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Showing posts with label 2016. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2016. Show all posts
"If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door." -Milton Berle
I have found myself saying a few times in the last couple of weeks that 2016 was one of the best years of my life. If you have been keeping up with me and my journey, you know that I'm not saying that lightly because life has been hella rough for me in the last few years.Real talk, this was THE year I reclaimed my belief in my greatness and worth. I just had to work through the murkiness of my emotions and push through the grief. Grief is a sneaky thing. It can spread out and seize other parts of your life, if you let it.
When the year kicked off, I was lost but feeling like I was on the verge of either a breakdown or a breakthrough. Just keeping it real with all of you.
And I was not trying to have a breakdown. Oh no. Life is too valuable and short for all that.
I decided early on this year that I had to create opportunities for myself. I was growing frustrated at the lack of representation of someone who looked like me and I also wanted to be seen in order to gain more opportunities pertinent to my purpose, and that wasn't quite happening as often as I wanted it to. I realized that I had to stop complaining and just focus on creating avenues for myself to be seen as well as pursue opportunities.
Dreams are meant to be chased, not waited for.
And it worked! I had an amazing year! And 2017 is looking to be good, too.
So here's the top 10 reasons why 2016 was a kick ass year for me and truly changed my life...
#10: Moderating My First Panel
#9: Hosting an event at FFF Week
I have hosted a store event before but this was a huge hosting opportunity since it was an event during Full Figured Fashion Week and it was for one of my favorite brands, Avenue. I was honored they asked me to co-host this blogger event with them. I met some great people and got to know the Avenue team better.
#8: Writing for On The Plus Side
I kicked the year off, writing for a new online community launched by plus e-retailer Making It Big, who has since relaunched with the new name On The Plus Side. I love writing for this site because I write about what I love and push the message of body acceptance and confidence.
Click here to see what I have written for the site this year.
#7: Body Positive Campaigns
I was in two major body positive campaigns, both by indie size inclusive brand SmartGlamour. It was an honor to be a part of both of them but the first campaign #ImFlattered will always be one that's special to me as it was how I kicked off 2016. I had never been in a campaign nor in a photo shoot before. I was awkward and nervous. But the feeling of acceptance and women supporting each other really set the tone for me for the rest of 2016. And oh yeah, this campaign went viral and my face was seen on Refinery29, Yahoo and other media outlets. Yes!
#6: Revelist video
So when I saw a call on Facebook from Jessica Torres of Revelist, for women who had never worn a two-piece bathing suit before, I think the confidence gods possessed my body and that's what led me to send her a message, volunteering myself for what turned out to be a video, shot at their offices and posted to their I Heart My Body Facebook page. Click here to check it out.
I didn't think I had the guts to do it. I've never been a swimsuit person and I am very self-conscious of my lumpy thighs. But I thought, hell, you only live once and think of all the women you will inspire.
#5: New York Fashion Week
My lifelong dream has been to go to NY Fashion Week and this year, I was honored to go to my first designer show!!! It was the Christian Siriano show, which was a double win for me since I am a HUGE Project Runway fan. And it just so happened that the show I attended, Siriano included plus models on the runway. It was truly amazing. Special thanks to Lane Bryant for making it possible to attend the show.
Added bonus? A few days later, I got to meet the man at a Lane Bryant store event promoting the launch of his collection for the retailer. Dreams do come true.
#4: Shape.com's #Love My Shape Campaign
Remember how I said above that I wanted to create opportunities for myself in order to be seen more and gain more opportunities?
Well, imagine my shock when Shape Magazine emailed me back in March, asking ME to be a part of their #LoveMyShape campaign. Yes, me! I was floored. I am not a super athlete but at my size, I am healthy and active. And this was another test of my confidence since it required me to submit an image of me wearing a sports bra that they would provide for me.
I was the only one my size that was included in this campaign and it feels so good to have had that opportunity to offer representation for all women who look like me.
And this opportunity simply came up because the folks at Lane Bryant offered my name up when the Shape Mag folks asked them for some suggestions on who would be a fit for this campaign. It pays to have great relationships and continue to nurture them. You never know what it can lead to.
