It’s easier to make a comeback from a little tumble than from a steep fall. It’s a shorter road back up. So, baby steps, slow and steady. Now start with one foot and go for it. ~ Harriet Cabelly for Tiny Buddha
The journey to self-love is all about acceptance and unconditional love. We all have body parts that we don't like and nitpick at. For some of us, that makes us cover up those parts so we can hide them. Me included.
When I started this journey, I had to be realistic and accept that it would not end in a day and would require a lifetime commitment to taking baby steps to loving ALL of me. That includes my inner self too. I had to commit to not only taking chances with fashion and having fun with it but also caring for myself mentally and emotionally because the way I talk to myself impacts what I choose do in my life, including what I wear.
When it comes to body love, the baby steps I have taken became major accomplishments that have changed my life. I'm wearing more color and prints; I'm wearing sleeveless styles. I'm wearing jumpsuits and even a romper. I'm now more open to trying styles.
Basically, I'm wearing the clothes and they are not wearing me anymore.
I choose what I wear based on what I like and how it looks on my body instead of trying to camouflage areas and hide my body.
My next baby steps are wearing shorter length tops and not worrying about how my lumpy thighs look in pants.
For years, I wore tops that were at least 32" long so I could cover my upper thighs. I was so self-conscious of my lumpy thighs. This also led me to always wearing dark denim so my lumps wouldn't show.
This is why wearing a jumpsuit was major for me and that baby step led me to this place where I was ready to wear some light colored denim and a top that wasn't 32" long.
I discovered that when I wear long tops, it made my legs appear shorter than they are. I have a long torso with a waist so I had to change my thoughts towards my thighs when it came to creating looks for myself. As I said above, I wanted to wear the clothes and not have them wear me. I was dressing to hide flaws and that wasn't fun because it was limiting me in what I wore.
I realized that a better style for me to wear that would elongate my legs and show off my curves would be a shorter length top that fell lower hip or even, dare I say it, upper hip. Yes, my belly would be exposed but hmmmm, let me see how this goes. That is how I talk to myself now when dressing my body. I don't say no to much anymore. Everything is worth a try.
You know what? The world didn't come to an end and no one was staring at me. And I felt like I looked fabulous.
This is the first time I have found a pair of Torrid jeans that fit me well! I have large calves and smaller ankles so skinny jeans are not my friend. I have found that with Torrid jeans, the calf area never fits. This time, I decided to try a boyfriend silhouette, which is more baggy in the calf area than a skinny. And it fit well!
I cannot tell you how empowering it felt to be able to wear distressed jeans again. I haven't worn them since the 90's. I felt "normal".
As I went about my day in these jeans, I felt like everyone else and no one stared at me. As someone who is often outsized in the plus size fashion world, this was one of those days where I forgot my size and just had a happy day, wearing jeans that fit.
I decided I wanted to add a print and a bold colored shoe to give the outfit that Marcy "fearless" vibe.
While in California, my good friend, designer Jill Alexander gifted me this gorgeous cocoon kimono cropped sweater in a pretty pink/blue print. I then added my favorite cobalt blue flats from Lane Bryant to finish up this look.
The sweater is super lightweight and soft. It's a great layering piece when you want to add some color and print to your look. I'm not wearing it to cover my arms at all. I'm wearing it because I love the print.
The pink top from Beth Ditto that I am wearing under it is sleeveless so I have the option to take off the jacket and just wear the top on its own during the hotter months. And I got it on sale for $13! Winning...
Creating an outfit is not daunting to me anymore. And I love how fashion has helped me be more fearless in my life. I love how wearing things like distressed jeans made me feel so happy and empowered.
After this day and this baby step, I am feeling more inspired and determined to try more shorter tops and more bottoms. Hey, you never know... you might see me trying a crop top next!
Lesson learned... baby steps do add up to major accomplishments in life. And once you take one baby step, you'll never look back. You'll keep stepping forward.
Shop my look here:
Top: Beth Ditto (sold out), similar here
Kimono Cardigan Sweater: Jill Alexander Designs
Boyfriend Distressed Jeans: Torrid
Flats: Lane Bryant
Photography by Bettye of Fashion Schlub
Love this!!! Thank you so much for empowering the women of the plus sized world!
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