Goodbye Year 45, It's Been an AMAZING One!

Thursday, August 25, 2016

"Sometimes when you lose your way, you find YOURSELF." ~ Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

I said goodbye to Year 45 on August 19 as I celebrated my birthday. And I have to say, Year 45 was a pretty damn good year.

My image was featured on Shape Magazine's website!
This was THE year where I feel like I finally found myself again. I have spent the last few years in a state of grief and I see now firsthand that when you hit rock bottom, that is when you can rebuild your life and reclaim your happiness. But you have to choose to take that first step of starting over.

It's scary and so unbelievably hard to start over. I learned things about myself that I had ignored for a very long time. I had to revisit painful things in my past in order to heal myself and be better. I had to be accountable for all the choices I've made in my life.

It's so much easier to stay in bed and hide from the world. Be in that state of nothingness where you don't have to deal with the world. But easy is not always good. You will never know what amazing things await you if you don't get out of bed and step out into the world.

Grief led me on this journey to taking care of myself by going into therapy. Therapy has taught me to be more self-aware, more confident and know my worth. I wasn't fully living my life. I have done amazing things in my life but my zest for life and my confidence was not consistent.

Me at my brother's grave -- I had no idea this pic was being taken
I miss my dad and brother so much. My grief is still a part of my life. But I have learned that I can grieve for them but still live. I'm still here and I have the gift of life. My dad and brother would not want me to waste that gift. It's okay to be happy after a loss. Is it hard? Yes, definitely. But I had to let go of that guilt. I thought about what my dad and Danny would want for me. And they would want me to be happy.
The SmartGlamour #ImFlattered Shoot
Confidence comes in many forms. It can be loving yourself, knowing your worth, knowing that you're enough and being motivated to put yourself out there and just believe. I believe in myself again. I believe in the possibilities. I believe that it's never too late to start over. 

Being comfortable is not always a good thing. Sometimes being uncomfortable has more to do about how you feel about yourself and less about the situation. I never want to settle for anything less than what makes me happy. And I have to learned to trust my gut more and really think about my choices.
Me with my $12 Walmart dress this summer, LOL
I'm learning to not be scared to try new styles, meet new people, write more and live in the moment. That is what Year 45 gave me... the courage to live. So I start Year 46 hopeful, excited, happy and looking forward to the amazing opportunities and possibilities that await me.

On set at Gwynnie Bee
On set at Gwynnie Bee
I did a Revelist video -- wearing a 2-piece for the first time
Wearing a cut out dress for the first time
 HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ME! This year has been one of many firsts and I can't wait to conquer even more firsts in Year 46.


  1. I'm so happy for you Marcy! Happy Birthday again & here's to making year 46 the best one yet!

  2. Beautiful post Marcy! I'm so happy to see you happy and enjoying life! Hugs!