes very soon.
I try to shop more by fit than size because sizing is so inconsistent across the board. I have fit into clothing from brands like ASOS and City Chic but it hasn't been often. It truly depends on fabric and cut.
For a long time, I felt like I wasn't worthy of fashion or that I needed to lose weight in order to fit into a smaller size. It's terrible and now looking back, I wonder how young girls, like my nieces who are considered plus size, feel when shopping.
Having fashion available in a wide range of sizes is not promoting obesity. Fashion builds confidence and will help someone with their self-esteem when dressing in what they love, which in turn will inspire them to be the healthiest they can be, at any size. This in turn will change how we view health and body size.
I believe that fashion is for everyone. And style isn't limited by size.
There are so many great plus size brands that I personally would love to shop but they do not offer my size. The only way to change the minds of others is to educate them and let our voices be heard.
We all have the power of the wallet. Support those companies that support us while telling the others what we want. There's strength in numbers and with social media at our fingertips, we can easily talk to companies and let them know how we feel.
With that said, here's my top 5 brands that I would definitely shop, if they expanded their size range:
When the Essie X Kelly collection came out over the holidays, I would have bought every single item in that collection. But of course, it only went up to a size 3X and 24. FTF is so affordable and they have physical stores in my area. So I'd be shopping in there and online often.
I will admit I've scored some pieces from them that fit but believe me, after trying on everything in store (yes everything!), I walked away with like 8 pieces. And that in itself was exhausting.
I still wear this FTF skater dress to this day (it's from 2015) |
I love their new active line and even tried a pair of their jeans which was available in a size 26 but they didn't fit. ::fashion tears::
The company itself is filled with amazing people including the CEO Michael Kaplan. I would support them in an instant if they expanded their size range. Hell, I'd be the President of their fan club.
I feel like many women sleep on debshops because a lot of their stuff is revealing but let me tell you, they have some nice, affordable styles. They relaunched bigger and better last year. However, their sizing is 1XL to 3XL so um no, not fitting me.
And they have reached out to me to work with them and are so nice. I wish! I would work with them in a heartbeat and get my big sexy chic on.
#3: Boohoo
This jumpsuit from Boohoo has my name written all over it. ::sigh:: |
#4: Elvi
I recently discovered this brand and was so disappointed that they stop at a size 24. I just noticed they added a size 26 on some styles, which is great, but if I don't fit into it, I can't size up. They have such great styles too! And they're affordable!
#5: Rachel Roy
Rachel Roy, help a size 26/28 sister out, please! I want this dress! |
Other brands I'd like to mention....
Lane Bryant - I won't front. If it wasn't for Lane Bryant, I wouldn't even own any designer pieces (That Christian Siriano line still has me swooning). But I silently pray daily that they expand to a size 30/32 because in all honesty, 7 times out of 10, their size 28 bottoms don't fit me. So I usually only buy tops and dresses from them. And sometimes, fit is an issue for me there.
Thank you Christian Siriano for this amazing jacket |
Melissa McCarthy Seven7 - Same here. She offers 4X and up to a 28 on some styles but not all. And of course, they are styles I want badly.
SLINK Jeans - I want to try them so bad but they only go up to a size 24 and I'm usually a 28 in jeans because of my hips. Ugh, they look so good on everyone I see wearing them.
Special shout out to brands like Avenue, Old Navy and Torrid who have been offering above a size 24 for years. And a special thank you to Eloquii, Charlotte Russe and Ashley Stewart for expanding their size ranges. I'm still working on finding my fit at CR and Ashley Stewart but Eloquii has really made me fall in love with them.
I also want to thank eShakti for offering not only sizes 0 to 36W but also in custom measurements for an extra $7.50. They have been a lifesaver for me for a few years.
My absolute fave custom eShakti dress |
And in a future blog post, I will talk about how we can let our voices be heard! Let's make 2017 the year where we demand inclusion and acceptance because we are all worthy of having accessible fashion.
To love yourself as you are is a miracle, and to see yourself is to have found yourself, for now. And now is all we have, and love is who we are. ~ Anne Lamott
I have made no secret of my struggles with loving all of me. My thighs are not smooth and have lumps so I have not worn anything that shows the outline of my lumpy thighs for years.
