My humbling moment

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

For weeks since Dad passed away, I have not been the easiest person to deal with. My mom and I have not been getting along either. Today was no different. This morning, she had a doctor's appointment and then we did lunch. All day today, my left hand was killing me. Sometimes I get bad arthritis in my hands from all the writing and typing I have done over the years. So I was in a lot of pain. But I was still trying to be in good spirits because I did not want to stress my mom.

Anyway, she noticed that I kept grimacing in pain when I moved my fingers. So she kept asking me if I was okay. Yes, Mom. LOL.

As we waited for our car to pick us up, she kept looking at me with concern and I kept telling her, "I'm fine". The car comes and usually my mom sits in the back on the right because of her bad knee. So I have to go around and get in on the left, which is usually the side that is facing the road with oncoming traffic.

So she asks the driver if she can sit in the front and he says yes. She then turns to me and tells me to sit behind her on the right. I asked why. She then told me that she didn't want me to go out of my way to get in the car on the left with my bad hand because we had bags as well...she wanted me to be comfortable.


Just so you know, my mom hates sitting in the front of a car. She hates the seatbelts in the front (the crossover), she hates being that close to the front window and she always feels like she doesn't have enough room in the front to stretch her legs. So for her to give up her seat and sit in the front just so I could be comfortable was a pretty BIG deal.

I was so humbled at that very moment. And it hit me. My mom really loves me and no matter how old I am, she will be always be the mother and I, the child. I can be 60 and she 81 and she will still "try" to take care of me. I always felt like my mom didn't love me as much as my brother. I know it's a silly thing to say but he was always her "favorite" as I was my father's "favorite". So for her to do something so selfless, even if it seems like a minor thing...well, it really just got me emotional.

I was wearing sunglasses and thank goodness for that because the tears started to fall. I felt so humbled and loved at the same time.

I needed that moment. I am still trying to accept that my dad is gone. And Mom is all that I have left. I have to appreciate her while she is here. I am going to think about that everytime she gets on my nerves (lol). I have to pick and choose my battles with her. I can't argue with her over everything. It just isn't right. Life is too short for us to spend our moments arguing.

I'm typing with one hand because I am still in pain. But this moment was so great that I had to share. I can only hope I can be a wonderful mother to my children one day as my mom is to my brother and I. We are lucky to have her. She may be loud at times, talk at inappropriate times (like funerals, SMH), and can be stubborn but she is one of the most genuine, caring, loving people I know. She is my mom.

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