#3: The Today Show
One day, I was scrolling through my Google Alerts to see what was going on in the world of plus size fashion for potential article stories for work and came across a Craigslist ad (of all things!) which linked to The Today Show website, where they put out a call for plus size women looking for a makeover.
I was in the midst of revamping my style but having challenges because of the lack of fashion available in my size. So I decided to email them and got a callback! It turned out to be a segment that was sponsored by JC Penney where plus size fashion designer Ashley Nell Tipton would make us over in styles from her new collection with JCP.
The segment included myself and another young lady who I have remained friends with to this day. Host Bobbie Thomas was so awesome! It was an amazing day.
#2: Gwynnie Bee
Immediately after I did the #ImFlattered campaign, I landed an awesome opportunity via Gwynnie Bee. They were launching the First Fit Project, where influencers of different shapes and sizes would try on new styles prior to them launching online and provide their reviews.
Almost a year later, I have to say, this new gig has changed my life. I'm the only one who is a size 26/28, which is major. I have tried on styles I would never have on my own. It has opened my mind to wearing different prints, silhouettes, colors, etc. It helped me rebuild my body acceptance and love for myself. And it has helped me inspire other women in the process.
More representation means more acceptance and Gwynnie Bee did this for me and countless others. Special shout out to blogger/model Kelly Augustine who spearheaded this project and runs it.
And I am a model. WOW! lol
#1: Style 22+ Lookbook
For a long time, I have had this dream to create a lookbook showcasing women above a size 22, along with positive messages and quotes. And this year, that dream came true. The Style 22+ lookbook launched in mid-November and it has made such an impact to the point where I am working on the next one! You can read more here why this lookbook was necessary and such a personal thing for me.
To sum up my 2016 experience, I offer this quote from Walt Disney:
"All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them."
I can't wait to see what 2017 brings. I am already on board for another fashion campaign for a major plus size retailer that will focus on size diversity AND I am going to start writing for another body positive website. The sky's the limit!
"Life always begins with one step outside of your comfort zone." ~ Shannon L. Alder
For almost a year now, I have been working as a First Fit Reviewer for Gwynnie Bee. I basically act as a fit model for new styles and provide honest reviews on the styles I try, in order to help other women find styles at GB that will work for them.
I take my job seriously. Shopping is a challenge for me because I have large upper arms, a small waist, wide hips and large calves. I also tend to be between a petite and average length in pants - I'm 5'7" and sometimes pants are either too long or too short. I'm also a size 26/28 and you don't see many of us represented on websites and campaigns. So I love being able to try things on at Gwynnie Bee and offer my honest opinion on the fit.
Some pieces are definitely not my style and I have tried things I thought I would never wear, like a jumpsuit, a mini dress and a body con dress. This job has opened my eyes to the fashion out there and has helped me get out of my comfort zone. My style has evolved and is now more about what suits my personality and less about my own hang-ups that feed my fear to try new styles.
So every month, I will be giving all of you a sneak peek as to what's to come the following month that are my favorite styles. I also will be sharing some styles that are on the site that I love. As always, check out my reviews for a more detailed description of my fit experience and if you have any questions, you can always reach out to me on Facebook and Instagram.
I tried this Melissa McCarthy Seven7 Space Dyed Asymmetrical Cardigan yesterday and am in love with it so much!
I'm wearing a size 4X and it fits so well! I love the neckline and the thumb holes! This will be launching on the site on January 10, 2017.
This Kiyonna Foxfire Dress in Purple was a style I did not think I could pull off. But I was so wrong. I love it so much. I definitely felt sexy but chic in this number. I am wearing a 4. This will launch on January 3, 2017.
Another win from Melissa McCarthy Seven7! This Kiss Stain Pintuck Blouse is amazing. I love that you can tie it in the front or back. I'm wearing a 4X. I'm definitely closeting this and buying it. This will also launch on the GB site on January 3, 2017.
My two closet picks for the month are:
I'm wearing a 3X (!) and this cape blazer is simply fabulous. This was my first time wearing a cape style (another venture outside my comfort zone) and I am sold!
