"A star does not compete with other stars around it; it just shines." ~ Matshona Dhliwayo

For a long time I doubted my greatness. I was always taught to be humble and not brag. While that is not a bad thing, as a result of that, I never gave myself much credit and it affected the conversations I was having with myself.

I used words like "if", "try", "might" and all those words are more questions than affirmations.

"I'm just trying to live my best life."

"I'll try to be the best person I can be."

"I might be successful."

"If I get that opportunity..."

See, how that sounds when you say it aloud? A simple change of words can make the difference in how you speak to yourself and view your greatness.

"I'm living my best life."

"I'm the best person I can be."

"I will be successful".

I am learning to catch myself when I say "If I..." and instead say "I will!" I'm no fortune teller but when you speak life into yourself and claim the things you want, magical things happen. Now life may not go as planned but honestly, whose life goes as planned? We can't control everything that happens in our lives but we can control how we roll with punches and what we put out into the world.

As my good friend Steffany reminded me yesterday, if something is meant for you, it will happen. In the meantime, I am going to look ahead, stay focused and follow my purpose.

I'm going to be happy in the moment and love myself. I'm going to keep speaking out to the world through my writing and voice so I am heard. 

I am going to give myself credit for my greatness.

It's not bragging. It's about believing in yourself and what you can do in your life. 

Last week, I had the opportunity to be a guest on a Facebook Live segment with plus size styling subscription service Dia & Co, where they were styling me for an industry event. 

The host, Dia's Community Manager Ashby Vose, was so friendly and welcoming. I was so nervous and kept thinking, "Will I do well? Will the fans like me? Will I mess up?". When I told Ashby I was nervous, she told me "They will love you! Watch!"

I then decided to just go on and be myself. Just as I blogged a few weeks ago, I had to show up for myself, the folks at Dia and their Facebook fans and customers.

And guess what? The segment was incredible!!!! The customers tuning in really showered me with compliments and asked questions, which I loved. They chose this amazing floral dress for me to wear, which I did this week at a blogger/influencer event thrown by Fruit of the Look/Fit for Me during Full Figured Fashion Week.




The dress matched my mermaid hair and was a hit! So many people came up to me and said how great I looked and how my hair and dress looked amazing in their matching glory.



I was reminded that evening that I am a star in my own right and there is nothing wrong with embracing that. The journey to that evening and the story of how I got that dress from Dia & Co was one that reminded me that I can do whatever I set my mind to. 

And at that event, so many people validated that by complimenting me on my outfit and what I have done in the community. I heard from a few people that they appreciate what I do and that my voice is so needed in the world.

I will never forget after the Facebook Live segment at Dia & Co, as I walked to the elevator to go home, CEO and Co-founder Nadia Boujarwah looked at me and gave me the thumbs up and a big smile. That moment told me that I need to appreciate what I bring to the world more because others see it. Others see my greatness.

I won't lie, there are times when I revert back to the old words of "if", "try", "might" and etc. But it takes moments like that that remind me of my greatness and keep me going. I'm human and not perfect but I also control the way I talk to myself. It's always my choice.

And a fabulous dress with matching hair always makes the world take notice of a star. 

Dress: Modamix via Dia & Co

Handbag: Out of the Closet (Oakland, CA) 

Sneakers: Lane Bryant

"If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door." -Milton Berle

I have found myself saying a few times in the last couple of weeks that 2016 was one of the best years of my life. If you have been keeping up with me and my journey, you know that I'm not saying that lightly because life has been hella rough for me in the last few years.

Real talk, this was THE year I reclaimed my belief in my greatness and worth. I just had to work through the murkiness of my emotions and push through the grief. Grief is a sneaky thing. It can spread out and seize other parts of your life, if you let it. 

When the year kicked off, I was lost but feeling like I was on the verge of either a breakdown or a breakthrough. Just keeping it real with all of you.

And I was not trying to have a breakdown. Oh no. Life is too valuable and short for all that.

I decided early on this year that I had to create opportunities for myself. I was growing frustrated at the lack of representation of someone who looked like me and I also wanted to be seen in order to gain more opportunities pertinent to my purpose, and that wasn't quite happening as often as I wanted it to. I realized that I had to stop complaining and just focus on creating avenues for myself to be seen as well as pursue opportunities.

Dreams are meant to be chased, not waited for. 

And it worked! I had an amazing year! And 2017 is looking to be good, too.

So here's the top 10 reasons why 2016 was a kick ass year for me and truly changed my life...



I had the honor of moderating the Owning Your Confidence panel at the Redefining Healthy event, which kicked off Full Figured Fashion Week in June. I was so nervous but I pushed through it and did it! It was an amazing experience and I am ready to moderate (and speak on) many more panels in 2017. Special shout out to Darlene Lebron of Suits, Heels & Curves for the amazing opportunity.






