I hated wearing shirts that are shorter than 28" because of my belly showing.
I have come a long way and still working at it daily. 2016 was a key year in my life where I let go a lot of my self loathing and began to live again freely.
Loving yourself is an investment in you and it's something you work at daily. You will have bad days or feel like you look like crap. But when you love yourself, you won't let those bad days affect all the work you have done. You just try again the next day. You may not like how you're feeling on that day but you can still love who you are. That's the true meaning of unconditional love.
As I began to work on my self love and creating this love affair with myself, I began to let go of those fashion limitations I imposed on myself. One of them is wearing skinny jeans without a long top to cover my belly and thigh lumps.
I realized that wearing really long tops with slim fitting pants was making my legs look shorter and it just wasn't a good look for me. I have a waist and honestly, I love my body shape. And I want to wear things that fit me well and make me happy.
For me, it's not about covering up anymore or trying to look flattering. It's more about enhancing what I have and looking polished and put together while feeling comfortable.
I recently saw a corset top at Avenue I loved but I've never felt brave enough to wear a top in that style. Plus, it's kinda short and not something the "old" thinking me would wear. But as I always say, change your mindset, change your life.
But the detail on this lace top is so pretty and I could already imagine what I would wear it with so I went for it!
I paired the top with Avenue's Virtual Stretch Legging Jean in Dark Wash. The size 28 (reg length - I'm 5'7") fit me well. The waist still gaps out in the back but since the difference between my waist and hips is 17", that's something that often happens to me. I was just happy that these jeans fit my large 22" calves!
Am I 100% in love with my lumps? No. I'm just being honest. But this is a huge thing for me to even show these images of me, wearing a top and pants that don't hide my body. And as you can see, I'm smiling and I love what I am wearing. And that's what counts.
I'm enjoying the NOW and right now, I am having an amazing time in this love affair with myself. And I love this outfit!!!! Avenue has a few more corset tops that I will be getting. I also can't wait to try new styles this year and continue to free myself of these restraints that have had me shackled for too many years.
You only live once and I don't want to waste a single minute. I want to look cute, wear things that make me happy and LIVE.
You can shop my look via the links below:
Faux Leather Peplum Jacket via Lane Bryant (from last season - old) - similar style here
Leopard Print clutch via Fashion to Figure (old)
Be inspired! xoxo
"If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door." -Milton Berle
I have found myself saying a few times in the last couple of weeks that 2016 was one of the best years of my life. If you have been keeping up with me and my journey, you know that I'm not saying that lightly because life has been hella rough for me in the last few years.Real talk, this was THE year I reclaimed my belief in my greatness and worth. I just had to work through the murkiness of my emotions and push through the grief. Grief is a sneaky thing. It can spread out and seize other parts of your life, if you let it.
When the year kicked off, I was lost but feeling like I was on the verge of either a breakdown or a breakthrough. Just keeping it real with all of you.
And I was not trying to have a breakdown. Oh no. Life is too valuable and short for all that.
I decided early on this year that I had to create opportunities for myself. I was growing frustrated at the lack of representation of someone who looked like me and I also wanted to be seen in order to gain more opportunities pertinent to my purpose, and that wasn't quite happening as often as I wanted it to. I realized that I had to stop complaining and just focus on creating avenues for myself to be seen as well as pursue opportunities.
Dreams are meant to be chased, not waited for.
And it worked! I had an amazing year! And 2017 is looking to be good, too.
So here's the top 10 reasons why 2016 was a kick ass year for me and truly changed my life...
#10: Moderating My First Panel
#9: Hosting an event at FFF Week
I have hosted a store event before but this was a huge hosting opportunity since it was an event during Full Figured Fashion Week and it was for one of my favorite brands, Avenue. I was honored they asked me to co-host this blogger event with them. I met some great people and got to know the Avenue team better.
#8: Writing for On The Plus Side
I kicked the year off, writing for a new online community launched by plus e-retailer Making It Big, who has since relaunched with the new name On The Plus Side. I love writing for this site because I write about what I love and push the message of body acceptance and confidence.
Click here to see what I have written for the site this year.