As always you can read my full reviews on the GB site. If you aren't a member of Gwynnie Bee and want to try the service out, you can try it for 30 days FREE of charge. Just click here to sign up. You won't be disappointed and you'll never know until you try.
Happy holidays and stay tuned for next month where I will share my faves for January 2017.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~ Albert Einstein
I have made no secret of my hunt for the perfect fitting jean. I especially have yet to find a pair of skinny jeans that fit me.When you're plus size, you know all too well how sizing is inconsistent across the board and that because of all of our different shapes and sizes, shopping is a challenge.
For me, I have a small waist, wide hips and turkey leg shaped calves, where my upper calves measure 22" around but then I have smaller ankles.
Most skinny jeans fit tight on the calves and I can't even get them up my leg. Some boot cut jeans fit tight in the knee but super baggy in the calves. And let's not discuss the gaping at the back of my waist. I hate wearing belts but to keep my pants up, it's a necessary evil.
Jeans are not the only item I have fit issues with.
My hips are wide so sometimes with coats, I struggle to find one that fits well AND will button up without looking like I'm going to burst out of it. So most times with coats, I leave the bottom button undone. And then there's my larger upper arms, which make sleeves the enemy.
After making do with what I have available to me and having many "making it work" moments, the day has come when my dreams have finally come true.
fullbeauty delivered a Christmas miracle my way this year BIG TIME. Not only did they have skinny jeans that fit me but also mid-calf boots that I am able to wear OVER my jeans as well as a comfy plaid coat that fits perfectly.
These Woman Within Premium Denim Skinny Ankle Jeans are amazing. They're a true skinny fit and the stretch denim fabric makes them so comfortable. I ordered the regular women's length and at 5'7", they are long enough where I can roll them up and still have a decent length. I opted for the Indigo wash, which I love. The jeans come in six other washes and I plan to stock up on them.
What I love the most about fullbeauty is their massive shoe selection in wide and double wide widths. I have flat feet with no arch so I wear custom insoles in my shoes to give me arch support. So I always opt for a double wide shoe when I can.
These Madison Booties by Comfortview are so comfy and had more than enough room for me to add my insoles. They're available in M, W, and WW widths and also have half sizes! I'm a solid 9 but always get 9 1/2 because of my insoles.
The boots fit perfectly over my jeans and this is something I have not been able to do since high school! I was so happy that my confidence went from a 10 to 100.
Last but certainly not least... this coat!!!! I have been on the hunt for a coat with a hood that's warm without feeling bulky. I tend to get hot quickly and since I live in New York City, winters can be unpredictable.
I have never owned a plaid coat before so when I saw this Jessica London Shawl Collar Hooded Coat, it called out to me. The neutral grey and black print would go with almost everything and the hood looked super warm. I also loved how it had a tie waist and snap button closure.
This is definitely a cozy winter look that I will be wearing on repeat this season. I love the casual aspect of it but it also has a stylish touch to it courtesy of the boots and skinny jean. I would so throw on a sequin sweatshirt for some bling or maybe add a fur hat. I'm all about having fun with fashion but still making it work on a daily basis since I am always running around town or at work.
You can shop my look at the links below:
Woman Within Premium Denim Skinny Ankle Jeans, available in sizes 12W to 34W in Average, Petite and Tall (I'm wearing a 28W in Indigo)
Madison Booties by Comfortview, available in sizes 7 to 12 in M, W, WW in burgundy, black and brown (I'm wearing a 9 1/2 WW in black)
Jessica London Shawl Collar Hooded Coat, available in sizes 12 to 28 (I'm wearing a 28)
What do you think of my look? What about your fashion struggles? Comment below and let's chat!
**Clothing was sponsored via fullbeauty but all opinions are my own.
"When women support each other, incredible things happen." - Anonymous
I've been in this place in my life where I am evolving and growing. It's crazy. Just when you think you know what you're doing or think you know the industry, something happens to change your perception and enlighten you.
This lookbook I am about to discuss with y'all has changed my life and outlook on the plus size community and industry on a whole.
I am a big believer in creating opportunities for myself. I spent a long time complaining and being resentful that others were getting opportunities and I was being turned down and passed over. Then one day, I realized that I needed to get out of this pity party because at the end of the day, I am in control of my life. I can make things happen.