I can't wait to see what 2017 brings. I am already on board for another fashion campaign for a major plus size retailer that will focus on size diversity AND I am going to start writing for another body positive website. The sky's the limit!

Oh, the prom. It wasn't a total bad experience for me. But finding a dress was a major mission and that is something I will never forget.

I didn't know it back then but my prom experience was a prologue to who I was becoming... confident, secure and driven. When I look back, I smile because I had such a fearless attitude back then and didn't let anything hold me back from doing what I wanted to do.

I couldn't afford a designer/custom prom dress and couldn't find one in stores that fit me like my thinner friends could. The year was 1988 and my options at the time were Lane Bryant, Avenue (called "Sizes Unlimited" back then), May's and Alexander's.

After having no luck, I decided to wear my white confirmation dress that had been sitting in a garment bag for a year -- my mom found my dress at a bridal shop and it worked perfectly for me. It was the prettiest dress I owned and I felt beautiful in it... it was lace and satin and had a mermaid silhouette. I also wore my satin white pumps from my confirmation. Borrowed a clutch from my mom and I was ready, with my Salt N' Pepa asymmetrical haircut, cat eye and red lipstick.

I had no date and my dad drove me in his white Nova that had the front bumper falling off. But I went to my prom, held my head up high and walked in like I owned the place. I had so much fun, danced with some friends and then went home, feeling great that I decided to go. It felt empowering. I mean, who wears a wedding dress to a prom? Me, LOL.

Fast forward almost 30 years later and I got the opportunity to relive my prom again when Full Figured Fashion Week added a plus size prom event to their schedule.

This time, I wanted to get the dress that I wanted and that would certainly not be a wedding dress. I wanted something different and unique. And that's when the amazing Hannah Olsen of Hannah Caroline Couture stepped in.

Hannah is an up-and-coming fashion designer that passionately believes in inclusive fashion. She wants to offer clothing to every woman. She offers standardized sizing up to a 5X but will also do custom work as well. What I loved about working with her on my dress was that she made sure I was part of the process at every step. I chose my fabric, told her what silhouette I wanted and etc.

I love prints so I wanted to incorporate that in with a bold color.





You can never go wrong with getting custom made clothing. You may think it's not affordable but I assure you, it's well worth it AND some designers will work with you according to your budget. All you have to do is ask.

A special thank you to Hannah and Cameo for making my plus size prom do-over an amazing time and a night to remember.

You can check out Hannah Caroline Couture at http://www.hccdesign.co/

You can check out Cameo de Bore at http://cameodebore.com/ and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/CameoDeBore. Sometimes Cameo will show new products and sales on her Facebook page so it's well worth it to follow her on FB.

I love my prom dress so much and it's so cozy that I want to wear it every day. So If you see me in the supermarket wearing this dress, that's why. :-)

L to R: Dress by Beth Ditto for Evans UK; Bird Print Dress From eShakti; Lace Dress from Dots, Bow Belt from Torrid & Leopard Print leggings from Simply Be

Me wearing my animal print dress (gasps!) from Addition Elle at FFF Week 2012

I don’t know who wrote this mythical rule book of what a big girl can’t wear but I’d like to find that person, buy them a cup of coffee and explain to them how their rules are the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. That's why I call it mythical... all those rules are MYTHS. And as I school this person on fashion, I would be sitting there, rocking the most FABULOUS polka dot dress with shoes to match.

We live in a society that continues to restrict us and police us on what we should and shouldn’t wear. And this has made the world a very critical place. So I know it takes a lot of courage to remain true to your style and walk out into a world where you will surely be stared at, talked about and criticized. Believe me, I know this all too well. You learn to develop an armor against these things because you have to ask yourself, what’s more important, your happiness or theirs? Shoot, I like being happy so I’m going to wear all sorts of prints until the day I die. To me, being true to yourself is the epitome of what being fearless is all about. And this includes expressing yourself through fashion and individual style.

Me at 6 yrs old, showing my fierceness

My print fascination began as a child. I was born in the 70’s so I blame and thank my mother for my print obsession. I grew up during a time where bell bottoms were in style and no color or print was off limits. As you can see, I rocked with what I was given and that, my friends, is the beginning of me as a fashionista owning my own style with attitude and confidence.

As I got older, my love for prints and bold colors grew, despite being told that I had to wear black to look thinner and that prints made me look fatter. That confused me as I thought I looked fabulous.

