Feeling Free in Life, Love & Fashion

Friday, September 2, 2016

"The more my confidence grows, the more I feel free." ~ Me

As I was looking at fall items this morning and planning what I was going to wear to NY Fashion Week this month, I came to a revelation that kind of shocked me. I was happy and I was looking at items that normally I would pass over.

Sleeveless dresses... cutout detailing... crop tops! I would have never thought I would get to this place where I was feeling confident and comfortable enough to bare my arms, show my tummy and wear dresses that were above the knee.

This evolution has spilled over into other areas in my life. Feeling more confident about myself has helped me with being more assertive and not caring too much what others think. It has also helped me with dating because now that I fully know my worth, I refuse to accept any mistreatment from a man.

Let me explain... I've always been confident but it hasn't been consistent. I learned that over time, I had to strengthen my confidence to keep it intact and the way to do that was to take it one day at a time and be kind to myself. I had to truly fall in love with myself.

My inner saboteur was constantly sabotaging me (yes, I watch Rupaul's Drag Race religiously and this really hit home for me when Ru told Adore Delano this).

Falling in love with yourself is just like falling in love with someone else. It's not easy. It requires a lot of work and commitment but you have to make the choice to step up and make an effort. You have to show up for yourself just like you would show up for your significant other.

You have to speak life into yourself and give yourself support and compliments. Too often, we give so much love to others but not enough to ourselves. I'm a caregiver by nature and tend to help others with no hesitation. But often, I forget to put myself first. I wasn't helping myself. And the less I helped myself and the more I helped others, the more my dreams drifted further away.

And that didn't help my confidence, especially within my career that had seemed to stall and my love life, which was a mess. I had so many dreams but I was not pursuing them.

I was so focused on that role of being a caregiver, that I didn't give myself care. And my life was not flourishing in the way it should.

I had to recharge my life and put myself first. I had to nurture a relationship with myself. I had to learn to accept my body, even the parts I don't like. I have a love/hate relationship with my legs but when I thought about my life and what my legs have done for me, I realized that I should be grateful for them period. And not worry too much about how they look. Their purpose is not to be gazed at. Their purpose is to enable me to walk and see the world.

My legs have taken me on this wonderful journey where I have seen so many amazing and incredible things. And they are mine. I have to own them and see the beauty in them. I had to validate myself and not seek validation from others. At the end of the day, what counts is how I view myself and not how I am viewed by others. This is my body and I have to live in it. It is up to me how I choose to live.

I had to also put myself out in the world more. I had to go after what I wanted. Pursuing your dreams is not easy. You have to be willing to put in the work in laying the groundwork. Once you put in the work and have faith, that is when your dreams come into fruition.

You have to believe in yourself, even when it seems like nothing is going right. I know that's hard but it is so necessary in order to push through and stay positive.

I'm still working on me and will probably be working on me for the rest of my life. That's what all relationships require. Daily work and commitment. But I know better now. Life is good. And the more confident I feel, the more stronger I feel at tackling life and pursuing my dreams. I believe in me. And I know my dreams will come true.

I'm happy. I'm loving myself. And I am about to rock a crop top this fall. And wear more pants and not worry about all my lumps, bumps and rolls. Because I am beautiful and I feel so free.


  1. Yay, you! Yes! Our bodies are meant to support our hearts and souls and brains and desires...NOT be "objects" to be judged by others...or even ourselves.

    You *are* beautiful - and kind and clever and talented.



  2. Great read Marcy! Loving yourself can change your life and how you go into the world every single day. When you feel confident it is felt by everyone around you because it is entangled in your beautiful aura. One step at a time...One day at a time continue to be patient with yourself and love yourself.


  3. That's right. . . Love you FIRST and the everything else will fall into place. I so enjoyed reading this post, and can see that you are Loving & Living like you were joyfully made to do.