Why not create opportunities for myself and others?
My biggest gripe has always been that there is not enough representation of women my size in campaigns and in the media. I yearned to see bodies like mine. In talking to many in the industry, I have heard an array of reasons why diversity hasn't fully taken its place in the plus size industry. From fat phobia within brands run by straight size people to the masses not being ready to see larger bodies, I have had so many conversations about this.
However, those conversations did not change the fact that I, as a size 26/28 woman, often feels ignored by the plus size fashion industry. Hell, sometimes I feel excluded by my own community including the activists. It often feels like I straddle the line between the fashion community and the activists and feel like I have to choose a side. But why should I?
I love fashion and dressing up. I also love speaking out against fat bias, discrimination and lack of support. I want to join the fight in pushing size diversity to the masses and bringing attention to what's going on in the world. I mean, Marilyn Wann is my hero and has been for years. But I also love showing my outfits of the day and talking to women about fit and style, especially those above a size 22. This is when the idea of creating a style book came about.
Bloggers put out lookbooks all the time to promote a brand, a trend or season. It's a great visual way to show the products on a non-model body, gain exposure and provide some style inspiration. So I thought, why not use a lookbook as a way to introduce a group of bloggers over a size 22 to the masses while offering their quotes on confidence, body image, style and fit? And it was then that the Style 22+ lookbook was born.
So I began creating my dream list of bloggers I wanted to include in this lookbook. I tend to follow a lot of bloggers because of my current job at PLUS Model Magazine and tend to gravitate towards bloggers who are not only stylish but fearless, genuine and down-to-earth. I tend to not look at numbers or how fancy images are.
Images can be strong on their own when the person in the image is exuding confidence and true happiness from within while knowing that while they are not perfect, they are beautiful. I also wanted to show bodies that you normally do not see in the media or campaigns like those apple shaped girls who carry most of their weight on top.
And I wanted this lookbook to be different. So not only did I ask the women to submit images of them wearing their favorite looks that showcase their style, but I also asked them to answer questions from which I pulled quotes from and placed throughout the lookbook. The quotes talked to topics such as confidence, inspiration, body image, shopping, fit and more.
The lookbook is almost like a mini book that introduces these fabulous women who are all different in style but have the same intent... to live fully in the bodies they are in now, happy and confident. It shows that women above a size 22 can be happy and dress to the nines.
This lookbook taught me the importance of community. It taught me the importance of support. It taught me the importance of having a tribe. Most of all, it taught me that my purpose is bigger than I could have ever imagined.
In the blogger world, there are those who are all about themselves... ME, ME, ME. However, if any change is going to be made in the industry on a whole, we need to support, help and teach each other. We should never view each other as competition because at the end of the day, I believe that there is room at the table for ALL of us.
It's so easy to compare yourself to others and resent their successes because you wonder why you didn't get that opportunity. But honestly, if that opportunity was meant for you, it would be yours. Again, it's about creating your own opportunities and putting your best foot forward. Never giving up and being true to your purpose.
We are all unique and should showcase that. There's no one else like you in the world so why would you think you're competing with someone? The only person you're competing with is yourself.
All of the women in this lookbook are amazing. And they inspire me to keep going. We've already been featured in Buzzfeed, The Curvy Fashionista, Estrella Fashion Report, Daily Venus Diva, PLUS Model Magazine and Dressing Room 8. And it is not over.
This lookbook has me excited for 2017. Because I am so ready to see where this takes me. I have big dreams and ideas that I am going to make happen. I'm already working on the next lookbook, which will be about body love.
I want to show the world that you don't have to be naked to be body positive. I want to show the world that an activist can also be a fashionista. I want to show that all bodies are beautiful. I want to tell the world that fashion is for everyone. And style isn't dictated by size.
Madonna recently spoke about how she's a rebel and rebels are fighters. She then said:
"At the end of the day, it's the rebels who change the world."
That's what I am... a rebel. I will never give up on my mission to support ALL women and inspire them to know that they are beautiful and worthy at ANY SIZE. And health and fashion/style should never be in the same sentence.