Over the years, my love for prints remained. Even when a friend told me I looked like a whale (she is no longer a friend) or recently, when a close friend told me that I made a mistake wearing that polka dot dress because it made me look pregnant. Some people mean well but I honestly think if they heard themselves in a playback, they would be mortified. See, this is the critical world we live in. Everyone has an opinion and will give it at a moment’s notice. But it is our choice to listen and let it affect our style. We always have a choice, people. I choose to continue to rock my prints with a wide smile on my face and head up high. I believe I am fabulous and know it. Once you believe in your fabulousness, no one else’s words can break through that armor.

Here's that dress I supposedly look pregnant in (from Simply Be)... NOT. Side note: I love that we are all wearing prints!

So, to that person who wrote that rule book, let me tell you something. When it comes to fashion, rules are made to be broken. Because fashion is subjective. Fashion is who you are and what you love to wear. Fashion is not something that can be defined with rules and kept in a box. Fashion is you. What we should be talking about is how to choose items that emphasize your style and make you feel good. You know when you put something on, if it's right or not.

I know that many of us don't wear certain things out of fear. But once you conquer that fear by choosing to take small steps and introducing each item at a time into your wardrobe, you will build that confidence that will inspire you to continue on your fashion journey.

Just because you're rocking a big body does not mean you can't love aspects of it to the point of wanting to show it off. I love that I have an hourglass figure. I love my waist, my hips, my booty, all of that. I will admit that I am not a fan of my upper arms but I am working through that by wearing shorter sleeves and going shorter with baby steps.

From L to R: Leopard dress from Torrid, Sweater from Lane Bryant; Floral dress from Old Navy; Eyelash print top from ASOS; Bird Print dress from Simply Be

What counts is that you try. No one will adore and love your body more than you will. And that is the key to unleashing that inner fashionista and being true to your style. Whether it's prints, bold colors or even MC Hammer pants, do you. If it feels right and you love it, go for it!

Affatshionista:  SWAK Red Cherry Dress Size 5X Review
Fatshion Peepshow:  Push The Little Daisies... Fat Girl Flower Power
The Valerie Gallery:  Perfect Prints, Right?
Color me Fatt:  Fat Girls Can
The Fat Girl:  Black, White and Red All Over
It’s Melicious:  Falltivest
Plump Up the Frock:  Prints? Absolutely.
Lis Finds Bliss:  Prints En Kimono
Harper Valley Vlog:  Big Gals Can Wear Prints

Banner: Elizabeth Tamny

Fashion, to me, is yet another way for me to express myself and make myself happy. A new outfit can heal the soul and put a pep in your step, let me tell you. With Full Figured Fashion Week(tm) NYC coming up in two months and with me on the production team, I really have been trying to get all my outfits together for all the events I'm attending.

Yesterday marked 8 weeks since my dad passed away. I spent the day with my brother at my step-mom's house, going thru my dad's things. I picked up his ashes too. I realized that I needed to do this...this is step 1 of me getting my life back. I was standing still. For me, I was still back in April. And I need to start living and be in June like everyone else. That is what my dad would want for me.

Looking forward to getting my hair done this week, meeting up with a friend on Friday for lunch who is coming up from South Carolina and preparing for Full Figured Fashion Week. During this whole time of trying to deal with my dad's death, I have been working as a freelancer on the FFF Week production team. And that was such a blessing since it kept me busy. One of the perks of being on the production team is that I get to go to all the events. I'm really excited.

I'm working the shopping event (I'm the co-organizer) so if any of my readers are coming to FFF Week in New York City from June 16 - 18 and attending the Curves in the City Shopping Soiree, please make sure to say hello.

Yes, friends, I am getting my life back.

Stiletto Siren & I at FFF Week 10/30/10

Back in October, I was lucky enough to win VIP tickets to Full Figured Fashion Week(end) in Los Angeles courtesy of Sonsi and Lips, Hips and Fatshion Tips, a blog run by the beautiful Stiletto Siren. It was such a great event where I met so many amazing people like Stiletto Siren herself, plus size models Rosie Mercado and Fluvia Lacerda, my girls from the Fashion Plus 3 blog, blogger and plus size model Nichole Nikstar Smith, designer Celes Harvey of Sassi Rebel Clothing, Plus Model Magazine Editor Madeline Figueroa Jones and others.

Well, apparently, that prize was the prize that keeps on giving. In mid-December, as I sat in Macy’s, Christmas shopping with a friend, I got an email informing me that I won the $300 shopping spree from Evans that was being promoted during FFF Week(end). ::flatlines:: Yes, I almost passed out in the shoe department as my homegirl Carmen was trying on boots.