#7: Body Positive Campaigns
I was in two major body positive campaigns, both by indie size inclusive brand SmartGlamour. It was an honor to be a part of both of them but the first campaign #ImFlattered will always be one that's special to me as it was how I kicked off 2016. I had never been in a campaign nor in a photo shoot before. I was awkward and nervous. But the feeling of acceptance and women supporting each other really set the tone for me for the rest of 2016. And oh yeah, this campaign went viral and my face was seen on Refinery29, Yahoo and other media outlets. Yes!
#6: Revelist video
So when I saw a call on Facebook from Jessica Torres of Revelist, for women who had never worn a two-piece bathing suit before, I think the confidence gods possessed my body and that's what led me to send her a message, volunteering myself for what turned out to be a video, shot at their offices and posted to their I Heart My Body Facebook page. Click here to check it out.
I didn't think I had the guts to do it. I've never been a swimsuit person and I am very self-conscious of my lumpy thighs. But I thought, hell, you only live once and think of all the women you will inspire.
#5: New York Fashion Week
My lifelong dream has been to go to NY Fashion Week and this year, I was honored to go to my first designer show!!! It was the Christian Siriano show, which was a double win for me since I am a HUGE Project Runway fan. And it just so happened that the show I attended, Siriano included plus models on the runway. It was truly amazing. Special thanks to Lane Bryant for making it possible to attend the show.
Added bonus? A few days later, I got to meet the man at a Lane Bryant store event promoting the launch of his collection for the retailer. Dreams do come true.
#4: Shape.com's #Love My Shape Campaign
Remember how I said above that I wanted to create opportunities for myself in order to be seen more and gain more opportunities?
Well, imagine my shock when Shape Magazine emailed me back in March, asking ME to be a part of their #LoveMyShape campaign. Yes, me! I was floored. I am not a super athlete but at my size, I am healthy and active. And this was another test of my confidence since it required me to submit an image of me wearing a sports bra that they would provide for me.
I was the only one my size that was included in this campaign and it feels so good to have had that opportunity to offer representation for all women who look like me.
And this opportunity simply came up because the folks at Lane Bryant offered my name up when the Shape Mag folks asked them for some suggestions on who would be a fit for this campaign. It pays to have great relationships and continue to nurture them. You never know what it can lead to.
#3: The Today Show
One day, I was scrolling through my Google Alerts to see what was going on in the world of plus size fashion for potential article stories for work and came across a Craigslist ad (of all things!) which linked to The Today Show website, where they put out a call for plus size women looking for a makeover.
I was in the midst of revamping my style but having challenges because of the lack of fashion available in my size. So I decided to email them and got a callback! It turned out to be a segment that was sponsored by JC Penney where plus size fashion designer Ashley Nell Tipton would make us over in styles from her new collection with JCP.
The segment included myself and another young lady who I have remained friends with to this day. Host Bobbie Thomas was so awesome! It was an amazing day.
#2: Gwynnie Bee
Immediately after I did the #ImFlattered campaign, I landed an awesome opportunity via Gwynnie Bee. They were launching the First Fit Project, where influencers of different shapes and sizes would try on new styles prior to them launching online and provide their reviews.
Almost a year later, I have to say, this new gig has changed my life. I'm the only one who is a size 26/28, which is major. I have tried on styles I would never have on my own. It has opened my mind to wearing different prints, silhouettes, colors, etc. It helped me rebuild my body acceptance and love for myself. And it has helped me inspire other women in the process.
More representation means more acceptance and Gwynnie Bee did this for me and countless others. Special shout out to blogger/model Kelly Augustine who spearheaded this project and runs it.
And I am a model. WOW! lol
#1: Style 22+ Lookbook
For a long time, I have had this dream to create a lookbook showcasing women above a size 22, along with positive messages and quotes. And this year, that dream came true. The Style 22+ lookbook launched in mid-November and it has made such an impact to the point where I am working on the next one! You can read more here why this lookbook was necessary and such a personal thing for me.
To sum up my 2016 experience, I offer this quote from Walt Disney:
"All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them."
I can't wait to see what 2017 brings. I am already on board for another fashion campaign for a major plus size retailer that will focus on size diversity AND I am going to start writing for another body positive website. The sky's the limit!
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