Click here to check out the Style 22+ lookbook. Or view it below. And stay tuned for other body diverse and positive projects from yours truly. :-)
Special THANK YOU to the amazing women who joined me in the Style 22+ Lookbook Project:
ShaKera of The Real Sample Size
Amanda W. of Bella Moxie
Meshel of The Muffin Queen's Closet
Ashley of Simply Curvy
Lisa of MustangSallyTwo
Amanda K. of The Koker Chronicles
Meagan of This is Meagan Kerr
Corissa of Fat Girl Flow
Amanda A. of Fashion, Love & Martinis
Emily of Authentically Emmie
Rebecca of The Plus Side of Me
All of them are incredible women that are leaders in this big girl revolution taking place. Yes!
"The more my confidence grows, the more I feel free." ~ Me
As I was looking at fall items this morning and planning what I was going to wear to NY Fashion Week this month, I came to a revelation that kind of shocked me. I was happy and I was looking at items that normally I would pass over.Sleeveless dresses... cutout detailing... crop tops! I would have never thought I would get to this place where I was feeling confident and comfortable enough to bare my arms, show my tummy and wear dresses that were above the knee.
This evolution has spilled over into other areas in my life. Feeling more confident about myself has helped me with being more assertive and not caring too much what others think. It has also helped me with dating because now that I fully know my worth, I refuse to accept any mistreatment from a man.
Let me explain... I've always been confident but it hasn't been consistent. I learned that over time, I had to strengthen my confidence to keep it intact and the way to do that was to take it one day at a time and be kind to myself. I had to truly fall in love with myself.
My inner saboteur was constantly sabotaging me (yes, I watch Rupaul's Drag Race religiously and this really hit home for me when Ru told Adore Delano this).
Falling in love with yourself is just like falling in love with someone else. It's not easy. It requires a lot of work and commitment but you have to make the choice to step up and make an effort. You have to show up for yourself just like you would show up for your significant other.
You have to speak life into yourself and give yourself support and compliments. Too often, we give so much love to others but not enough to ourselves. I'm a caregiver by nature and tend to help others with no hesitation. But often, I forget to put myself first. I wasn't helping myself. And the less I helped myself and the more I helped others, the more my dreams drifted further away.
And that didn't help my confidence, especially within my career that had seemed to stall and my love life, which was a mess. I had so many dreams but I was not pursuing them.
I was so focused on that role of being a caregiver, that I didn't give myself care. And my life was not flourishing in the way it should.
I had to recharge my life and put myself first. I had to nurture a relationship with myself. I had to learn to accept my body, even the parts I don't like. I have a love/hate relationship with my legs but when I thought about my life and what my legs have done for me, I realized that I should be grateful for them period. And not worry too much about how they look. Their purpose is not to be gazed at. Their purpose is to enable me to walk and see the world.
My legs have taken me on this wonderful journey where I have seen so many amazing and incredible things. And they are mine. I have to own them and see the beauty in them. I had to validate myself and not seek validation from others. At the end of the day, what counts is how I view myself and not how I am viewed by others. This is my body and I have to live in it. It is up to me how I choose to live.
I had to also put myself out in the world more. I had to go after what I wanted. Pursuing your dreams is not easy. You have to be willing to put in the work in laying the groundwork. Once you put in the work and have faith, that is when your dreams come into fruition.
You have to believe in yourself, even when it seems like nothing is going right. I know that's hard but it is so necessary in order to push through and stay positive.
Let me explain... I've always been confident but it hasn't been consistent. I learned that over time, I had to strengthen my confidence to keep it intact and the way to do that was to take it one day at a time and be kind to myself. I had to truly fall in love with myself.
My inner saboteur was constantly sabotaging me (yes, I watch Rupaul's Drag Race religiously and this really hit home for me when Ru told Adore Delano this).
Falling in love with yourself is just like falling in love with someone else. It's not easy. It requires a lot of work and commitment but you have to make the choice to step up and make an effort. You have to show up for yourself just like you would show up for your significant other.