Now for those of you who don’t know me, I love Evans. No, let me rephrase that…I FREAKING LOVE EVANS. When I went to London last March, I hit up the Evans store in Marble Arch and must have spent about $400. For me to spend any kind of money like that, you know it’s a big deal. I loved my shopping experience there so much that as soon as I got home, I placed another order with them online and then wrote a store review on Madison Plus. It was that serious for a fashion recessionista such as myself. Because you know I bought like half the store for my $400, lol. I bought so many things on sale that I needed to buy a second suitcase while in London. I bought a few pairs of shoes, belts, bags, accessories, on top of the clothes I picked up. Things that I have such a hard time finding in the US. Bags with longer straps, pretty belts, and shoes galore!

Evans is a great store that I wish was available in the US. It’s hard for me to find shoes here because I am in between widths and size. Sometimes a 9 is tight and a 9 ½ is too loose. Evans offers 3 types of widths and their shoes are very generous in length. I have yet to try a pair of their boots but I hear they are awesome. I still have my Evans gladiator sandal wedges on a pedestal in my room. I always wanted a pair and could not find a pair that would fit me, width-wise. Thank you Evans!

So I submitted my list of items to Evans yesterday and cannot wait for them to arrive! Soooo excited. Here’s some of the items I picked...feel free to shop my look and we’ll all look fabulous together, lol.



Red V Neck Top
Hamnett(R) Choose Life Tee
Black and White Print Jacket
Grey Rouched Coat
Black Ponte Pencil Skirt
Black Jersey Side Jeggings
Grey Leopard Print Tights
Black Stud Trim Hip Belt

I was lucky enough to win VIP tickets to FFF Week(end) in Los Angeles, CA on October 28 - 30, 2010, courtesy of Stiletto Siren and Sonsi. I'll talk about my great time at FFF Week(end) in another post.

I decided to wear a dress from Eliza Parker to the Runway Finale event. Eliza Parker is this great new plus size clothing collection by designer Jessica Tenaglia that runs up to size 26/28. I had the pleasure of meeting Jessica at an Eliza Parker NYC event back in June and was so impressed at her knowledge of the plus size body and her desire to create a collection that will properly fit and celebrate a woman's curves. She really pays attention to fabric, fit and color. I instantly fell in love with the Santorini dress in Midnight Blue.

I had to have it. I usually wear black dresses but wanted to change it up a bit and wear some color. The length was perfect for me as I prefer to wear long dresses to formal events. I thought the blue would look beautiful against my pale skin. Plus, the style of the dress would flatter me in the right places. I have an hourglass shape, a tummy, and wide hips (not to mention a big booty, thanks to my Latina heritage, lol).

The dress did not disappoint. The fabric is stretchy, draped well, and is not clingy at all. It flows so well as I walk. The dress has a great black liner underneath, which I found to be an awesome bonus. The fabric does not feel cheap at all. The dress is a little heavy in weight, which for me I love because I can wear it all year round. The day I wore it, the weather was around 80 degrees and I was not hot at all despite the weight of the fabric. I wore it with a short sleeve shrug from Curvy Girl Clothing. However, I think I can also wear it in the winter, paired with a long sleeve jacket or shrug and not be cold. This is a very versatile dress. Not to mention, it was so comfy because of the soft fabric (Poly/Rayon/Spandex)! Are formal dresses supposed to be comfy? I have no idea but I am in love with this dress.

The empire waist is so flattering! It takes the attention from my tummy and emphasizes my waist. I love how the top part of the dress has wide straps, which resemble a halter type wrap style. I usually hate to wear sleeveless tops or dresses but I would wear this dress without a jacket or shrug. I feel so beautiful in it. I felt an urge to twirl and spin when I put it on the first time, lol. Love it!

I have become such a big fan of Eliza Parker. I now have my eye on the Savannah dress in plum and the Monaco dress, which is this beautiful black and white dress that I saw Madeline Figueroa Jones from Plus Model Magazine wearing at one of the FFF Week(end) events.

So, to my fellow plus size fashionista sisters out there, definitely check out Eliza Parker! You will not be disappointed. They currently have a promotion going through Dec 8, where you can take an additional 15% off your order. Use code LIGHTS15 at checkout.

Here's some more pics of me rocking my fabulous blue EP dress:


Me with the beautiful Rosie Mercado, Face of FFF Week (she's wearing Igigi)



Me with the face of Eliza Parker, the gorgeous Fluvia Lacerda, plus size model




Me with the wonderful Madeline Figueroa Jones from Plus Model Magazine

Shop my look:
Santorini Dress in Midnight Blue from Eliza Parker
Matching Shrug from Eliza Parker (my shrug is no longer available at Curvy Girl Clothing but this shrug is just as fabulous)
Black Chiffon Lace Flower Hair Clip from Torrid
Avery Clutch in black from Payless
Black Peeptoe Courts from Evans UK