You have to speak life into yourself and give yourself support and compliments. Too often, we give so much love to others but not enough to ourselves. I'm a caregiver by nature and tend to help others with no hesitation. But often, I forget to put myself first. I wasn't helping myself. And the less I helped myself and the more I helped others, the more my dreams drifted further away.
And that didn't help my confidence, especially within my career that had seemed to stall and my love life, which was a mess. I had so many dreams but I was not pursuing them.
I was so focused on that role of being a caregiver, that I didn't give myself care. And my life was not flourishing in the way it should.
I had to recharge my life and put myself first. I had to nurture a relationship with myself. I had to learn to accept my body, even the parts I don't like. I have a love/hate relationship with my legs but when I thought about my life and what my legs have done for me, I realized that I should be grateful for them period. And not worry too much about how they look. Their purpose is not to be gazed at. Their purpose is to enable me to walk and see the world.
My legs have taken me on this wonderful journey where I have seen so many amazing and incredible things. And they are mine. I have to own them and see the beauty in them. I had to validate myself and not seek validation from others. At the end of the day, what counts is how I view myself and not how I am viewed by others. This is my body and I have to live in it. It is up to me how I choose to live.
I had to also put myself out in the world more. I had to go after what I wanted. Pursuing your dreams is not easy. You have to be willing to put in the work in laying the groundwork. Once you put in the work and have faith, that is when your dreams come into fruition.
You have to believe in yourself, even when it seems like nothing is going right. I know that's hard but it is so necessary in order to push through and stay positive.
I'm still working on me and will probably be working on me for the rest of my life. That's what all relationships require. Daily work and commitment. But I know better now. Life is good. And the more confident I feel, the more stronger I feel at tackling life and pursuing my dreams. I believe in me. And I know my dreams will come true.
I'm happy. I'm loving myself. And I am about to rock a crop top this fall. And wear more pants and not worry about all my lumps, bumps and rolls. Because I am beautiful and I feel so free.
"Sometimes when you lose your way, you find YOURSELF." ~ Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
I said goodbye to Year 45 on August 19 as I celebrated my birthday. And I have to say, Year 45 was a pretty damn good year.
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| My image was featured on Shape Magazine's website! |
It's scary and so unbelievably hard to start over. I learned things about myself that I had ignored for a very long time. I had to revisit painful things in my past in order to heal myself and be better. I had to be accountable for all the choices I've made in my life.
It's so much easier to stay in bed and hide from the world. Be in that state of nothingness where you don't have to deal with the world. But easy is not always good. You will never know what amazing things await you if you don't get out of bed and step out into the world.
Grief led me on this journey to taking care of myself by going into therapy. Therapy has taught me to be more self-aware, more confident and know my worth. I wasn't fully living my life. I have done amazing things in my life but my zest for life and my confidence was not consistent.
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| Me at my brother's grave -- I had no idea this pic was being taken |
I miss my dad and brother so much. My grief is still a part of my life. But I have learned that I can grieve for them but still live. I'm still here and I have the gift of life. My dad and brother would not want me to waste that gift. It's okay to be happy after a loss. Is it hard? Yes, definitely. But I had to let go of that guilt. I thought about what my dad and Danny would want for me. And they would want me to be happy.
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| The SmartGlamour #ImFlattered Shoot |
Confidence comes in many forms. It can be loving yourself, knowing your worth, knowing that you're enough and being motivated to put yourself out there and just believe. I believe in myself again. I believe in the possibilities. I believe that it's never too late to start over.
Being comfortable is not always a good thing. Sometimes being uncomfortable has more to do about how you feel about yourself and less about the situation. I never want to settle for anything less than what makes me happy. And I have to learned to trust my gut more and really think about my choices.
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| Me with my $12 Walmart dress this summer, LOL |
I'm learning to not be scared to try new styles, meet new people, write more and live in the moment. That is what Year 45 gave me... the courage to live. So I start Year 46 hopeful, excited, happy and looking forward to the amazing opportunities and possibilities that await me.
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| On set at Gwynnie Bee |
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| On set at Gwynnie Bee |
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| I did a Revelist video -- wearing a 2-piece for the first time |
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| Wearing a cut out dress for the first time |
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ME! This year has been one of many firsts and I can't wait to conquer even more firsts in Year 46.
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